I'm trying to lose weight to improve my life, but I feel that I'm trapped because I like to unwind a lot. When I get home from work I wanna sit around and have a tasty meal. If I'm overwhelmed or frustrated with a task/problem I like an unhealthy comfort meal. When I achieve something I also like an unhealthy reward meal. On weekends I hate eating at home because I like being out and I don't like paying to eat boring. I also don't like being cooped up so eating out is something to do. And every night before I go to bed i get motivated to do better the next day, but as soon as I wake up all my mind can think about is all the work I have to do that day and how the hell can I get through all that without a comfort food as a reward or benchmark? I waste a lot of food. I made chicken and rice but have niot eaten it. I went to Wawa. When i start the day with an unhealthy food my mind thinks the day is contaminated and will insist to eat unhealthy throughout the day. And if a weekend is approaching my mind will say just start Monday. Weekends are about fun eating. Tomorrow my company is having a BBQ and there's no way I can pass that up. After all it's not everyday we have a BBQ and I'm the one cooking. That means come nighttime I'll rationalize not to eat the chicken and rice because 1) you had BBQ, and 2) it's Friday. I also don't see the reason to exercise when I ate a high calorie food because it's inconvient for no reward since you can't out-exercise your fork. At my my best I can burn 400-700 calories on the elliptical. I hate this feeling. I'm not even in competent when trying to focus on planning meals. This nebulous comprehensive feeling comes my way. Anyone understand what I'm talking about?
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