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venomoth91 · 2020-04-25T00:28:20+00:00

This was so true in my experience. I grew up in a small town in rural Minnesota and I never dated in high school. I thought I was just unattractive because none of my crushes liked me back, but really we just weren’t compatible. My first long-term boyfriend in college was really great, but we broke up due to me wanting to move after graduation.

Then I lived in Minneapolis for three years after finishing college and I was single the whole time. Again, I thought something was wrong with me even though I always sort of knew in my gut that there was just something about the men there that felt “off.” Like they weren’t LVM men necessarily, just not quite right for me. And of course, I mostly only attracted guys who seemed like HVM on paper but didn’t want something serious. Probably because they could sense what I was feeling somehow. Like something about my energy told them “she’s a HVW but not right for you.”

Finally I moved to Los Angeles in 2017 and met tons of great men there who actually wanted to date me on a serious level. One of the two guys in my current rotation is a lot younger. He’s 22 and I’m 28, but he puts so much effort into planning cool activities for our quarantine video chat dates. I was hesitant about the age gap at first since I thought guys his age only wanted hookups. That was my experience when I was 22, but he’s so sweet and attentive to my needs and so far he’s making it pretty clear that he wants to commit once we meet in real life after quarantine. The other guy in my rotation is the same age as me and just as awesome so far.

comet2004 · 2020-04-25T01:53:55+00:00

City definetly makes a huge difference. I like my men to be all american family oriented types. When I lived in Chicago no shortage of suitable guys. The minute I move to SF, it's full of tech peter pans who have no clue how to talk to women and no concept of family. It's like a night and day difference. I am moving to San Diego soon and already it seems 100x better.

Meccha_me_2 · 2020-04-25T02:23:40+00:00

This is so real. Location changes everything.

I have accepted for a fact that I will not find someone I want to settle down with in the city I’m in now. 🤷🏾‍♀️

It’s a preppy, busy city where people take A LOT of pride in what they do for work. The beauty standard here is also skewed to kind of preppy and white and I’m a black woman with a sporty sense of style. It’s rare that men approach me here at all and it’s even more rare for me to meet someone who’s my type (well-educated, POC, artsy, outdoorsy, liberal).

However in Philly everything is different. I can sit at a bar by myself looking like I haven’t showered in days and a man who fits my exact type will come up to me and strike up an interesting and respectful conversation every time. I know that if I want to increase my chances of meeting a HVM I’m excited about I will have to move there

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