On being the "female"/feminine in in the relationship when you are masculine at work and else where. Question Flfor "strong" women.

RadioactiveJoy · 2020-01-01T00:53:36+00:00

I hate this whole masculine and feminine garbage. I am who I am. In the same situation with the same interaction I can be perceived to be incredibly feminine or incredibly masculine. People find what they want to like or not like about me. All that matters is I jive with whoever I’m with.

dackaroo · 2020-01-01T04:01:06+00:00

I think we should redefine femininity. What makes a good mother? Being weak willed and dainty? Absolutely not! Women need to be strong and protective. Motherhood is a leadership role, so women are natural leaders.

Petra-24 · 2020-01-01T00:36:25+00:00

There is a difference between following, and being led. You follow of your own free will. You are led, no matter whether you will it or not.

I don't mean to attack you or criticise you. It's just, there is a difference between what is your free will and what isn't. He shouldn't be the one telling you to submit to him. But going to him and feeling safe around him, with him, is different from feeling small around him, being told by him what to do, how to act.

I don't know if that makes sense?

DelicateDream · 2020-01-01T04:42:45+00:00

Everyone has a masculine and feminine aspect internally because they’re metaphors and not social roles. “Masculine” is the active, doing, accomplishing, strategizing aspect. “Feminine” is the being, feeling, enjoying, accepting aspect. Repression of either makes people unhappy. Western culture tends to overemphasize the masculine. But there’s a paradox - integrating the feminine more doesn’t mean fighting the masculine. Because “fighting” is masculine energy. So you simply accept and be. When you’re feeling “strong”, you don’t chastise yourself, thinking you should be “feminine”. Being feminine means you would simply be and accept yourself as-is. You don’t have to make sense of what you feel or think you must be one-dimensional. Integration of the feminine is that easy - its stillness, being, enjoying. There’s no trying. If you look at female dating strategy, that’s all it is - being in the feminine to see if a man has well-integrated masculine energy.

HVM will be drawn to a woman who has a healthy balance of masculine and feminine. Overly masculine people seem controlling and overly feminine seem spineless or flaky. You can see how LVM are often excessively feminine.

penelopekitty · 2020-01-01T13:09:52+00:00

I think I understand what you are saying - but let me put a different spin on it:

I too have always been a leader in my professional life and my social circle. I have my own business, I'm in charge and people look to me to make decisions. I am responsible for a lot of different things. This can be very tiring.

In a relationship I enjoy a man who takes charge of making plans, is confident, secure and makes me feel safe. This also means he has enough resources to act as a provider - even if I don't need his financial support. It makes me feel good that it is there should I need it. This is relaxing for me. It allows me downtime and helps me decompress. I don't see it as being led by a man so much as a man fulfilling his role - AS A MAN - in a relationship.

Too many men these days are actually children. We take care of them on many levels and they don't reciprocate as a man and step up to their role in caring for us in what might be seen as more traditionally masculine ways.

I think if you follow FDS rules in a relationship AND you find a HVM these things will come about naturally.

popfriday · 2020-01-01T17:56:21+00:00

I LOVE my femininity. I hate that that’s become a curse word. Like in order for a woman to be respected she can’t embrace femininity. And yes being a boss bitch, child bearing leader in the professional world is feminine af.

I’m currently on an international trip that my bf brought me on. After working so hard all year and racking in money, I get to save it all and be treated like a queen. And you best believe my nails, hair, eyebrows etc. are done. My body is fit and I feel soooo good. I love the way my bf is proud of the way I look AND how hard I work. And I’m super turned on by his non toxic masculinity.

I understand how femininity and masculinity can put us in boxes and all that jibber jabber but I LOVE being a woman. I love my curves I love feeling my emotions to the fullest especially when I’m on my period. I love my boobs my ass my hips my hair whether it’s long or short. And I like my men tall, strong attractive and Humble. Lib fems and incels can cry all they want.

Men who identify as transgender women live their whole lives dying to be what I was born with. I love it and I love all my female friends. That’s why I love this group.

“Femininity” is only offensive if you internalize a shitty definition of it. I love being a woman and I’m not going to apologize for it period.

Title	On being the "female"/feminine in in the relationship when you are masculine at work and else where. Question Flfor "strong" women.
Author	aminoabdi
Upvotes	14
Comments	14
Date	December 31, 2019 10:45 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/eia2id/on_being_the_femalefeminine_in_in_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/on-being-the-femalefeminine-in-in-the-relationship.685834 https://theredarchive.com/post/685834

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