How do feel more secure with my masculinity?

betterredthenwed · 2018-11-15T15:26:01+00:00

What is something you've always wanted to do but didn't, to meet their expectations?

Do that. But not out of revenge or spite. Because you want to.

user_miki · 2018-11-15T15:40:01+00:00

Your females castrated you.

Remember what your females talk you out, and do the exact opposite.Find a nice hobby, play video games some sport contact fighting sports, lifting some weights, help build some testosterone.

And more important than anything.Learn to say "NO".If you don't like something, say "NO".Real men say NO a lot to women.NO is the most important word to learn.Fuck feelings of the other people.Put yourself first.

Farhandlir · 2018-11-15T15:58:34+00:00

This is some Redpill shit not really MGTOW.

Stop giving a fuck about stranger's looks and opinion, only women care about that shit, real men live for themselves not for others, if someone says something about you just tell them to go suck a horse or something.
Learn to carry yourself, it doesn't matter if you are athletic or pot bellied, stand straight, shoulders back, proud torso, and walk like you own the place, it's not about looks, it's about how you carry yourself.
Look at people straight in the eyes, be it walking past then, talking to them, don't look away, show them who's the boss and that you are not afraid of them, show them your confidence and that you know what you want.
Don't be afraid to scratch yourself, don't be a sissy boy, life is dirty, our cities are dirty, doing mechanics is awesome so are outdoor activities, go out there and do some fighting sports, this will man you up real quick.

DangZagnut · 2018-11-15T17:27:35+00:00

Go camping and stop trying to be a tranny would help.

What makes a man? I can tell you that being soft and weak doesn't. Usually it's pain. It's trying to start a fire in the rain. It's sleeping when it's freezing. It's going to the gym when you don't want to.

Suffering makes a man. Your suffering was emotional, so it made a woman.

In the "real world" men have to charge the hill, mow the lawn when there's a thousand mosquitos eating you, it's smashing your thumb hammering a nail.

It's be doing shit, and the responsibilities that come with that.

Go suffer son. Put away the astroglide and go do something you hate that's painful instead of being feminine and waiting around for someone else to do it for you.

Docbear64 · 2018-11-15T16:53:04+00:00

No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover is the second most important book I've read in my life behind the Bible .

Link to free copy of the Audio book: https://yourlisten.com/aceofplace/no-more-mr-nice-guy

Just press the x in the far right corner to dismiss their ugly ad overlay.

I had a real problem with my masculinity when I was in my late teens and early 20's ( up until about 25 actually) . I constantly felt like an overgrow little boy, never quite like a man . I didn't feel comfortable doing what I wanted, taking the lead, and I too grew up as an introvert with a lot of social anxiety so I would have raging internal debates over the simplest things " should I say hi? oh no I have to ask someone to move fro MY seat in a theater ! is that ok ) . I was on TRP and one of the book recommendations was No more Mr. Nice guy . The title struck me because for much of my life if there was one phrase people used to describe me and that I'd say I even relished for a while was that of being a "nice guy " .

The book does a fantastic job of explaining why being "nice" is actually bad and a defense mechanism and instead of choosing to be nice we as men should strive to be authentic / good. good men can be assholes but we accept them as good men , nice guys tend to conduct themselves to a tight behavioral script that is based on the perceptions of others and often betrays their own internal needs and desires. that robs both the nice guy of himself and sharing his true self with others and others of really experiencing and knowing him as a real person rather than an overly kind background character. It explains why , often we come from single mother families or matriarchies, it explains how we unintentionally sabotage the kind of relationships we want.

Anyway I highly recommend the book , it destroyed me at first, it highlighted a lot of immature complexes and perspectives of the world I'd retained my entire childhood and young adulthood but it allowed me to enter into this current adult phase of my life and I've never felt more in control, more powerful, and more driven to be the best man I can be . I can't recommend it enough , It helped me fix a lot of gaping holes I had within myself as an adult that I'd not realized I carried with me from childhood.

I hope it helps you too !

wildfireboat · 2018-11-15T17:10:15+00:00

Sounds like you have a "long-term planning" problem.

Jobs. We hate them. But we must do them... if we're not rich...

A job pays you money. HUP UP UP! I did not say it would pay you well. HUP UP UP! I don't care if you'll struggle to pay rent. HUP UP UP! I don't care about your shitty situation.

No amount of complaining helped those people who escaped the World Trade Centers before they collapsed. Only quick feet. See? No complaining.

Your number one goal is to get a job. Coworkers don't like you? I don't care. Work. Got student loans? I don't care. Work. Ramen again for din din? I don't care. Work.

Work gives you skills. Skills give you value. Value gives you opportunities. Would I hire a painter to operate a bulldozer? Fuck no. See? Work. Gain skills. Become valuable. Stop crying...

rifinwono12 · 2018-11-15T19:22:03+00:00

I would say that's sad.

But I think it's hard to develop if you don't have a headstart as a kid. You should basically spend the next 3-4 years in monk mode. Do work that pays your bills and allows you to socialize. After work, you work on yourself. Read stuff. You need all kinds of knowledge. Exercise rigorously. Develop hobbies like hiking and mountain biking. Not necessarily violent but physical nevertheless. Reduce contact with women. Socializing with them too much does influence your thinking. Try to develop mental peace. And most importantly never discuss your emotion with anyone. Instead, think about what you're feeling or experiencing. Think but don't react. Stoicism is important and being overly emotional or sharing your emotions can lead to nothing positive. You should basically think you're alone in a planet full of strangers. Once you learn to survive (and you will), it will become second nature.

JJ3314 · 2018-11-15T17:39:30+00:00

You need to introspect more, and find personal goals that are if not inspiring, at least hold personal interest and meaning for you. I find it hard to believe that most people don't have at least something that garners their interest. Developing personal competence, and a sense of self-mastery is important, but that automatically means accepting that life consists of near daily, if not daily, striving in one aspect or another.

Aside from goals that are personally meaningful, you will at the very least need to pursue goals out of basic human necessity--holding down a job, being financially self sustaining, and I would include physical fitness/strength/proper nutrition goals with this. These are things you should force yourself to do whether you like it or not.

It would also be good for you to develop your mind, and get better at thinking analytically on issues that are relevant to living your life more effectively, and deriving greater satisfaction from your life. When reading, or accessing any issue of substance, always ask yourself "what is the evidence the author is presenting to back up his or her statements?" "What reasoning are they employing in the face of the evidence they are presenting--is it sound?" Getting better at being honest about what you know based on facts, evidence and logic, vs. what you are inclined to believe based on emotions is part of being a mature thinker, but I also think is an inherent strength men have (on average) over women. I'm not saying that there aren't times when intuitive leaps of logic can't pan out well, but the point is to get better at striving for objectivity rather than drawing conclusions based solely, or primarily on emotions. Successful living requires that a person align their behaviors with reality as much is they reasonably can, as usually that will result in a better outcome (there are arguably times when it's better to be happy and ignorant, but I think ignorance usually results in self harm). A trivial example: I've avoided stepping on a scale for a number of weeks, knowing that my eating habits deteriorated. I've been looking in the mirror, feeling pretty good about my appearance, none the less. Low and behold I step on the scale, and I've gained 7 pounds. Since at baseline I needed to lose weight, now I have a productive benchmark to respond to, and am going back to tracking calories and carbs, which has always yielded positive results, rather than just going based on "feeling" alone.

Try to spend more time in the company of men, but avoid toxic personalities. I would include in this avoiding feminized media that tries to indoctrinate based on emotional arguments, shaming language, or in general media that analyzes issues of importance superficially, and without giving dispassionate, and full treatment to important issues. I realize that social media, and much of the internet, falls short in this regard, including reddit, but recognize your mind is your most precious resource. You wouldn't accept someone dumping trash into your house, so try to minimize dumping trash into your mind (this is rather hard to do).

Lastly, get better at accepting responsibility for regulating your emotions. That doesn't mean denying that they exist--some men are naturally tough, and stoic, but many men are overly neurotic about acknowledging their emotions for fear of looking like a pussy. This is retarded. Ideally you would have mature, broad minded, and compassionate men in your life to talk over personal issues, with an eye to fixing them, or making them better--mentors (including a good father or uncle), intelligent friends, but many men don't have that. Still, introspecting in the form of journaling, meditation, prolonged prayer where you speak to God about personal issues (if you are religious), exercising to relieve stress, engaging in hobbies that lift up the spirits, are all ways of managing your emotions, even in the absence of supportive male friends. It's not the having of emotions that is the problem, it's the failure to tend to them responsibly that's the problem.

InformalCriticism · 2018-11-15T19:20:46+00:00

The only way to fix this is to spend time around other men who understand where you're coming from. Male friendships are the only way to embrace your masculinity if there is no male mentor or father figure.

I fear this will be the future of my son, because he has been so feminized by my ex wife after she won custody over a series of false accusations.

Snakerspug · 2018-11-15T15:44:04+00:00

Martial Arts. Find a local gym, make sure it’s got some good reviews and check it out. It’s not gonna be easy or necessarily fun the first few classes because it takes getting used to, but it sure teaches you to be disciplined and confident in yourself.

I recommend Muay Thai, boxing, or BJJ myself

Edit: just read the very end of your post. Keep your chin up bro! You got a lot of life ahead of ya and you’ll get where you want to be, just stay focused

renegatta · 2018-11-15T19:33:45+00:00

I give you an exercise. For some days or more if you like. Don't look at people unless you really have to. Especially don't look at women if not really necessary. Good exercise. It's like zen or sth. Imagine being a rock. Emotions are like waves. They can't sway you around as you are the rock.

You 'll find yourself in a different light later.

All the best and gyow.

UnKnownSurviving · 2018-11-15T21:11:03+00:00

Hanging around or growing up with women is mentally damaging, especially, if you are attempting to naturally, instinctually follow your first instincts to do what a male does. Your instincts knows. The women fucking do not. Be it your mother, sister, aunt or any woman.

I grew up with my mother and my aunt. Let me tell you, I do not like women in power or single motherhood. It is socially damaging for men attempting to be men freely.

There are times, when I told my mother to stop the fucking shit she is doing. Women do not know what they're doing, sometimes. Especially, what the fuck she did is offensive. My mother is a domineering cunt. I have more than once told her to cut the shit. It wasn't meant in a disrespectful way. It was meant to nip it in the bud as a man. As you know, my mother has a screaming fit, told me off, saying," I'm the parent, I demand respect!"

I had enough of her shit. I went from manly firm to rage. She got scared of her life.

And the next day or week later, she is still a domineering cunt.

I still love her, but this bitch never fucking learn anything. She still fights with me. Some women do not deserve to live as a mother.

And let me tell you, I am more masculine every day.

For one thing, I remember growing up watch any thing male.

For example, I watched Bonanza, a show on cowboys. It was fun. But for some reason it didn't feel mgtow enough or alpha enough. Sometime that show feels it has oneitis. It was fun to watch, though. All the fighting. Punching, yelling. For what's right, I suppose.

There are many forms of masculinity. (Look up, The Way of Men by Jack Donovan, it's pretty interesting.)

There are very few shows (and movies) that are openly masculine, as a man. Recently, I have categorize movies and shows that I have as MGTOW/MASCULINE films.

For instance, one of the classic movie is The Gladiator. It's very masculine. And somewhat mgtow. It's very good lesson. In masculine movies you can study it.

But don't forget the books, too!

One of the oldest book around is the Bible. It has many redpill stories. Sometimes more Mgtow stories than redpill. It is also chilling up your spine, when reading deeper.

And there are other books. Find them. I have list of suggestions, if you like.

Seriously. Hanging around with women after this many years will fuck up your mind. Their advice has female perspectives that don't work in many situations, when required for it. Unless it's skillsets, do not listen to their advice on relationships. Their advice on relationships are a fuck up.

For me, women are a fuck up. I never hate them. But I dislike the fuck out of them.

pmmeweirdfruit · 2018-11-16T02:56:07+00:00

The most liberating aspect of life is when you learn to not give a flying fuck what others think of you. Not an excuse to go around acting like an asshole, but the less time you dedicate to looking or interacting a certain way is more time to spend on genuine self reflection. Learn to love the positive aspects of who you are and happiness will be much easier to hold on to. Also remember that there is no set way to be a man, a man who is aware of his emotions is a man who is in a healthy emotional state, that means you are less likely to be emotionally manipulated by a woman, and as a result more likely to experience a stress free life.

suhmydudessssss · 2018-11-15T16:02:09+00:00

Honestly bro, have you thought about the military? It's a great place to learn work ethic and thrive in your masculinity, especially if you want to do something combat related. Men need some danger in their lives

There's a whole lot of stuff you can do as well, just explore your masculinity and don't give a fuck what women think. Start running with your shirt off, stop doing make up, dress how you want to dress. You'll eventually become comfortable with yourself. Also lift and stop being an emotional bitch bro, I believe in you.

Cursedpurpose · 2018-11-15T16:39:44+00:00

Embrace pain. Take cold showers. Fall down a few times and get back up. Hammer some nails in a board. Get some callouses on your hands. Run 100 yard dashes as fast as you possibly can until you feel like you are literally going to die. Learn how to pitch a baseball. Go to some batting cages and let yourself get hit (start slow). Get a pocketknife and sharpen the edge of a stick into a spear. Work on deepening your voice and getting comfortable with just being heard. Imitate masculine body language and fix your posture.

This stuff will not kill you, it will make you stronger. I'd also recommend watching the movie Fight Club, but keep things in perspective. Another good one is 300. Internalize the masculine virtues of courage, honor, and loyalty.

bouldurer · 2018-11-15T17:35:00+00:00

Be the man that you wished you had when growing up.

Azriel_Constant · 2018-11-15T18:13:01+00:00

Exercise. But do something that will make you sweat and work. Exercise is a proven way to boost/regulate your testosterone levels. It can also give you some confidence

Snakerspug · 2018-11-15T19:26:20+00:00

join a martial arts gym - jujitsu or muay thai is pretty popular, no problems finding a good local gym. Usually you can find some masculine role models at gyms. Going to meetups for things that interest you can also help with finding people to talk to. Humans mimic and copy each other, so try to find a good, masculine role model you can imitate and read a lot of books to develop individual ideas rather than subscribing to a herd mentality. There's a lot of good books out there with very masculine ideas you can absorb.

Black-Goku69 · 2018-11-15T23:10:50+00:00

Bro I can definitely relate. I was raised by women all my life. My mom and 2 sisters. My father wasn't in my life at all. I was literally in the same shoes as you. Luckily I was born with a very adventures and defiant spirit as a boy. I was always a fighter so to speak. I got bullied a lot as well but I always stood up to them and faught back. I always did what I wanted to do even if it meant I'd be grounded. So I'd say I kinda found my masculinity from my experiences as a young boy.

My advice to you is to Express yourself bro. Curse when your mad, punch something when your angry. Do what you can to release your anger/frustration. I know you said you never really liked contact sports but dont knock it till you try it. Find a sport team and join it. There's almost no better way to feel more secure in your masculinity than being around a group of men who you bleed and sweat with. After all, you are who you surround yourself with. For example, joining a mma gym was greatly beneficial for me. I did so at 18 and have been training since. If you wanna feel more secure in your masculinity than you'll have to continue doing things that make you feel masculine. Ive never been so confident than when I train mma. Not because I think I can beat anybody..but because I'm confident in my skills, I'm in great shape, etc.

Explore yourself bro. Find what makes you feel masculine. Learn new skills. Push yourself to your breaking point.

Hijo-De-Puta · 2018-11-16T00:37:03+00:00

seriously nobody in this thread is acknowledging this guy was legit abused and telling him to heal himself? Don't nosedive to your doom OP, small steps, but keep stepping. And sooner rather than later you will be a real rootsteppa.

shit-zen-giggles · 2018-11-16T02:15:57+00:00

I literally have no interests or hobbies because of how i was raised.

Start reading. Read great man's works. Take a look at /r/mgtowbooks to get an idea.

I'd recommend the stoic Markus Aurelius. That might help you with developing your character.

also Estar Villar's "the manipulated men" (audiobook on youtube)

Rock climbing might be a sport that interests you (start indoors at a climbing hall/center). It's no-contact and makes you stronger without making (or requiring) you super bulky. It helps you improve your fear management. Finally you need a partner and it can be a great opportunity to travel together.

mR__bLuEsKy · 2018-11-15T20:05:12+00:00

You should start rowing, great way to get in shape and very relaxing actually.

Snakerspug · 2018-11-15T23:03:28+00:00

Lotta good advice here already. Simply I'd add, contact your local unions and find out what trade apprenticeships are available and desired in your area. Avoid anything too physically taxing because you'll probably regret doing it until your 70. Electrician, plumber and HVAC are all good choices because you usually need the ticket to do the work, aka no cowboys. Eg, My dad's a ticketed house painter and I offsided him a lot as a kid and have painted a few houses on my own without my painters union ticket.

For manliness, start with three months jiu jitsu, 3x per week. Ideally do the 2 years to get your blue belt. It's mostly men (all men at some gyms I've been to) and you'll learn how to defend yourself. If someone is being aggressive or dominating to you, you can tell them to go away knowing that should a fight happen you have a plan.

Have a look at the Leanfire / fire path to retirement. Basically earn, live frugally, save and invest for early retirement. I don't see it as early retirement more the freedom to do what you want without work obligations. A friend has FIRE'd and got into programming as a hobby which lead to another job that makes him even more money but all on his terms.

its_meKnightSwolaire · 2018-11-16T00:34:44+00:00

Cliche red pill advice is best here. Start lifting. You need to see gains, ASAP

cleats4u · 2018-11-16T01:00:15+00:00

Pick a man that you think is a man you would like to be. It could be Captain Piccard of the Starship Enterprise or Bruce Lee. It could be General Patton or hell even...Donald Trump or Bill Clinton. Study those men and their character. Read, watch TV and find out everything you can about those men. And then act how you think they would act. Be how you think they would be. React how you think they would react. It's called fake it until you make it. Don't try to be Bruce Lee unless you have taken Karate. You might get your ass kicked...just sayin!

Migtaosammich · 2018-11-16T04:54:10+00:00

Someone: a real man would x.

You: a real man doesn't give a fuck what u think.

But don't say it with words. Say it with your 'dont give AF what u think' attitude.

Mchooofer · 2018-11-15T19:36:01+00:00

Watch fight club. Stop jacking off to Porn. And look inside. You can save a lot of time being looking inside in stillness - some call it meditation. Meditation is the most important thing.

Blissbynature · 2018-11-16T03:22:16+00:00

Here's my 2 cents. You're male so you're a badass by nature. Don't use porn and don't masturbate. This is key to expressing masculine power and magnetism. There is controversy and antagonism towards nofap (or brahmacharya) but that is because it is true.

Also, keep your body fit with proper diet and exercise. And keep your mind fit with meditation and study of worthy subjects. Body and mind both have the same basic rules. Keep the garbage out. Put the good fuel in. Give them discipline.

Do these things and the natural masculine badass that is you will doubtless emerge.

lonewolfsigma8917 · 2018-11-15T16:30:35+00:00

Learn MMA literally it brings our your instincts wgen you learn through PAIN, its great teacher, it humbles and disciplines guys in a way that no other thing could. Learn Muay Thai ,if there are any MMA gyms in your town. Or any other martial arts, after that, along with your white collar job (if you wanna pursue with a lot of cunts). Ibwould suggest you to serve in military, especially Special Forces (if you develop your physical and mental strength and determination) or as a regular soldier for just 3 years & then join a PMC, where no fucking cunt would bother you. It is a MANOSPHERE (Blackwater and others).

DeFrikkah · 2018-11-15T20:39:09+00:00

Try NoFap and develop yourself physically and spiritually by exercising and for example reading and doing daily meditation. If you fail once, try again. Learn from your mistakes; what you know is wrong for your body and/or spirit. Set goals, but take small steps. Aim high long-term, but aim reasonably low for each day. Small improvements per day will result in big changes long-term. Always make your own mind up with your rational. Verify the arguments of others for yourself. Get comfortable with short-term discomfort.

Title	How do feel more secure with my masculinity?
Author	Snakerspug
Upvotes	60
Comments	92
Date	November 15, 2018 3:15 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/9xc1b1/how_do_feel_more_secure_with_my_masculinity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/how-do-feel-more-secure-with-my-masculinity.458825 https://theredarchive.com/post/458825

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