Lifting at the gym the other day, an unremarkable woman is working out adjacently. She moves over to the cable crossover machine.
The last person who used it must have been tall, because the pins are set at the highest level. Unremarkable Woman can't reach them. She makes eye contact. (I have headphones in, so if she's saying anything I can't hear her.) I try to ignore her, but the eye contact is relentless and finally she mouths something.
Her: Could you lower that pin for me?
Me: No.
She stared at me in silence for a second, then demanded to know why I wasn't helping her. I didn't feel like conversing, I felt like doing some more lat pulldowns. Which I continued to, without a word.
If I had felt like responding, I would have said what I'm saying here: First, I'm busy. Second, yeah, you're short, but you're able-bodied. Either grab a bench, or step up on the handle or something.
This woman was maybe 5'3". Any man that height would have figured it out himself, probably by one of the methods I just laid out. I'm not going to inconvenience myself, even for a second, just because a woman is conditioned to seek help from the nearest man anytime she comes up against even a minuscule problem. If the woman was 80 years old, maybe I would have helped her. I'd help an 80-year-old man, too. But not someone who expects that she deserves to have me do her bidding just because she has a vagina.
The woman in question would never admit that it's the vagina that gives her carte blanche to ask strangers for favors, but of course it is.
Do I even need to mention that she quickly found another guy to move the pin for her? She then glared at me once he rescued her. She'll tell her friends, and I'll forever be known as that asshole who doesn't show common courtesy (i.e., supplication.) Which beats the hell out of being pliable.
If she was attractive, maybe I'd have flirted with her while still refusing to help. "Come on, a bright girl like you can't figure out how to lower the pin? I have faith in you."
If there's a lesson here, it's that it feels empowering to walk away when you're wanted or needed. Either way, don't take that shit. Especially from a presumptive stranger.
[–][deleted] 45 points46 points47 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]FrgElder2 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Snaekeyez31 points [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]PowerVitamin 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SingMeBackHome 8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]aanarchist 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]yummyluckycharms 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]aanarchist 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DisgruntledWolverine1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Exactly_what_I_think 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Red_Shirt_Blue_Pants 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pressedred 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]freshdesuka 15 points15 points15 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 10 points11 points12 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Red_Shirt_Blue_Pants 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]theadj123 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]slay_it_forward 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]skoobled 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]enadelb 5 points5 points5 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Red_Shirt_Blue_Pants 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]aholeguy 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]pressedred 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Red_Shirt_Blue_Pants 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Red_Shirt_Blue_Pants 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thor_away92 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Red_Shirt_Blue_Pants 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]skoobled 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MOCKxTHExCROSS6 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]aholeguy 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DforDeadpool 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]DforDeadpool 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CakesStolen -2 points-1 points0 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fenrir93446 1 point2 points3 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]CakesStolen 0 points1 point2 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]NotUpToAnythingGood 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]CakesStolen 3 points4 points5 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]CakesStolen 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Red_Shirt_Blue_Pants -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CakesStolen -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Red_Shirt_Blue_Pants 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Red_Shirt_Blue_Pants -2 points-1 points0 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CakesStolen 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]eddiae -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Luckyluke23 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link