MGTOW/redpill jokes

goodbeertimes · 2017-11-09T17:18:29+00:00

The woman kept complaining about every little detail and making the trip unbearable.

But a few days before their vacation ended, a tragic accident ended the woman’s life. The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150 or we can have her shipped back home for $5,000.”

The husband thought about it for a few seconds, then told the undertaker he would have her shipped back home.

“Why would you spend $5,000 to have her shipped home when you could have a beautiful burial here in Jerusalem, and it would only cost $150?!” the undertaker asked, taken aback.

The husband replied, “Long ago, a man died here, was buried here, and three days later, rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance!”

goodbeertimes · 2017-11-09T17:17:10+00:00

A wife is like a hand grenade. Take off the ring and say goodbye to your house

goodbeertimes · 2017-11-09T17:21:04+00:00

Question: Is Google a boy or a girl ?

Answer:

Google is a Girl because it won't let you complete the whole sentence and starts guessing, suggesting and you ask only one question, but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...

Additionally Google constantly wants to know your location

genxer79 · 2017-11-09T18:00:37+00:00

My wife said that if all political leaders were female, there’d be no more wars. I said “you’re right. War requires strategy and logic.”

dogwoodcat · 2017-11-09T17:47:09+00:00

Women are like hurricanes: when they come they're wet and wild, when they leave they take your house and car, replacing them with bills and paperwork.

mu_mikami · 2017-11-09T21:02:06+00:00

a wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get the fuck out. as he walked to the door, she yelled "and i hope you die a long, slow and very painful death". he turned around and said: "so, you want me to fucking stay?"

kowbrandt · 2017-11-09T22:48:06+00:00

A blind man walks past a fish market and says "hello ladies"

delta9mm · 2017-11-09T17:15:38+00:00

3 words: "My Wife's Son"

abaxeron · 2017-11-09T17:56:37+00:00

Rather cruel one:

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? - "Glad to see you're happy with your new man, honey".

Nobody-Zero · 2017-11-10T01:08:00+00:00

A joke I heard on TFM: What's the only thing easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women.

steelfil666 · 2017-11-09T22:37:32+00:00

Why women fake orgasm? They think we care.

Onkel_Adolf · 2017-11-10T03:50:43+00:00

Why is it called 'PMS'?

-Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.

801735 · 2017-11-09T17:12:34+00:00

Marriage.

Three-Legged-Fox · 2017-11-09T22:20:58+00:00

"I never knew what true happiness was until I got married but then it was too late"

Attributed to various people

stryfedafantam · 2017-11-09T20:32:39+00:00

John over at MGTOW is Freedom on youtube (RIP his channel) made a video full of MGTOW jokes. My fave is the one about the woman who had to pick a husband and the higher she went on the floor of a building, the better the potential mate was for her. He tells it better than I can type it. Give it a listen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCrYICOxqbw

imthewiseguy · 2017-11-10T05:45:09+00:00

What's the difference between a man and a woman?

A man will always have the same dick between his legs

ergo_concordantly · 2017-11-09T20:06:37+00:00

Man needs a woman, like a coffin needs a nail.

EdaBagaDix · 2017-11-10T06:16:43+00:00

Q: Why did god create women?

A: He couldn’t find sheep that could do windows.

Q: What do you do if your wife asks you to fix her watch?

A: Tell her there’s a clock on the stove.

Q: Why do women have legs?

A : Cause if they didn’t then they’d leave snail trails.

Q: what’s the difference between a hooker, a girlfriend, and a wife?

A: a hooker says “Aren’t you done yet?” A girlfriend says “you’re done already?” And a wife says “There’s crack in the ceiling paint.”

Hanz-grubert · 2017-11-10T23:53:41+00:00

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive?

Cuz she was a woman

abaxeron · 2017-11-10T11:45:45+00:00

Delivered from /r/dank_meme

It's a trap! It's a trap!!!

Title	MGTOW/redpill jokes
Author	lafingman0
Upvotes	62
Comments	38
Date	November 9, 2017 5:11 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/7buorc/mgtowredpill_jokes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/mgtowredpill-jokes.538105 https://theredarchive.com/post/538105

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