When is it not One-Itis?

tb87670 · 2016-02-05T08:22:33+00:00

Every single woman I meet I get that feeling of one-itis at least for a bit. I think it's just natural to men. We make chemicals that make us want to protect our mate. The more I follow what I learned on TRP the more I ignore that, but it occasionally still mind-fucks me when I'm alone sometimes and think on it too much. This doesn't even mention the years of indoctrination I had since I was a child by my mother, aunts, media and Hollywood. Luckily my father was purple pill or I would have never stood a chance, and now he's getting into his older years he is turning hard red as he becomes a sour old rooster but he is still happily married to my mom. Why? I still think we developed a cocktail of hormones that makes us want to stay with the mate. He even admits if he builds a cabin in the woods and gets a divorce he would be happier. But he doesn't. The two of them are still loyal to each other to this day.

Nowadays due to lack of social and moral inhibitions you cannot expect loyalty from any woman. This is why this natural urge to protect your mate has to be ignored. This is why even if it hurts you must recognize it for what it is and realize that women are by design going to cheat the moment you are not number 1 in their eyes. Women will not get better until the leftists, liberals, progressives, and feminists are exiled or otherwise removed from all power and penalties put in place for their destructive feminist/shitlord behavior.

depedestalize_it · 2016-02-05T16:56:10+00:00

It isn't about 'breaking frame' or 'running patterns' or 'following Alpha J-Diddly Dawg's 8 Golden Rules of Red Pill Female Mind-Fuckery.' It isn't about "Well, was that shit I just took an Alpha shit or a beta shit? How should I piss like an Alpha?" And it isn't about whether you have 10,000 women, or just 1. Ultimately, it's about BEING WHO YOU ARE, AND STAYING TRUE TO YOURSELF.

Yes. I would like to add that sometimes, being Alpha entails admitting you've made a mistake and/or changing your opinion on something. I get the feeling that lots of people think that being Alpha means to stick to something you've said no matter what. That's not Alpha. That's pathetic.

Being able to admit you were wrong is important. No, I don't mean lightly changing your convictions every other day. Just admitting that you have reevaluated a situation and come to a different conclusion than before.

always-be-closing · 2016-02-05T02:21:53+00:00

The reason it's "one-itis", is to draw an analogy with various pathologies of inflammation that are characterized by inflammation:

arthritis

bronchitis

sinusitis, etc.

The point of calling it "one-itis" is to point out that it's an affliction that a man is suffering - - - just as not every inflammation is desirable though it is a natural response with a purpose, not every feeling of emotional attachment to a woman is desirable even though there's a biological basis for it.

Suppose for a moment it were not the case that men felt attachment to the women they had sex with - - anymore than they feel an emotional attachment to their semen.

Desirous of releasing it and having sex - - but it's not like they'd cling to women any more than their own semen.

Suppose that's so: In nature, what happens?

Okay; so now you've got pregnant human mammals who are useless at running, fighting, hunting, etc. in comparison to the male already, who are now incredibly vulnerable and weak and literally carrying the offspring of the man.

His immortality, his renewal.

Surprise surprise: Sexually reproducing species almost all have the males of the species not usually interact with the females of the species on the grounds of violent competition like they will other males, and will almost all have the males of the species even feel compelled to look out for the females welfare.

Does it mean there's monogamy among lions?

Does it mean no male wolf has ever eaten a female one after killing it because it snapped at him the wrong way?

Of course not, of course not.

What it does mean, is that men are hardwired to take care of and be attached to the women they intend to impregnate, have potentially impregnated or have already impregnated.

This is just how it is.

But is this natural response warranted?

Is every fever (part of your immune response) and every inflammatory response warranted?

Always helpful? always a net benefit to your health? Of course not.

Is feeling pain from rheumatoid arthritis actually beneficial? Not really, no.

So what's someone to do?

If the fever and inflammation you get when your body is fighting an infection is something you should be thankful for, because having an immune system is good...

...but some inflammation is a pathology and is simply you having pain caused unduly: what you have to do is learn to identify the source of the pain.

It's perfectly reasonable to feel invested in, worried about losing, pain over the loss of a good woman.

TRP-sad-truth: The overwhelming majority of women are not good women.

Decent women, acceptable women, tolerable women, useless women, harmful women - - these abound in the West.

Good women?

Women worth committing to? Women worth exclusivity? Women worth sealing yourself off from other women? Worth limiting your independence to act with as a pair? Almost nonexistent.

So; the point:

Ask yourself when you feel pain over a woman:

1) Is/was she providing value to my life ?

2) Is/was she committed to a future with me ?

3) Is/was she doing so even though I'm replaceable ?

4) Is/was she replaceable for what value she added ?

If a woman isn't an exclusive sexual partner, someone whom you share a deep personal history with, someone who simplifies your life logistically (sex, laundry, food, chores), and someone who would be capable of serving you even as she lost her sexual appeal....

....Then she's probably just a decent woman, or a tolerable woman, and not a good woman.

And the pain you feel over her is not legitimate, is not something that should prompt you to change your behavior.

It is one-itis and you need to go find a 19 year old on Tinder.

toneroma · 2016-02-05T18:52:41+00:00

The second to last girl I called my girlfriend was basically the result of the following:

I start fucking this girl, and the sex is good and becomes more frequent.

She decides she wants to be my girlfriend.

I tell her that that's fine but that the second I get tired of her shit, we are done.

I proceed to not treat her any differently than I did before.

She starts to annoy me, so I drop her.

So yeah, no oneitis there. The relationship was just convenient to me, I suppose. That said, I was in a downward spiral at the time due to oneitis for another girl which had the bizarre side-effect of making me seem more alpha to women who weren't her.

I won't lie - I tend to have some degree of oneitis for someone at any given time (this kind of destroyed me, so I'm working on it even harder now). Fortunately, I've learned how to leverage that if I'm not currently with oneitis girl to get more sex out of other women.

This might make me a bad person, but I never pretend to care about them, either.

NeoreactionSafe · 2016-02-05T22:37:00+00:00

BEING WHO YOU ARE, AND STAYING TRUE TO YOURSELF.

The problem is that a Red Pill man is capable of knowing "who he is" because he has the solid Frame. (ego boundry)

MGTOW means "Men Going Their Own Way" which means they have a solid Frame. (but says nothing of having any Game)

So the problem for the beta is that he doesn't know where the outside world ends and he begins.

He has no boundry.

The beta is a slave... and so he needs others to define his happiness which in virtually every case means attachment to something stronger than himself.

The beta has Oneitis because he is recreating "Mommy".

The beta is a motherfucker in his mind... he can't think otherwise.

So the first task is to Kill the Beta so that he actually can begin to know of himself and to begin to improve.

Onetis and beta go together. You can't be free of the tendencies towards Oneitis until you formally outgrow the beta mindset.

rigbyismyhomie · 2016-02-05T01:58:34+00:00

While your analysis is not wrong, I do think it's a little wordy. When it comes to LTRs, doesn't this come down to a simple question:

"If you leave her, will you be okay?"

BlackPhoenix01 · 2016-02-05T10:41:01+00:00

It's called One-itis because you think she's the 'one'. As a victim of this phenomenon, I am slowly coming to terms that I can like and respect a woman for who she exactly is: a flawed human being, just like you and me, not this angel descended from heaven who farts rainbows.

pcadrian · 2016-02-05T18:44:31+00:00

Oneitis is when a man loses all respect for himself, abandons his boundaries, friends, and drops his goals in the blink of an eye because a woman asks him to. He becomes dependent on her for happiness.

Everything else is just being in love. You can love a woman very deeply and still respect yourself enough that you can walk away from a situation that is no longer healthy or beneficial to you. Sure it might hurt, but you can do it.

There was recently a great post where OP asked himself "could I leave her right now and be OK".

htbf · 2016-02-05T11:41:59+00:00

polyamorous

I downvoted just because you used this nonsense.

aherne18 · 2016-02-05T19:26:21+00:00

There are two types of oneitises:

99% targeted at whomever gave you slightest attention / sex. Desperate men will think they are in love and guard their whores, but it's just an act of absolute hamstering against their perceived lack of value and the impending loneliness after being left. In a few words, they think they have no chance outside the "chosen" one!

1% targeted at women that make a hormonal match with you (they produce wild tingles). You are obsessed of her because that's what your dick decides and your dick/tingles should be your highest authority whenever you want to fuck. It's a positive form of oneitis, because it drives you to have her (for sex and domination) and generally (but not always) infects the recipient as well. When things end, you are left with a good memory and you will use her image as a benchmark for future relationships...

boundlessmind8 · 2016-02-05T21:04:14+00:00

When you make bullshit excuses as to why you can't dump her this exact moment. It's like smokers who say they want to quit, but "just don't want to" even though you just heard them bitching about how quitting is hard.

Gunnilingus · 2016-02-10T07:28:15+00:00

I think the assertion that all LTRs involve one-itis is a idea rooted in a blue-pill frame of mind; it implies that an LTR inherently involves a man sacrificing all or part of his agency to a woman. I recently became engaged to a Honduran woman, while I was living there. I'm now back in the states, alone, while she waits for her visa paperwork to come through. I'm fully confident that she'll remain faithful while she waits, and of course anything else would be unacceptable to me. However, in her own words, "I don't care if you fuck other women while we're apart; the only thing I'm afraid of is that you'll fall in love with one." She knows that it's unreasonable for her to expect me to be celibate for any reason, and she knows that she can't fulfill my sexual needs while we're on separate continents. She understands that a woman that only gets my dick and nothing else isn't taking anything valuable from her. She also understands that by accepting that I'll fulfill my needs, she can fulfill her principal need: my continuing commitment. She knows that demanding I be celibate while I wait for her is not an option I'd be willing to entertain.

Done right, an LTR fulfills all your needs and adds an emotional intimacy that you can't get with plates. Men aren't as emotionally needy as women, but unless you're a psychopath, you can't really be fully self-actualized without emotional intimacy. If you've got high SMV and rock-solid frame, you can develop an LTR where you sacrifice nothing and gain that emotional intimacy.

That said, you'd better get it right, because the risks are much higher than spinning plates.

OBOllie3003 · 2016-02-05T02:01:24+00:00

When a man says he's in a committed relationship, he isn't always a beta or suffering from one-itis. So don't assume these things as soon as he mentions his girlfriend or wife.

I don't care what my buddies do. This is TRP and many men here aren't interested in an LTR. It doesn't mean you shouldn't have one, or anyone shouldnt, it's just the majority opinion here.

another_lease · 2016-02-05T23:11:08+00:00

When he thinks more about her than he works on his goals.

TheMGhandi · 2016-02-06T00:31:58+00:00

There's no need to project your insecurities with LTRs here.

Also, if something is paradise, chances are you're less likely to leave it.

Even though you seem to have a backbone, I assume your gf gaslights you in the non destructive manner. That's MY interpretation based on your post. And this gives her a lot of power in your relationship.

Title	When is it not One-Itis?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	13
Comments	32
Date	February 5, 2016 1:43 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/448kkl/when_is_it_not_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/when-is-it-not-one-itis.55965 https://theredarchive.com/post/55965

Comments

So; the point: