Dating a bi guy?

subtlecuttlefish · 2020-05-10T20:59:02+00:00

So here's my perspective as a bi woman:

There are a lot of misconceptions about being bisexual, such as people thinking we can't be monogamous (like we need one of each to be fulfilled or something) or that we're hypersexual or that we're secretly gay (for a straight partner)/ secretly straight (for a same sex partner). It's an added layer of difficulty when dating. Just because someone is bi does not mean these things are true any more for someone who is straight. That said I see a number of issues here:

Issue no. 1: He didn't tell you. Even though it sometimes gets me unwanted attention from men (omg you're bi, do you want a thresome??? Nah bro. If I wanted to disappoint two people at once, I'd just have dinner with my parents) and some lesbians will straight up not want to be with bi women because they think they will leave them for a man. I do try to drop that I'm bi into the convo with potential partners because it's important info about me even if it might put some people off. In fact, that's why it's important to bring it up - if it's a dealbreaker for someone, I need to find out sooner rather than later! If someone doesn't bring up important info that's an amber/red flag depending on the importance of the information.

Issue no 2: Your attitude to gay sex - if someone was "disgusted" by the idea of me having had sex with women in the past I would steer clear of them as they will not like and accept me. I am LGBT - it's part of who I am and it's part of my dating history. I will still be bisexual even if I were happily committed to an opposite sex partner. That doesn't affect my ability to be a loving an committed partner but someone who is anti gay-sex is not going to be compatible with someone who is LGBT.

Issue no 3: If you're not comfortable with the idea that he's had any kind of sexual relationships before because saving yourself for marriage is important to you, you're probably not compatible with him.

So him being bi in itself isn't a dealbreaker but all of the above things probably are.

ModernDayOracle · 2020-05-11T08:28:01+00:00

If you're 'disgusted' he's had male partners, then move on, regardless of anything else under consideration. You're not compatible.

TheOGJammies · 2020-05-10T17:52:49+00:00

He lied to you about his sexuality on purpose. These guys know women are hesitant to date bisexual men because of the increased risk of STDs and cheating. And if he dated men exclusively until now he may not be bi, he may just be gay but want a broodmare to carry his kids and will go right back to men as soon as you get pregnant. Dump immediately

Salt_Satisfaction · 2020-05-10T21:49:43+00:00

Tbh, you should be more open-minded about bisexuality and homosexuals. It's not disgusting that he dated or fucked men, regardless of sex, what's more disgusting is if he actually did disgusting sex acts such as abusive things. In my experience bi guys are better than hetero ones because they listened to me more and were far more respectful. Hetero guys were more likely to be controlled by their dicks and be macho-like.

He's not more likely to cheat just because he's bi, hetero men have options too if they wait long enough, it all depends on how trustworthy the person is. Just the fact that he dated guys instead of simply having hookups, when it's a lot more common in the gay community, tells you something about how his intentions to have a relationship might be genuine. He was also honest with you when you asked knowing that you may have a negative reaction, so that's a good sign in itself. Imo he didn't need to tell you from the very beginning, just like women on this subreddit don't want to disclose details about their exes.

Lucy_Truth · 2020-05-10T19:22:36+00:00

I wouldn't date one. He would have his pick of the litter on Grindr, making it very easy for him to cheat on me.

gcthrowaway2019 · 2020-05-10T20:49:52+00:00

He's looking for a beard. PASS.

Title	Dating a bi guy?
Author	ThrowRA-NWI-Region
Upvotes	0
Comments	8
Date	May 10, 2020 6:34 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ggwek4/dating_a_bi_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dating-a-bi-guy.676548 https://theredarchive.com/post/676548

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