How to not get attached?

throwawayy92838383 · 2019-10-02T17:47:46+00:00

First of all, change your mindset. Don’t romanticize men. Too often women will meet a man and immediately begin building him up in her head to be something he’s not before he’s even proven his value to them. They’ll day dream about him and devote too much mental attention to him.

Don’t.

Remember that he is just a man. He leaves his boxers all over his apartment instead of in clothes hamper. He has a bunch of porn open on his web browser. Just your average man. Stop giving him so much credit when he’s done nothing to even win you.

Also keep in mind men have a singular goal. While you might want to get swept away in romance, they want to get you in the sack. I’m not saying they can’t eventually have feelings for you down the line, but for the first couple months keep their end goal in mind.

Additionally, it helps to keep other men in rotation. Having options makes it possible to divert your mental energy. If you get too focused on one guy, you’re more likely to fall for him and lose your edge.

That’s fine if you like Bob more than Joe. As long as you still like Joe though, go out with Joe and have a good time to take your mind off Bob. If and when Bob ever demonstrates value and commitment to you, then you can think about being exclusive with Bob. Until then though, keep going out with Joe to keep your affections split.

2019-10-03T02:38:58+00:00

Date other men. You’ll realize they’re all the same. You’ll find others you click well with.

And then you can weed out the ppl who will really BE there for you.

Edit : and make sure he knows you’re dating other men. Best dudes I’ve dated have been ones where 2 mos in I said “I’m still dating other ppl, I really like you and I want to take this slow, so I hope we can commit once we know each other”

vintagesauce · 2019-10-02T19:27:57+00:00

Have you ever heard of the term "relationship escalator"? While our hearts don't always follow the desires of our brain, I find that stepping off the relationship escalator is helpful in maintaining my autonomy and boundaries.

Title	How to not get attached?
Author	filomene
Upvotes	6
Comments	22
Date	October 2, 2019 5:30 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dcdgfa/how_to_not_get_attached/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-to-not-get-attached.690337 https://theredarchive.com/post/690337

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