Thanks for reading and I hope all is well with everyone. I'm making this post to shed some light on common traits of people who may become or have became detrimental to your mental emotional health. Before you read the rest, I just want to say I am sorry you must go through this, especially when you care about someone very deeply. It can be incredibly hard to cut ties with someone that you just want to see happy, and in turn, they hurt you, break you down, disrespect you, continuously manipulating your soft loving heart for their own selfish purposes. It is obvious but we always need a reminder to prevent us from making the choice to care for someone who doesn't deserve your love.

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Always remember

Love is not supposed to hurt

Someone who adores you, will not see you as a tool to fix their own insecurities

You deserve better

You don't need him

he does not need you. HE NEEDS PROFESSIONAL HELP

It is not your job to fix a broken man

They know they are hurting you. They do not care, because they don't know how to love.

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Here are some telltale signs of a narc,EU,overall toxic person. Read, judge me, harshly, but if you see these signs early on or later down the line, don't be like me & stay until you have nothing left so you have no choice but to cut all communication. You deserve better & he will never chnage.

Red Flags.

  1. EVERYTHING is always on their terms. They only go by their time, meeting up, going out to eat. They are only available when they feel like being available

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  1. Hot and cold tactics. Narcs like to control those who may be emotionally dependant so they can use them when they feel like it. A common sign is when you meet a guy and you talk daily, he seems very interested in you, but then the next day, you don't hear from then, the day turns into a week, then two, then 3etc. They also tend to somewhat "pickup" where they left off, texting you out of nowhere like nothing happened.

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  1. Too interested early on into the friendship. They may seem very sweet, charming, loving, caring, interested, have feelings for you, then the next moment they treat you as if you are a stranger to them.

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  1. Talking negative about any past relationships or exes who have done them wrong. Narcs love to tell sob stories about how they were hurt very bad in the past, how terrible his exes were, taking no accountability for the relationship not working out. Sometimes it may true (cheating, lying etc.) but most of the time, the narc is trying to gain your sympathy so you can feel bad and keep gravitating towards them. They want to think "he has been so hurt in the past, I'll never do that to him, I wanna love him and show him that I am not like the people who broke his heart. In reality, they are most likely the reason why none of the relationships worked out. If you have had multiple failed relationships and you refuse to see yourself as the common denominator, it shows how immature and emotionally stunted you are.

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  1. Baiting. The narc will give you mixed signals, they will also say something to keep you drawn in, but once you start to show actual feelings, they will get defensive, accuse you of being crazy so they can break down your self esteem and lose sight of your own worth as a person because they have a need to feel desired, they need attention, they need you to stroke their ego to feel good about themselves.

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  1. These traits along with some form of substance abuse. These are all red flags but they are made worse when the narc engages in any form escapism to not deal with their issues. My narc was a huge pothead, he was also very closed off emotionally, I think he engages in sex a lot because he wanted to feel dominate & important. He loved taking control and blurting out things along the lines of "this is the best sex you've ever had, you're daddies pu**y, you're daddies little bit*h, youre daddies little c*m dumpster, etc". He got off on control and me needing him, he also acknowledged that he has a problem with not showing emotion and having childhood trauma that he smokes away.

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  1. You being upset and him invalidating your reasons to feel a certain way about something. Narcs feed off weakness, because they themselves aren't strong either. They are emotionally stunted so they treat your emotions and valid reasons for being upset like it's not a big deal. They never learned how to process emotions correctly so when someone discusses their emotions to them, they get upset, gaslight you, accusing you of being clingy or sensitive. Mentally they never grew older. They grew up in terms of age, ut they still have the emotional maturity of a child.

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Be strong.