Never ignore the red flags, you will regret it sooner or later

outside-perception · 2020-05-31T00:24:07+00:00

I am that „empath" who did just this and learned from the insanity. Better in my late twenties than never.

whatisfunemployment · 2020-05-31T00:31:07+00:00

If it takes work to see the good in people, you're not seeing goodness, you're seeing what you wish was there.

divorcing-insecurity · 2020-05-31T00:28:35+00:00

One red flag I always stress to others is poor appearance. Women are usually taught from a young age to put aside how a boy looks and look for his caring heart and personality and the such. Tons of kids' shows and movies still have this gross concept. (Seriously, Trolls? Seriously? It's 2020.)

If he doesn't put an ounce of effort into his appearance, that's a red flag. Poor hygiene is a major red flag. Shoes falling apart? Either he's gross or lazy, and either way that's a red flag.

Sorry for this rant (I realize it's already in the handbook) but I have so many friends who date LVM and I had to get this energy out! Don't become a single mother to a LVM!

Complete_Thought · 2020-05-31T06:25:02+00:00

Yes! I always try to remember Maya Angelou's famous quote "When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them". This has been words to live by when navigating people.

Jasminov1 · 2020-05-31T01:23:41+00:00

We ignore the negative and chose to believe the perceived qualities in people. We should do the opposite, believe the negative side and ignore or diminish the positive side.

HoneyNJ2000 · 2020-05-31T12:06:59+00:00

Honestly, I think a lot of women ignore red flags not so much because they think there's a lot of "good" inside that person, I think it's MORE because they're willing to lower their expectations in order to continue clinging to him like grim death.

I think there are a lot of women who are desperate enough to disrespect their own boundaries because they looooooove him so much and will do anything to stay with him. I've seen it thousands of times.

meecy166 · 2020-05-31T01:27:26+00:00

When you ignore the Redflags you are doing yourself a disservice, and one day you would think about all the red flags and tally them up and see what a clown you were. If someone shows you who they are the first time believe them

SayNad · 2020-05-31T16:06:05+00:00

Being the cynical bastard has saved me a lot during my youth. It does make me distrustful and hard to form new relationships, but the good side of it though, damn.

Growing up poor give me the silver lining - people didn't bother pretending to be nice to me or my family, some smug ass shitty relatives as far as treating my father like trash right in front of my 9-year old eyes. From then on I started thinking "Adult are not all that" and started seeing red flags everywhere, even on my teachers. Saved my from becoming someone who keeps blaming themselves and wrecked their own developing confidence.

Now those same relatives try to lure me in with fake nice act and showing off their big cars, big houses, big money bullshit because surely a poor girl will be salivating at the sight of money right? Like I can't see the glaring red siren on their faces - they want the glamour and respect of my hard work in getting masters from a prominent university (while still being poor), while at the same time trying to influence me to HATE MY OWN FATHER! Because he is poor, so they are obviously better and I better be thankful they are being "nice" to be, so thankful I should kiss their fucking feet. Ahhh those piece of shits can go eat shit and die.

Part of the reason why I will pursue my phd is simply to rub it all on their faces, again and again and again. Fuck you all, just fuck you all.

KC_LongLegs84 · 2020-05-31T01:23:52+00:00

Amen. That flag says, “No! No! No!” not “Go! Go! Go!”

furiouswomen · 2020-05-31T06:12:25+00:00

100%

continuummmm · 2020-05-31T00:31:56+00:00

''red flags are just flags if you wear rose colored glasses''

bombpopeek · 2020-06-01T06:07:22+00:00

I wish I had been in this group sooner

greasyelbows · 2020-05-31T07:25:29+00:00

"when you're wearing rose colored glasses red flags just look like flags"

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2020-05-31T17:15:42+00:00

Ugh, girls are taught from the cradle to “be nice!”.

I literally remember being four years old and thinking “No!” was a literal curse word. That’s how my family would react if I said that word— as if I dropped the f-bomb.

Being “nice” is what gets you hurt.

alejandrabr8 · 2020-05-31T02:42:44+00:00

This is something we all need to follow by. It seems we are taught to forget it give a second chance as women. Red flags are what they are. It’s not worth it

ovelhaloira · 2020-05-31T09:09:35+00:00

My mom has just broken up with her boyfriend because of this. For months she failed to see the red flags. She's doing much better now.

If someone keeps screwing up, don't make excuses for his behaviour. "Oh he doesn't pay rent because he's too depressed to find work", "oh we never go out just cause he has no money", "oh he never helps me with housework just because he's very tired"... No! Don't do this to yourself!

Title	Never ignore the red flags, you will regret it sooner or later
Author	Tough_Fruit
Upvotes	672
Comments	30
Date	May 30, 2020 11:59 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gtosor/never_ignore_the_red_flags_you_will_regret_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/never-ignore-the-red-flags-you-will-regret-it.692038 https://theredarchive.com/post/692038

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