Hello ladies. I've been caught in a whirlwind romance the past few weeks which yesterday I decided to end, based on the fact I felt terrible and when reading the advice here and WMLB etc, I just felt he didn't treat me like a queen, after the initial stages. I feel like I missed out because he was so attentive and complimentary in the beginning, not to mention we have loads of comparability in various ways. So, I just want to lay the red flags in front of you and have you tell me honestly if this is LVM behaviour or not.

The first week he was full of how I was beautiful and creative and inspiring, maybe I could stay with his family when this is all over. He is very good looking 100% my type, and we had SO much chemistry. He has very cultured interests, dresses well, is intelligent. There were a few red flags. At first I wrote them off as potential coincidences, but they mounted up.

- He had to only talk to me when his parents were out of the house, or sneak away for a few minutes when they were watching tv. He's 26, so it struck me as odd that he couldn't just tell the family he was talking to a girl.

- He works as a classroom assistant for children with special needs. Myself I thought this was totally legit, but a friend of mine says that was the first thing that made her suspicious.

- He told me early on about how he was recently arrested and treated badly by the police because he was going 10 miles over the speed limit and although he was not drunk, he is now being dragged through the courts for driving on anti-depressants. Possibly true? But idk, first real conversation we had and he already has a story about him being the victim.

- Didn't ask me reciprocal questions: I'd ask if he had siblings, he'd answer and then wouldn't ask me.

- One night he texted me three messages asking if he could call me. I didn't reply because it was like 1am. Next morning he said he was embarrassed, he had done it because he takes Ambien and gets delirious at nights.

- A couple of nights later, he asked if I was down to get a call. Three minutes after I got his message, I said "Yes", then he gave me silence for two and a half hours! After that he said he was sorry, he had passed out, on Ambien. Is this a thing? I don't know anything about Ambien, it seems like it can affect people really badly, but I feel like these two instances are very convenient.

- At first he would text me allll the time. Like sometimes we'd have really good long conversations, other times I'd just leave his texts unanswered for a few hours, and I'd get like three or four texts in a day. He'd even text me when he got up in the morning and when he went to bed. I know now that seems extreme, but it felt more like falling in love than being poached by an abuser.

- I know this ONE detail will seem insane, but let me tell you: one day he skype called me trying to be alluring with his shirt off (I was withholding sexy times until I was more sure of him) and he had his fucking work lanyard on. Looking back, I've seen he has a lanyard on in 90% of his social media pics. Just. Why? Why would you not take off your lanyard to sexy skype a woman? It made me feel like he was going out of his way to make me see it, but maybe I'm just reading too much into that.

At first he totally seemed to worship me and be eating out of my hand. This lasted a couple of weeks.

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One day he just changed. Said he was going to ring me then didn't. I left it a day, then spoke to him casually as if I hadn't noticed. He seemed keen to talk again, but when he didn't explain himself I just stopped responding.

Four/five days later he messages asking if I want to chat. I said, "Hi. I'm a bit surprised to hear from you. I was disappointed that you didn't call me after you said you were going to."

He said, "I was going to right after!"

I said, "Why didn't you?"

He said, "I don't know. My dad's losing his job and I've been really stressed."

I tried making polite conversation for the next day thinking maybe I could see what was up and re-ignite the spark, but he just became so low-effort after that. Didn't text me as much, didn't tell me what was happening in his life, didn't ask how I was.

After the third question I asked about his well-being where he just answered and then didn't ask me in turn, I said, "You never ask me how I am. I'm outta here."

He kept sending sad faces and saying he was so sorry, then I said, "I can do better than this", and closed the chat window. I blocked him a while later.

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I've hunted through some facebook history and tbf he is who he says he is. He is 26 and doesn't seem to be married (some of my worst suspicions were that he was like 18 and living out a fantasy life, or that his "parents" whom he had to avoid were actually his wife and kids.)

Can anyone make anything of the red flags? Can anyone just offer me some upbeat words? This whole thing evolved over 3 weeks, so it was a quick transition from honeymoon phase to "meh". I just still feel like I lost a man who was really intelligent, cultured, caring, well dressed... At least I didn't waste six months on him like 18-year-old me would have done.