I don't think any man I know that's married is happy

Rodion-Raskolnikov · 2016-08-22T14:44:29+00:00

All of my buddies from my 20s are now divorce-raped 40 something dad-bods. I was there back in the day when they met these bitches. We were all playing in bands or slamming it at the clubs. I was best man at their weddings. I watched their cutie pie sex kittens turn into hissing cats straight after the baby popped out. I was the shoulder to cry on when she traded up for a 'better deal', took the kids and the house. I provided the couch for them to sleep on while they (never quite) pulled themselves back together. They all told me I was right to never marry but never relished in being told this. It's fucking tragic because our society is broken beyond repair. Incentives, prizes, social media validation, vapid mainstream culture, feminism, hook-ups and hypergamy have wrecked the foundations. Watch it all fucking burn.

armaadi · 2016-08-22T12:51:55+00:00

Married here. There are some times that I am happy, but the vast majority of my time and effort is doing things that...not necessarily make her happy..but things that make her not-unhappy, if that makes sense. She can't just up and go do something; everything has to be planned out. We are doing "x", then "y" and then "z". If those things happen in that order, then we are not unhappy.

Things that make me happy is playing some wows, playing with my daughter and playing some softball or baseball. I have no idea what makes her happy any more.

So yeah, most guys, most of the time, in a marriage, are probably doing what they can to make her not-unhappy. They know they can't bring up going to play golf or going to a concert to their wives, because just asking means she's going to explode with 30 questions about how we possibly can't make that happen...even if you get everything situated to where you can.

PipBoyTInkerer · 2016-08-22T12:10:17+00:00

Marriage is all about taking whatever dreams and passions you have in life and sacrificing it for your wife's dreams and passions (who may or may not stick around to enjoy them with you)

LetsGoAllTheWhey · 2016-08-22T15:04:08+00:00

I was talking to a guy last week while on vacation. I was vacationing with my son. The guy was quite a bit older and had obviously been married for a long time, his kids were grown, etc. He asked if my wife was with us so I let him know I was divorced. This complete stranger straight out told me "God, I wish I could get rid of mine".

curry_or_death · 2016-08-22T17:24:28+00:00

Nope me either.

ALL my married friends are perpetually miserable. They have no money, no life or hobbies that do not include the wife, no permission to do anything, live in a state of anxiety and fear, and worst of all, have lost most, if not all, of their friends.

And if I'm being honest, I'm really fucking bored of their whining and defeatist attitude. There's only so many times you can say "that bitch is crazy/unreasonable/manipulative " and have them agree and do fuck all about it. The shaming is annoying AF too. Why do I have to feel bad because I made a better decision with my life?

Seriously, married guys, tough shit.

phathack · 2016-08-22T15:26:34+00:00

I've known several men that were very happy with their young girlfriends, it was their bitter old wives that they couldn't stand.

2016-08-22T10:40:50+00:00

I see the same or they are being divorce raped.

mrp_1844 · 2016-08-22T10:59:05+00:00

Do they have happy wifes? /s

Izzenw · 2016-08-22T12:35:10+00:00

I know some guys that are "Happy".

Conformists guys that accepts that marriage is a necessary evil, and they must get along with it as it was a chronic disease.

BooDoug · 2016-08-22T15:10:55+00:00

[deleted]

nbennett2q5 · 2016-08-22T17:55:45+00:00

Ironically, I've really only seen this in arranged marriages, traditional cultures or what we would refer to as third world countries. Now I'm not saying that it is the marriage which makes men happy but what I do see is two partners who understand that they are in this together for good or bad. For this life they are together, if they hate each other, they chose wrong but they will at least come to some agreement and the man is as important as the woman (which equals misogyny in the western world).

They work at it. Their bad mood is not their partners fault and their family will tell them (man or woman) so. They are making a lifetime commitment by choice and in doing so are both making a sacrifice in order to fulfill their biological imperative.

It doesn't fit into our Disney narratives but essentially it's like having a biological "business partner". Once the choice is made (and yes it is a choice, any party can say no, at least, in India) both are responsible for making it work. The challenges of marriage are well known , they do not suffer the romance delusion and generally understand it for what it is: the initial high one gets from being validated by a new sexual partner.

I could go on but basically all the cultural carrots and sticks have evolved to create a stable , multi-family situation in which kids never want for attention because they have aunts, uncles , grandparents and an actual community. The basic incompatibility between men and women is understood, so they rarely "hang out" socially , men do their thing and women do their's.

There is equality , the women don't want to spend their social time with men and vice versa, it is not exclusion just exactly what we've done for 95% of our existence as a species.

It's the irony of MGTOW that old cultures had achieved this a long time back and it wanes but still persists because it seems to be the only form of courtship which is sustainable. In fact a recognized stage of life for a man, after he raises his kids, is to wander off into the mountains or wherever, literally "going his own way"

I think it's about as good as it gets. At least, your investment is equal to your partners and both of you stand to lose a great deal if the marriage fails. Here (The US) women have great incentives to get divorced and none to stay married while men are severely punished in 97% of divorce cases (yes women, who comprise 40% of the top "bread winners" pay alimony in 3% of cases , so: equality)

Would you start a business with a partner who could leave at any time, contribute nothing, and yet profit from your work for the rest of their lives?

If so , please pm me , I have a great business idea!

victor_knight · 2016-08-22T12:57:31+00:00

Wasn't there a line in Wolf of Wall Street by Donnie Azoff saying this also?

2016-08-23T01:35:20+00:00

I know a surgeon who makes $300,000 or more per year (A lot in NZ), has an amazing house, amazing car, awesome holiday home, etc.

One of his children is autistic (I think, basically he will never develop social skills and is incapable of looking after himself) and his wife takes care of him, cleans the house, etc. The other two children are older and have left so are independent.

Anyway, the guy is depressed, bordering on suicidal as he knows he will never be about to leave her without a serious settlement and she controls his life (I went around for dinner and we were discussing Charles Murray's work, she immediately changed the conversation and once dinner was over basically forced me out the door).

If you are wealthy make fuckin sure you never get a controlling bitch pregnant or your life is fucked. Money doesn't equal happiness.

Zombocom1911 · 2016-08-22T18:14:12+00:00

Same here, all I see is misery in married with children.

2016-08-22T22:55:26+00:00

My dad seems pretty content being married.. But when I compare my parents to the standard married couple I see nothing in common.. He even admits that he basically "lucked out"

This has always been my hardest lesson.. Growing up I assumed all relationships were like what I saw growing up.. A few years into reality woke me up pretty quick

equiposeur · 2016-08-23T01:01:25+00:00

I'm happily married. (Don't want to jinx it, but it's true.)

2016-08-24T12:11:22+00:00

I got married about 10 years ago. But I was pretty mentally ill back then.

arcesious · 2016-08-22T15:45:13+00:00

Just because you can't think of any doesn't mean they don't exist. My own parents are still happily married and likely will be until death by my best estimation. A friend of mine I play games with often who is married with a daughter to care for also seems happy even though he works two jobs to support his family. His wife even plays games with him on the regular. Some people just seem to have made it work, and both examples I've provided have something in common that I think is important - ignorance of the realities of female nature. Funnily enough, I guess that in some instances what you don't know ends up shielding you instead of harming you. But it's probably just the exception to the rule in terms of outcomes. The only reason I mention these 'counterexamples' is because I think it's important to watch out for confirmation bias. Even if MGTOW as a group is right when we say AWALT, in principle I think it's important to always pay attention to any bits of information/observation that run counter to a generalized perception so that your views remain accurate.

Personally, I'd rather live in awareness of the harsh truths of reality than live in ignorant bliss. As such, I just can't take 'romance' seriously. It has no mystery to me anymore. Instead, I focus on the other mysteries of life, such as trying to determine the true nature of the universe.

Title	I don't think any man I know that's married is happy
Author	jc_reddit
Upvotes	49
Comments	71
Date	August 22, 2016 8:53 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/4yzmt7/i_dont_think_any_man_i_know_thats_married_is_happy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/i-dont-think-any-man-i-know-thats-married-is-happy.625385 https://theredarchive.com/post/625385

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