Another one! Doesn’t make him hvm but time will tell.

m4dam3x · 2020-03-31T03:19:00+00:00

Lol, you basically told him what to say. Talk is cheap, stop coaching these guys. Let them show you with their actions and actual interest what they are looking for.

gitepor · 2020-03-31T03:22:07+00:00

Is this how low the bar is? Why are you sharing this screenshot?? 🤦‍♀️🤣

pickmieshaexorcist · 2020-03-31T04:04:05+00:00

Ngl, I have heard this exact talk from wannabe users and ghosters back in my dating days.

jazzyjazcons · 2020-03-31T04:08:27+00:00

This conversation is always so hard to have. There is so many things to balance.

One on hand you don’t want to lead him to the right answer, on the other hand, I think a woman initiating the convo takes away the allure and mystery that men seem to like. It’s like asking “what are we?” The moment a woman says that, it’s over. I would very much be interested in a strategy on how to approach this convo, effectively, but also in a way that maintains intrigue and mystery so that he doesn’t get the impression that he’s already got you.

kwalden2 · 2020-03-31T03:43:23+00:00

Yes, talk is cheap and people lie. Don't really believe the man based on this alone. Believing the man isn't the point. By asking, a minimum expectation is set from the beginning that the man can own up to a decision on what he wants!

3 months down the line, if he doesn't want to take the next step, he would be noticeably dropping the ball by saying:

"I don't want labels yet, but of course I like you and we should keep seeing each other weekly."

"I'm not really in the right place for a relationship now, but please wait for me."

"I thought you knew I was looking for something physical first."

"I'm never getting married, I just want a forever gf."

This way, less women are stuck waiting for men to make up their minds. Don't play the waiting game for him to someday decide what he wants. Look very early on for a trait of showing what he wants in words and in actions. If he backtracks later, bye Felicia!

How to more properly ask? Don't give him the exact answer. Ask broadly "what are you looking for out of dating these days?", and the type of man who can stick to a decision may just tell you! Ask in person, preferably, so you can read body language when he answers. Asking on the third date or so might work well because it's early enough to talk about the future without pressure, but he's also more comfortable to speak freely.

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