I re-activated an old OLD account. I hadn’t used OLD in a while, not since encountering and incorporating FDS principles.

First things first, I got rid of any pictures that were even remotely sexual. I had a pic of me in a bathing suit at the beach. I remember showing my profile to a straight male friend a while back and him commenting on how sexual that pic was, and the message that was sending to guys. I was like “Wtf no it’s not.” But he was right. Having that pic up was a total pickme move, born of a desire to get sexual attraction from men, born out of insecurity about my body and attractiveness. I was showing my body to men before they earned the right to see it. I had seen the sea of models my straight male friends swiped thru and felt a need to compete with them. I wish we lived in a magical libfem world in which I could show my fiercest, sexiest pics and not be judged as a slut who’s only looking for sex, but that ain’t the world we live in.

So I removed that pic and a pic of me in a crop top, and replaced them with less sexy pics. I posted a somewhat unflattering pic of me hugging an animal (an important part of my life/personality), which before I would have never posted because it’s not my best angle. Fuck every pic having to have the best angle, lighting, expression, outfit, etc. If a man is going to love me he better love all my angles. I removed other libfem, pickme stuff like “open to non-monogamy and short term dating”. 🤮 I re-worked what I wrote in my profile, trying not to impress or give away too much info about myself. My profile became as tame as a linkedin. I would not have been embarrassed for anyone, from work, school, or family to see me on there.

Let me tell you ladies. Men know what the fucking game is. They can smell desperation a MILE away. I got way less sexual openers. I got comments like “you seem really interesting, what a great smile, I’d love to get to know you” and more engagement with what I wrote about my interests and hobbies. Despite my pickme fears that showing less skin would make me less attractive, I actually felt like I was matching more with more attractive men, and they were messaging me more. The intrigue is real! Men want what they can’t have.

I actually did match with a guy I knew IRL, and I was so glad my profile was so restrained because it made me not look desperate. It’s a tough pill to swallow for someone that used to believe in being “sex positive” but oh well. 🤷‍♀️

Anyway I had to delete my profile again after a week or so because I became addicted to it, constantly wanting to swipe, check messages, etc. These fucking apps are designed to be addictive and I dont want to mix that energy with something as important as finding a partner. I struggle with technology addiction in general (hello reddit my old friend) so I have to be vigilant about that for my mental health. But I thought you might appreciate this small field report! Being a pickme gets you nowhere!