8 years ago, I reached my breaking point. I was 22, beautiful, smart, well-traveled, educated, employed, and living on my own. I fell for a cute but idiotic LVM. He was a chef; he made $10/hr and worked most nights. He was apprehensive about our relationship but for some reason I latched onto him and decided I would do whatever it took to make things work.

I paid for every date, helped him with bills, and was an endless source of support as I tried to build him up to be the world-class chef I believed him capable of. Meanwhile, he used and abused all of my resources including my bank account, apartment, puppy, and family. The breaking point came one day...

We were laying in bed at his shithole of an apartment with my dog snoozing at our feet. He volunteered to take my dog out (and smoke a cigarette- which was another one of my dealbreakers I ignored for him) and I just couldn't help myself. His phone was lying there, and I gave it a cursory snoop for the first time. Turns out, he had been cheating on me with his ex. Not a huge shocker. What actually made me lose all respect was the fact that HE HAD MY NAME MISSPELLED IN HIS PHONE. Yes. This piece of shit man who added nothing of value to my life, while simultaneously draining me of all my resources, couldn't even bother to spell my name properly in his phone. I was done.

Fast forward to the last 4 years, I met my husband who is undoubtedly a HVM. He has never asked me for a dime, supports me in all career ventures, never pressured me for children (I am childfree), loves my family, brings NO stress into my life... Just please don't ever fucking settle. There is not an abundance of HVM but hold strong to your standards and you will be much better off. Don't let these losers guilt you into taking care of them. They will never truly respect the things you do. Instead, find a man who will spoil you rotten and support the life you want to live. It's 100% worth it.