I never really realised I didn't think I deserved love until I thought about what I'd do to get it.
every time i'd start to like someone i'd try to change myself or wonder what I could do to get them to like me. the focus was on them and what they wanted, not me. and it's ironic because i've never even had a partner, but I think that's for the best. Because if I did in the state that I was in, I could've gotten mixed up in something really toxic.
ask yourself: is the focus on me or them?
because if you find yourself saying:
- "How can I get him to like me?"
- "Am I pretty enough?"
- "What does he want in a partner and how can I be that?"
Then you're showing that you really don't value YOURSELF.
You're also saying:
- I'm putting some fuckboy above everything in my life
- I have to compensate because i'm not enough
- this one sardine in a whole fucking ocean of fish is somehow worth dying for
there are MILLIONS of other guys out there, and most of them (probably like the one ur hung up on) aren't that great. And let's say he is a HVM- so what? You have to be in a place where no matter what you're going to consistently value your own wellbeing. You can't be a pickmeisha for ANYONE, IDC even if he's Brad Pitt.
you've got to learn to respect yourself and be the centre of your own universe. too many women are taught growing up that the world revolves around men. whether it be doing chores for them, putting up with creepy/abusive behaviour, or seeking validation from them.
You are the protagonist of your own story, not some fuckboy who doesn't know how to wash his ass.
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Perhaps they were not chasing because they were trying to be respectful of your space? It depends on what you mean by chasing.
But it sounds to me like you might have accountant attachment style.
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Lol sorry. Avoidant attachment!
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