I am saying this because I think I might have. I(24f) have been dating a guy(24m) the past 9 months who is probably the healthiest person I have met. He works in IT(earns in the low six figures) but doesnt look like someone who would(by that i mean he is pretty fit and generally knows how to dress well), he treats me extremely well compared to my exes. Always pays, cooks for me, buys groceries when he is visiting my apartment even though i just mentioned i needed that thing off hand, we have so much in common politically, humor wise and just in general have some of the deepest conversations I have had with a male. I haven't ever clicked this fast with someone.

The bullshit started when he was at my place once and had to leave about an hour after he arrived because of some sort of work emergency. He planned to come back later that evening so we could finish things where we started and he left some of his stuff. One of the things he left was his phone and I sorta got curios after a couple of hours. When I opened it I saw a bunch of messages from a girl (lets call her becky) talking about how it had been such a long time, and how she couldn't wait to see him again talking about how much she missed him. This could not have been a family member considering the fact that he is black as black can be and Becky is a white, blonde, green eyed girl.

It really fucking hurt just seeing the messages appear. It felt like being in my previous relationship where I was the biggest pickmeisha and they had to cheat a multiple times before I found the confidence to let them go. I know the right thing to do would be to throw all his shit out and tell him to never see me again but I really couldn't believe he would do something like this. He had generally expressed distaste for cheaters and really said he would never do something like that in earlier conversations.

He got back a couple of hours later to me just crying my eyes out. Its one thing getting cheated on by a guy with no future prospect, but even after following the FDS handbook I felt so shattered. I was so mad I just couldn't hold it in so I might have gotten a bit vocal with him and put him in his place. He did not say a word but after things had cooled down for a bit and he looked at me confused saw I had his phone and figured that I must have seen the messages. He then told me that what I had seen was the friend he had been telling me about. (Apparently he had lived at her place after he got kicked out of his parents home in high school and they had come to have an extremely close friendship. She was in town for a concert happening later that week and they were going together. He had even shown pictures of them going to Africa earlier with their friends I just didnt recognize her cause she had a completely different haircut and looked way different).

After this he said he had to go home and think about things. He hasn't texted me for the last 3 of days and I sorta feel like I maybe overreacted. My question is am I showing pickmeisha behaviour or am was I right to react the way I did? I just feel like he would have told me that he had to be with her if he was a 100% loyal.

TLDR; I might have lost a HVM because of trauma from my previous relationships.