Betrayal - Thinking of Leaving my Wife

OneBrowUp · 2018-06-16T11:38:25+00:00

Well I'm not judging you because I'm no better, but let's put it straight - you're the one who's doing the betrayal and trying to find an excuse to leave your wife and continue banging other women. I get it, really. But realize this, you don't need an excuse, closure, thumbs up from her, us or anybody. If you want to do it, do it, but consult with lawyer first, make sure it's worth it and be aware that it will be hard for you to find some quality women for any kind of LTR or build a new family if you're into it.

nhlfod21 · 2018-06-16T11:52:32+00:00

Since you are considering leaving anyway you now have nothing to lose by redefining yourself in this relationship and seeing what change you can affect. You don't like your wife barking at you? Do not allow it anymore. Explain to your wife that you will not engage her at all if she addresses you this way. Then fucking mean it. The dynamic will change if you maintain frame. She will respect you more, then want to fuck you more. You have a perfect opportunity to become the alpha at home because the worst that can happen is that she filed for divorce, which you are already OK with. Put TRP to work in your current relationship and your wife will follow. The problem is you, not her.

Have you ever tried dominating your wife in bed? If not, how do you know she won't like it?

Blackhawk2479 · 2018-06-16T11:55:05+00:00

14 years of my complaints about our less than acceptable intimate life

News flash: you made it acceptable by marrying her and putting up with it. You need to shoulder pretty much all the responsibility for the situation you now find yourself in.

I’m not going to moralise but you need to think about your next steps carefully, especially if you are American or in America, because you’re likely to get royally fucked in divorce court.

[deleted] · 2018-06-16T11:56:15+00:00

don't let her use her abuse as an excuse. demand respectful communication, withhold time, attention, money if she doesn't comply. respect yourself, especially if she doesn't. I have a hard time seeing your labelling her past trauma as betrayal, that's kind of dramatic, and frankly, she's lived most of her life with that feeling of betrayal/abandonment- and where has it got her? don't mirror her. YOU set the frame. "women are like water, they take the shape of whatever vessel they're in". control frame. demand respect (especially in front of your child, or others). start hiding money. Lift. read some stoicism. learn how to Nuke her shit tests. DO NOT be empathy-trapped. you can And will Leave, but do not leave your home. if you own your home, leaving makes it far too easy for her to win it. next time she barks, head to the door, take your daughter and go buy a Chihuahua. look her dead in the eye, and say " if I have to hear barking all day and night, it should at least be from something cute that likes me". talk to a lawyer, consolidate and focus your finances. don't be held heart hostage by the heartless. you have better things to do.
- best of luck, amigo

justtenofusinhere · 2018-06-16T13:43:07+00:00

Do not leave to be with another woman. Which ever new woman you enter a relationship will also try to dominate and beta-fy you--it is their nature. You might get a year or two of her being submissive, but her desires will take over and you're back to the battle. You cannot escape the battle if you live with a woman.

If you want to leave to be by yourself, that's different. But, try that attitude now. Stop thinking of yourself as married. Instead, think of yourself as a single man, who lives with a woman you owe n othing to, but do occassionally fuck. See where that leads you.

[deleted] · 2018-06-16T14:00:11+00:00

Yeah, on your post to judge I think you are doing more wrong. Sorry pal

rocknrollchuck · 2018-06-16T14:17:47+00:00

You should crosspost this to AskMRP (Ask Married Red Pill).

[deleted] · 2018-06-16T11:38:04+00:00

You should start over at r/askMRP

But beware that you better be ready to take complete ownership of your situation and responsibility for resolving it.

Start here https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/82875i/cut_the_shit/

ManguZa · 2018-06-16T11:57:47+00:00

You already know your anwser but you're afraid to assume it. There is only one decision you won't end up regretting.

sadomasochrist · 2018-06-16T13:45:38+00:00

She (46):

Her parents have a bad relationship they bark at each other instead of speaking and she has adopted that as her preferred method of communication with me. Her communication style tries to box me into being a beta and I was.... Her father offered retail credit and had a dentist who owed him money, they bartered dentist services in exchange for the debt and procedure to extract teeth from my wife when she was young completely screwing up her mouth. This resulted in what she perceives is a bad smile so she doesn't smile and also therefore rarely laughs. When she was 4 her uncle raped or fondled her in her bedroom while her parents were outside on their balcony she could hear them speaking, she didn't; understand why her father didn't protect her. She waited until our 15th year of marriage to reveal this event to me notwithstanding 14 years of my complaints about our less than acceptable intimate life.

You : Captain save a ho.

Me (48):

My relationship with my father was problematic from the start and still is, he is an irrational twat. I detest his style of communication and vowed to never be like him.

https://therationalmale.com/2012/11/21/promise-keepers/

My first girlfriend to whom I lost my virginity to cheated on me horribly and that scared my sense of security and trust in women. This resulted in significant insecurity associated with fidelity which can be oppressive, though this character flaw does not come out with my wife for some reason. While I have been always quite very active sexually as of late I have become more-so and have grown frustrated with our once a week Sunday morning missionary romp.

You : Codependent

My profession requires me to travel frequently and I took advantage of that to date girls, maybe 10 of them over this period. One girl I have seen more frequently and we have started down a path of sexual exploration, BDSM, MFM, FMFM and more. This experience has significantly altered the makeup of my desire for sex wanting kinkier coital relations, something my wife has clearly stated she is not interested in. I have also learned most enjoyable sex is when I am completely dominating my partner physically and verbally (dom/sub) which is something that clashes violently with my wife's experience as a child. Dating outside of my marriage has completely turned me into an Alpha further raising the level of incompatibility my wifes typical communication style is with me.

Pretty sure this is an attempt at a deep troll from side blue. This reminds me of a post in relationships about a woman who was using keeping a secret about business finances a secret from her as the reason for an affair.

Either way, you, troll or not, in the terms of this post, are self rationalizing.

Want to cheat on your wife? Own it.

You cheat on your wife because she doesn't make you happy and don't care if you're going to lose her. Not because it evens the score in your head, that's serious female bullshit. Same exact stuff a woman does. Husband makes her angry, blows some guy and calls it even in her head just so she feels like she's still in control.

My biggest concern is our daughter, I don't want to hurt her or derail her progression socially or academically she loves us both and likely has no idea I might be leaving though I am convinced my wife knows something is up. As a couple we rarely yell or scream at each other so my daughter is more than likely blissfully unaware. At the end of the day my marriage isn't horrible but there is a malaise that is soaking deep into it now and I don't know I want to continue with it.

You're weak and if you want something to actually benefit your daughter, own your actions and set boundaries with your wife.

Default to actual MRP alum about where you're at in steps of dread. But what is clear as day is a codependent trying to set the terms of the deal, negotiate attraction, who is afraid of real dread and passing the buck to your wife for your own failings and lack of self assurance.

And lastly, FYI, you never, live your marriage "for the kids." It doesn't work, the studies show it. Your marriage must improve if you want this "for the kids" and that doesn't even mean being faithful.

It just means, literally, that she wants to fuck you. That's it.

Tingles uber alles and the rest flows from that. So unless she wants to fuck you, your game is over.

GayLubeOil · 2018-06-16T15:05:16+00:00

Your wife's molestation story is very very convenient. You had her cornered like a rat. She couldn't dispute the facts so what does she do? Invent a bullshit story in an effort to guilt her way out. That's why it took her 15 years lol. Then you belived her 100%

Here's the angle. Keep in mind that the Red Pill doesn't function on a horizontal beta male slave morality your accustomed to so this will be a lil different.

Start pushing this fester the molester uncle angle cuz your really concerned or whatever. We all know it didn't happen. Buy who cares. Keep her psychologically distracted.

Use that as cover to keep going to your MMM BDSM threesomes or whatever you seem to like that. Meanwhile start moving your money out of the United States. Start figuring out careers you can pursue in Russia or China you know countries that don't extradite.

This marriage is gunna burn in flames. So either you disappear abroad or you take your BDSM rape fetish to the ultimate level and take Uncle Sam's big black cock in your ass.

Which one is it gunna be?

I'm gunna be on # 2 cuz that's your fetish.

Genex44 · Sat Jun 16 10:35:07 2018 UTC

You've cheated multiple times. Yes, you need to break it off...

remote_outpost · 2018-06-16T11:51:21+00:00

First, I’m a guy. Second, a real man NEVER leaves, especially when children are involved. This is my house. I don’t leave my house.

A real man never cheats.

Not to mention that you’ll get divorce raped, and have the honor of paying for your ex wife to go on dates and find a replacement husband for her and father for your daughter.

Why do you give a shit that she was molested? You’re treating her like she’s damaged goods, but it’s not her fault. It’s not like she cheated on you while you were dating and you’re just now finding out about it. I bet if you dig enough there is plenty of shit you haven’t told her.

Outside of that, she has baggage from her childhood, but so do you.

Title	Betrayal - Thinking of Leaving my Wife
Author	TheGlobalDeep
Upvotes	0
Comments	21
Date	June 16, 2018 10:29 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/8rijv0/betrayal_thinking_of_leaving_my_wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/betrayal-thinking-of-leaving-my-wife.50868 https://theredarchive.com/post/50868

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