Summary: Major changes cannot occur without constant incremental improvements. Expecting quick results is a significant impediment to achieving the proper mentality. Noteworthy results are a bi-product of achieving small goals.
Body: The true marker of success for anyone undertaking a journey of self-improvement is waking up every single day knowing that you are the strongest, best looking, smartest, most skilled, most socially apt, and most financially secure you have ever been.
Beginning with an obvious example, nobody can walk into the gym for the first time, rack up 315lbs., and squat it 3×8 times. This is achieved over the course of months or years through a highly regimented plan which balances lifting, diet, and rest. Say instead you start with a plan to eat clean and get eight hours of sleep per night; each of these building blocks to succeeding in the gym are an achievement on their own. Now when you hit the gym you're naturally more invested in the outcome of following your routine by virtue of creating a lifestyle change in support of improving your lifts. You start with a modest weight in order to perfect your form, and slowly sculpt your ideal physique by incrementally adding weight and reps. If life deals you a shitty hand and you lose strength due to illness or forced time away from the gym, your dedication to diet and rest will propel you back to baseline once you can get back at it.
I firmly believe that this approach to all areas of self-improvement is the key to making major, lasting progress and, more importantly, preventing backslides. Becoming fully invested in yourself is a natural result of supplementing your major goals with small behavioral changes intended to further your progress in your long-term endeavors. Negativity, bitching, and dick measuring are simply not an option when you are deeply invested in your own journey. Likewise, a more elusive result of relentless self-investment, which is nearly impossible to achieve on its own, is the formation of a strong frame. As calluses are to lifting, frame is to dedication to a well-developed plan for self-improvement.
Take another example, improving socially by "gaming" everyone. You can start right away by walking up to a stranger and telling them they have a cute dog or asking them a question to spur a conversation. Imagine now that you have your physique, body language, style, and grooming on point. Now ask yourself how much more receptive they will be to either of the aforementioned openers than they would be in the absence of such a coordinated appearance. Even if you're not all that witty or sincere, your attempt at starting the interaction will be more sincerely reciprocated due solely to your presentation. Improving your social skills under these conditions is a much easier task than if you set out to do so without effort on the front-end. This isn't to say you should wait until you've achieved endgame appearance before doing something as benign as speaking to strangers, but is instead meant to demonstrate the value of supplementing social improvement with seemingly less relevant behaviors.
Conclusion: The essence of laying one brick at a time is creating a strong foundation upon which you can build whatever life you desire with unwavering conviction. In my opinion, there is no better way to create positive feedback loops and achieve nearly endless improvement than constantly making small improvements with a long-term goal in mind.
Get out there and kick ass, but make sure your shoes are tied first.
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