Hey dudes.. Fellow lurker here and think its time for me to contribute an experience. At the end I'd also like input and hopefully some EC's can chime in as well. I'll TRY to keep it short and concise as much as I can. At the same time I want you guys to be as blunt as possible and I don't care about feelings hurt. I'll take it as tough love. Let's get started!

DISCLAIMER

After lurking TRP, I realize that no one gives a shit about me as a person but rather the value they get from interacting with me. I am in no ways a special snowflake, therefore this field report is mean't for me to be honest with myself, to share my experience, and to spark a discussion around the topics discussed.

About Me

I grew up socially anxious and was mainly submissive in terms of voice/posture/body language/and eye contact. As a result I was isolated and picked on, and that's my fault more than anything. I've been slowly implementing TRP with good results, although I still struggle with falling back into bad habits.

I'm in my early 20's, tall, and have been lifting for 6 years so I no doubt have a presence, but I feel like my SMV has way outpaced my mind in terms of social development. What I mean is that those days that I am on point I notice that people easily fall into my frame, but those days I'm antisocial, I'm very anxious, give into others' frames, and avoid eye contact on purpose. If I were to translate this into a scale, I would give my physical SMV a 8, but my mental game is still at a 3-4. Making my average SMV a ~5-6. More on this later.

Physique pic for those who care

Field Report with Mini-Analysis

Eye contact and Body Language

Today I noticed something while at the gym, and I mainly attribute this to a less hazy mind from not smoking heavy weed everyday anymore.

Typically I

  • Have horrible body language as a result of being anxious
  • Look down first instantly when I make eye contact with someone
  • Look around for validation to see if anyone is staring at me, thinking I'm the center of the universe.

This time I

  • Walked with my head straight and good posture
  • Looked most people in the eye and gave a head nod if the eye contact is maintained
  • Avoided the head swivel and focused on my workout more than anything
  • Did not pay attention to what others are doing
  • Introduced myself to the receptionist who I typically keep it short with. She was proactive in the conversation and was smiling the whole time while sharing details with me. She gave an invitation to escalate which I did not act on.
  • Noticed a guy from university that I graduated with that just joined the same gym. Went and caught up with him for a few minutes after realizing it was him.

What changed as a result

  • I noticed that people looked down or away first
  • People moved out of my way If I was walking somewhere
  • Girls (and guys) did the head swivel this time instead of me
  • Girls placed themselves in my vicinity, for example they chose the vacant power rack next to me rather than a few power racks away
  • Older women smile openly, but younger women are intimidated by my presence

What I need to work on, and why I gave my SMV a 5-6

  • Opening those girls.. I still get anxious by default due to self-confidence issues from my younger years that I haven't gotten rid of.
  • If a girl is in my vicinity, I act extremely disinterested and don't even look at them. I noticed they eventually walk away with a frown on their face.
  • Talking to everyone at the gym.. I feel like I inadvertently blank people as a coping mechanism. I often chuck it away that I'm focused on my workout, but let's be real here, I need to grow some balls and work on my social muscles.
  • Stop being needy. I feel like those coping mechanisms stem from neediness and me trying to convince myself that I'm not needy.

AMOG

A certain Personal Trainer always stares at me when I'm at the gym then starts trying to AMOG, such as purposefully dancing after I do a heavy set, hovering and talking loud on purpose near me, or doing a head swivel as I pass by (this is extremely obvious and occurs regularly). This same guy always follows girls around the gym and tries talking to them. I don't understand why he does that shit? I'm convinced he either hates my guts or wants to talk to me, but I'm not sure what it is. I've talked to him before but it didn't seem like he wanted to talk much.

I noticed other trainers make eye contact but don't try to AMOG. One asked me if his client can work in and we had a good conversation while the client was doing his set. It was no problem. I even encouraged his client after his set because he seemed new and nervous to the environment, I know how that feels for less-seasoned people.

End of FR and some Discussion Points

  • My question is why does the trainer do that shit? Is it because I typically look away from him when he AMOGs/stares (blanking), does he notice that I don't check girls out constantly, or am I full of shit and triggering him in some way?
  • I understand the best way to game girls at the gym is to talk to EVERYONE, so if you've blanked someone previously is it weird to go talk to them the next time around?
  • You shouldn't always depend on IOI's, but what type of IOI's have you noticed that ended up in successful approaches?
  • Why do other men stare? I do unorthodox exercises that typical gym bro's don't do so are they AMOGing, roasting, or curious as to what exercise I'm doing?
  • Any advice for those who feel like their SMV has outpaced their mental game?
  • Do girls notice other girls checking you out?
  • On the flip side do other men notice when girls check you out? Does that trigger them or cause some sort of subconscious AMOGing?

I hope this is isn't a shitpost and that it will spark some sort of discussion we can all learn from. Thanks again!