Need some outside perspective on a LDR

opalkhaleesi · 2020-02-03T01:13:35+00:00

Did you read your post out loud? Imagine if another redditor had this same issue, what would you tell them?

1 physical date that lasted less than an hour

Months and months of talking

0 gifts

0 romance

now we’re boyfriend/girlfriend 💘

yumiia · 2020-02-03T00:49:18+00:00

Girl I just skimmed because the answer is you’re not following FDS guidelines. You’re supposed to date multiple people until you have a solid commitment. You’re wasting your time on someone ten years older than you who loses value steadily each year he ages, and already lives far away. You’re 20 in the prime of your life. You can keep talking to him, but at the very least PLEASE go talk to other romantic interests. Especially since they’re HVMs. And why waste time on and older man who lives so far away and does bare minimum, when you can be with someone way closer who may treat you way better?

So I went back and read it and the fact that you think he has a social disorder was kind of funny to me. The reason I say it’s funny is because from the way you describe him, it doesn’t sound like a disorder. The fact that he uses big obscure words signals to me that he’s full of himself and trying to come off as intelligent to impress you and thus boost his ego. The fact that he offers marriage and says nice stuff doesn’t mean anything. Men will say anything to get what they want. Words don’t matter, actions do. If he says he’s going to do all these things to commit, but doesn’t show it. Then he’s full of shit and just playing you. The fact that he’s an older man also makes this more likely. He probably has experience conning women like this. I’m sorry you have to deal with such bullshit. I’ve dealt with the same type of men and it is such a damn headache.

extraacct1234 · 2020-02-03T01:27:15+00:00

He's juggling multiple women.

missrex · 2020-02-03T02:33:34+00:00

we've only met briefly when I was in his town for work commitments. He took me out for dinner

One date? In six months? That man is not your boyfriend.

he wants to fly me out to his town again soon (I kind of feel like he should come to me this time)

Has he actually made the plans? Picked the dates? Bought the tickets? If the answer to any of those is “no”, then he is not your boyfriend.

Have you suggested he come to you, and if you did, did he reject it? He is not your boyfriend.

has not bought me anything for Christmas, New Years, nor sends me cute gifts in the mail. Doesn't really do anything romantic. We talk every day and that's it.

He didn’t buy you anything for Christmas!!! A boy I was dating for literally two weeks bought me something for Valentine’s Day, there’s no excuse for a Grown Man claiming to be your boyfriend Of 5 months to NOT BUY YOU A PRESENT For Christmas! this man is not your boyfriend!

I am in my 20s and he's in his 30s.

Not the reddest flag, but combined with everything else it is a bad sign.

You say he’s very sweet and you talk every day. Listen, it’s very easy to say the right thing to woo you. It’s much harder and financially risky to do the right thing to treat you right.

Don’t even waste your time trying to work things out with this guy. He doesn’t treat you like a real partner, just someone to sooth his ego and make him feel less lonely without making any actual investment in your relationship. Just stop answering his calls.

randomgirlimok · 2020-02-03T04:52:51+00:00

My ex was flying his new GF out to see him and paying for it after knowing her a week. If a guy wants to see you, this is what he will do. Your guy doesn’t.

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Title	Need some outside perspective on a LDR
Author	BleuRaspbery
Upvotes	6
Comments	22
Date	February 3, 2020 12:39 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/exyefh/need_some_outside_perspective_on_a_ldr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/need-some-outside-perspective-on-a-ldr.683415 https://theredarchive.com/post/683415

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