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Rollo Tomassi's Plate Theory

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April 23, 2016
240 upvotes

If you haven't yet taken a look at Rollo's series on Plate Theory, it's an absolutely Must Read for anybody invested in working on their own sexual strategy.

Below are a list of articles and choice excerpts:

Plate Theory

The Cardinal Rule of Relationships In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

When a man spins more plates, when he has irons in the fire, when he is pursuing multiple women simultaneously, when he has options equally worth exploring, a man will have a natural, subconscious (but not exclusively) understanding that if one prospect does not expand, others very well may. This understanding has manifestations in a man’s behavior that women key on covertly. There are mannerisms and attitudes that a man with options will subconsciously convey to prospective women that they interpret, and give this man a value as a commodity to be competed for with other females.

Plate Theory II: Non-Exclusivity

Monogamy is a byproduct, not a goal.

One of the biggest hurdles guys have with Plate Theory is breaking themselves of this ‘LTR-as-Goal’ mentality. Obviously I’m not anti-monogamy, however monogamy should never be a goal, it should be a by-product of Plate Theory, but only when you’ve properly filtered through enough plates to understand how options play into confidence and controlling the frame. If a woman is unwilling to be non-exclusive with you (i.e. “she’ll leave me if I see other girls” fear) she isn’t a plate to spin. This seems counterintuitive to a guy with an LTR-As-Goal mentality and it is, but the guy who can fearlessly, and honestly stay above-board with his intent is the one who’ll be spinning more plates. Most guys (AFCs in particular) are deathly afraid of losing that ONE perfect girl and so never even attempt to spin more than one plate, much less have any others to compare her ‘perfection’ to in the first place. I’ve even seen PUAs do exactly this. They’re so impressed with the success of newly perfected techniques that they settle for the ONE ‘dream girl’ and find that their attentions become valueless to her because she perceives she is his only option for intimacy, his script gets flipped on him, and he gets marginalized. It’s not a failure in technique, but rather a failure in his mindset.

Plate Theory III: Transitioning

Men literally live and die according to their options, so it stands to reason they ought to entertain a prolonged period in their lives where they are open to exploring the most options they have access to while concurrently developing and improving themselves prior to making a commitment of this magnitude.

And this is precisely where most men fail. They buy into and internalize psychological social contrivances (i.e. ONEitis) that are little more than effective means of inculcating a self-expectation of accountability and liability to make this commitment, irrespective of maturity level or personal success (not simply financial success). The saddest ones, the AFC ones are the pitiable men who carry these contrivances into marriage and even old age without ever understanding that they had more potential which they squandered due to an inability to see past these contrivances and learn to be selective based on experience.

Plate Theory IV: Goal-State Monogamy

“I’m just not like that. I don’t want to be considered a playah. I could never do that to a woman. How can anyone be like that?”

This rationale is a common one and not limited just to AFCs. There are plenty of otherwise confident, positively masculine men who’d still think they owe it to women to allow them to set the frame of their relationships without any fear of competition anxiety. Players are men who’re dishonest – they are not spinning plates because they are isolating each plate independent of the other, and this goes back to logistics. Of course you can’t find time for anything else if all you do is try to coordinate each individual story with each plate for fear that they discover each other. The plate spinning Man has no need for this, because he NEVER IMPLIES EXCLUSIVITY TO ANY PLATE. Either they accept this or they’re not a plate to consider. Done in a frank, honest, yet indirect above-table way you will not be a ‘Player’ and you will establish yourself as Man who’s attention is worth competing for.

Plate Theory V: Lady’s Game

It is socially acceptable for a woman to blatantly spin plates.

Does this sound outrageous? While a woman who makes her sexual practices a bit too overt runs the risk of being perceived as a slut (which is dubious in this age as it is), most relatively attractive women covertly have a constant bullpen of starters ready to go to bat at any one time – these are also known as ‘Orbiters’. These are the attention providers, the “maybe” guys. And it makes little difference in terms of available options which she chooses at any given time, the very fact that she has five or six of them pursuing her is enough to boost her sense of self-worth, her social status within her same-gender peers, and give her the confidence to drop any one of her plates at a moments notice for any reason knowing that 2 or 3 more guys (or 20 more on facebook) stand ready to take his place, no questions asked and prepared rationalizations at the ready.

In addition, this practice is socially reinforced by women doing the same thing and the social conventions constructed to excuse the behavior. It’s the unspoken rule of a woman’s prerogative; she can always change her mind. This is a powerful tool for women – in any situation, if a woman doesn’t choose to be sexual it is necessarily forced (or obligated), even when it’s after the fact. Either the “Jerk” forced her, physically or emotionally, or she had thought she wanted to, but later reconsidered – it makes little difference. In all social situations the default is to side with the feminine, the “weaker sex” – women, from sympathy or empathy, and men, from a desire to eventually become intimate with them. Dalrock expertly describes this convention in his “Don’t hit me, I’m a girl” post.

Plate Theory VI: Abundance & Scarcity

By practicing Plate Theory, your mental attitude will be such (or should be such) that you will pass most shit test based simply on this practice. Abundance thinking is the root of Plate Theory. A lot has been written about approaching women (and really life in general) from a position of Abundance. People often make the mistake of assuming that having a wide variety of choices tends to cheapen the commodity, and to a degree this is accurate, but it also allows for a better, learned awareness of which choice amongst the pool is common and which is of higher quality.


Discuss


Post Information
Title Rollo Tomassi's Plate Theory
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 240
Comments 28
Date 23 April 2016 03:53 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/57955
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4g405h/rollo_tomassis_plate_theory/
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Comments

[–]grewapair29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy

In case you don't know where the term plate spinning came from, and how to do it, you spin plates by giving each one just enough attention to keep them going, but no more.

[–]Renaissancepirate15 points16 points  (4 children) | Copy

I like this format that your doing with the theory weekend. One thing, once the weekend is over could you make a post and link all of the reposted articles? That way, we can find all the new discussion in one place.

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

I like this format that your doing with the theory weekend. One thing, once the weekend is over could you make a post and link all of the reposted articles? That way, we can find all the new discussion in one place.

Even better- I'm going to link the discussions on the sidebar so we have more than just sidebar articles, we have discussions of them too!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for all this. Why isn't men aren't happy on the sidebar but in r/asktrp it is?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for all this. Idk if the other comment got deleted for me posting a link to asktrp but why isn't men aren't happy on the sidebar here?

[–]1bromyiqis90011 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

I always give this advice to my LTR and married friends. The few that listen notice improvement immediately.

The simple act of them joining a gym puts their woman on HIGH ALERT.

Comfort in anything is the enemy of greatness and more importantly happiness: your woman, your career, your routine.

Always be working on something to improve yourself, other women wanting you whether or not you ever plan to pursue another woman is imperative for you to have a fulfilling relationship.

[–]Fulp_Piction4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

The thing about having a good, feminine woman that you've decided to LTR is that she will do her best to make you comfortable. The more you give in and let yourself go, the more you start to get that feeling in your gut that it's just not right.

It's hard to say that humans are instinctively monogamous.

[–]Wel1080 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So true man. So so true. You fucking know it, deep in your gut. One day after such a great loving day and cute talk in bed. She leaves to go home, and you're like.... SHIT Lol

[–]ProspectiveQuant1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Shouldn't just being happy with the option to be alone always give you the subconscious effect of having options?...

[–]AnAbsoluteSith0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This is a good question. I always felt like enjoying my own company and not caring about whether she wanted to stay or not was power enough in itself. I guess it's a good back up for guys like us who can make that work. The one time I spun plates (3) was one of the most tiring periods in my life. Even though they all knew of each other it was still time consuming and exasperating. It didn't feel like it was worth the effort. Atm I'm trying to aim for a midway point: always having potentials lined up and going on dates every so often.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oneitis can be a dormant affliction that can afflict any man sooner or later.

[–]MonsieurSexe1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Everything makes sense, I understand where it's coming from but I just can't do it IRL.

I want to, but I don't enjoy pursuing sex with girls I'm gaming. I find myself have feelings for them 75% of the time.

I'm such a wimp.

Life could be so much easier if men and women were thinking the same way...

[–]kazaul9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

If it helps at all, I can't spin plates worth shit - and I do NOT have feelings the way most people do. Fact is plates are not something everyone is geared to. They're great for most men but it does not work for everyone.

I'm not quite in the same situation. I don't care if men or women or men think differently. It's inconsequential to me. A game. A pastime. But I cannot fuck anything that I just have to touch and talk to. It's just too cheap. The success rates are to high and I see anyone who falls for it as almost sub-human. Seriously, I knew it would happen. Why bother if it's almost guaranteed anyways?

My solution was to focus on LTR game, which I am far better geared for mentally. Find someone I like and toy with that as long as I can. Then, when it runs it course, dump and repeat. This appeals to me far more than 'regular' game.

Actually, I agree. You're a wimp. But not for the reasons you believe. It's because you haven't figured out who you are or how to overcome your issues. Maybe plate theory isn't your thing at all. Or maybe it's just what you need. But you don't seem to know whether it is or not. You're lost - and that is what RP is here to try to help you with.

Figure out what you need and use the tools at your disposal to pursue that. That requires stepping over your shadow and thinking it through. Objectively, not with excuses. The difference here is I know I can pursue 6+ women a month because I've tried it. And found it lacking. You don't seem to know. You've thrown the towel before even confirming the theory.

I don't mean that to be derogatory. It's just what I perceive reading your text. Figure yourself out. There is no shortcut.

[–]Wel1082 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I had the same issue. The way i countered it was to literally make a list of everything i wanted in a chick. It was my list, i came up with based on my needs and after reading here on TRP. Then i just apply it to chicks i meet. Does she fit my checklist? nope. Plate

[–]poopcasso2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can chose to stay here and chase your fantasy, a fantasy you already know doesn't exist. Or you can go outside what is now your comfort zone, and that means you have to change. Changing takes strength, and the fact you don't want to means you are weak, which is more reason to do it. It's hard work and it will build character and cultivate wisdom.

[–]mexaboy2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ooooo shit can I get behind nº II "monogamy is a byproduct, not a goal"!

I was firing Red Pill on all cylinders, spinning plates and doing daygame and nightgame and onlinegame and social circle and whatever more gamestyles you want, and I met this wonderful, sexy girl who seemed custom made for me! So what did I do? I kept spinning those plates, treated her like just another one, she was from another country anyway (~10 hour travel) so whatever.

Long story short, this girl is at or above my own SMV, I made it clear early on that I was fucking other girls, she pressured me into monogamy, I only caved in after a big fight and made it clear that she would have to come over almost weekly and she had to move in permanently within 6 months.

This girl is looking to upheaval her life in about 2 months to move into my city, thinks I shit gold bricks, and can't have enough of my cock.

Too good to be true? Maybe, but I didn't put a ring on it either. Let's see how she behaves....

Long story short? Milk that byproduct for all it's worth

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]mexaboy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Actually she kinda did already... Indirectly of course as girls are wont to do

[–]thor_away920 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Is plate spinning required to harbor these abundant mindsets or does it just help?

Usually if I'm thinking with scarcity I just go on Tinder and see all these chicks and realize there's more than I can chew

[–]dissentforall3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's near impossible to internalize something you haven't experienced. Even before I found redpill, I was following the teachings of Patrice O'Neal. Initially i was hung up on the morals of fucking multiple girls in a week or showing interest in one while talking to another. All it takes is once, to see how disconnected women are from the supposed narrative we were taught and how reassuring it feels to actually be able to pull multiple women. After that everything starts to flow and the women pick up on it, that confidence in having options and being able to next them at any time will cut down on their BS and stress you have from women.

Once you're really good at it, you can even mention in passing that you're going on dates with other women or won't be coming home on certain nights. At one point I was up to 5 different plates and they all knew there were other women but kept coming back. Two actually got competitive and started pushing for an LTR and would do things like bring me food or show up at my place late at night to fuck.

Do it in steps and build from there.

[–]Dio_Brando_Joestar0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

How did you acquire these plates ?

[–]dissentforall4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Various ways. One I met at a music event after I called out their (her and her friends) BS about being sapiosexual in front of about a dozen betas who were sucking up to them. By the end of the convo they grabbed my phone and put their numbers in. Another was a cousin of female friend that she introduced me to. 2 were from tinder and most of the others I got from connections in personal training or day game (cashiers at bookstores, girls at the bus terminal, etc). I had another along the way that enjoyed fucking me because and I quote "it makes it better knowing she would hate it" in regards to mutual acquaintance that disliked me (fat positivity feminist).

I must have got shot down 50 times at least in the process of obtaining them, sometimes it wasn't until they actually seen a display of IDGAF and unwavering confidence that I won them over on the 2nd or 3rd time meeting them.

You can never embrace abundance mentality without outcome independence. One feeds into the other until it becomes your natural state. Once you're there you can be more free with your outward expressions because other people will pick up on the sincerity of it. Do not be afraid to make a bold move. There's a reason the saying "Fortune favors the bold" exists.

[–]RedPoseidon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Internalizing abundance mentality is a product from having lots of plates spinning, for example;

If you are on a date with a girl, abundance mentality is when you know you have a plate already lined up for after the date, whereas you know regardless of what happens you will be getting laid tonight. This has a direct effect on your actions, as you don't need to pander to anyone to get what you want, and they (women) can sense this.

[–]Wel1081 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly as u/uBrunoOh just said. It doesn't have to be plates, but with enough time of abundance, you will develop that mentality without even having a single chick.

[–]BrunoOh0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If you have enough things going on in your life, you naturally assume an abundant mindset as well.

[–]thor_away920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ah this explains it. I haven't fucked any of my plates for like a month or two and I could give a shit less.

[–]camwomanafrica0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I especially like the lady game part,many men cant swalow that dick its more replaceble and less valuble than vagina,and its mens own faults,i love playing the vagina games and getting abusive/tedpill like man suck in.its best in my industry too hehe

[–]bhaknu0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What if plates were aircraft engines? An airplane with two engines needs two engines to be effective. An airplane with one engine needs that one engine all the more. Yet a glider pilot can always count on his own weight to move him along. Now it might be apparent that the glider pilot is the lone wolf and the coupled man like the single engine pilot. But I think healthy monogamy is somewhat like the glider, circling to make the most of lift yet feeling no panic when it's gone.



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