Overstating the obvious: if she's truly into you, sex happens. If not, it doesn't?

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June 20, 2020
59 upvotes

True story... way back in my skinny, needy, nice-guy beta days... when i was about 20 in college, I dated a girl for about a year. I took her out every weekend (movies, clubs, dinner, whatever) and everytime back to my dorm room. And nearly every time she found some excuse to turn down my advances for sex. Why did I persist? She was definitely hot looking, and it was nice to always have someone to go out with every weekend. And I was a needy beta.

I found out that about 2 years before me she had a LTR with a guy she almost married. By TRP standards, he fit a lot of the description of an alpha chad. She apparently fucked him a LOT. I would ask, "so why not me?". After learning TRP all the reasons are obvious.

First question: anyone ever been in a situation like this.... you take her out all the time, she has a great time, but she never wants to fuck you?

As the years went by, I tried to NOT repeat this situation. Although TRP didn't exist yet, I had this gut feeling that I should try to fuck every girl I date ASAP to see if she's truly into me. Some girls were willing right away, some never wanted to. This was my screening process to see if a girl was TRULY into me or not, and it seems to work. When TRP came along it seemed to confirm this.

Second question: (edit: like my post title says) If a girl is truly into you, she'll fuck you. If not, she won't.

Third question: anyone else here try to screen girls by going for it ASAP? And if she fucks, she gets more of my time and attention... and if she doesn't she won't?


Post Information
Title Overstating the obvious: if she's truly into you, sex happens. If not, it doesn't?
Author krunchtimer
Upvotes 59
Comments 33
Date 20 June 2020 11:55 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/696147
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/hcl2p3/overstating_the_obvious_if_shes_truly_into_you/
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Comments

[–]IXseed25 points26 points  (5 children) | Copy

Pretty much. If she's down you get the pussy. If she's not you get an excuse. Can you change a no to a yes? Sometimes. But your time is better spent elsewhere.

[–]ddd13371 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Is it possible that even if you turned her on on the first date and made her wet with kisses on the neck and etc. she will still reject sex cause it's only the first date? I had girl wet on the first date but couldn't get sex, so curious is it some power play from her or I just wasn't good enough for her? I never speak about sex (unless verbally escalating) and kino is my favorite thing to do so I take it slow.

[–]IXseed8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm gonna go with it this way where is she may be into you BUT

So think about it like this, if some big wildebeest looking bitch was playing with your junk, you prolly wont get hard (I know from experience. Don't ask. My dick is going inwards just thinking about it). So if she's wet there's some "into you" there but not enough that her mind still works. Some guys call it ASD/LMR. But basically the fact that her logic brain is still working means she isn't fully under your spell yet. Boyfriend material. She could see fucking you but it's not a NEED for her to do it, so she'll make you wait and maybe get something better outta this.

[–]ddd13370 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks dude for putting it this way. Appreciate it.

[–]Alzatorus7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Check out 'plausible deniability' within the context of TRP. If she is able to blame you for what she sees as "slutty behaviour" then she's more likely to go-ahead with it.

[–]ddd13371 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Been reading it a lot lately. Thanks dude. You are very on point.

[–]Psychological_Radish16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy

First question: anyone ever been in a situation like this.... you take her out all the time, she has a great time, but she never wants to fuck you?

Yep. Ashamed to say that I dated a girl for three solid months and she never once touched my dick. I never said anything to her about it, thinking that she should want to fuck me, not just because I "pressured" her into it or whatever. Unsurprisingly she dumped me because 'we didn't have a connection'...the only time I've been ever been dumped. That really caused me to question a lot of my beliefs about girls, sex, and relationships, eventually leading me here.

If a girl is truly into you, she'll fuck you. If not, she won't.

Yes. Genuine desire, as Rollo calls it.

anyone else here try to screen girls by going for it ASAP? And if she fucks, she gets more of my time and attention... and if she doesn't she won't?

I wouldn't call it screening necessarily. I go for sex on the first date because that's what I want. If all guys were honest with themselves, they would do the same, because no hot blooded male ever said the words "I would rather fuck her later."

The girl I mentioned was the last straw in a string of failed romances where I never got laid out of the interaction. At that point I just told myself "you know what? Fuck this. The next girl I meet, I'm just going to be direct and bang the shit out of her like all those 'asshole' guys would." And that's exactly what I did. Ironically I ended up dating that girl for 1.5 years. That was before I even discovered TRP, but coming here confirmed everything I suspected before.

[–]krunchtimer[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

not just because I "pressured" her into it

Oh I defintely tried every form of pressure and persuation with that girl I mentioned, and she ALWAYS found a reason for "not tonite" ... and like a stupid beta I let it persist.

I go for sex on the first date because that's what I want.

Agreed, that's me too. But a secondary reason is that it's a very effective screening method?

[–]Psychological_Radish2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well yeah, it's a screening method if you're looking for more than sex. But my position is that that shouldn't even be a thought in your brain until after you seal the deal. And even then, many girls are spinning plates themselves and have preferences among those guys. It's not uncommon that I get ghosted after a same night lay.

[–]Alzatorus42 points43 points  (7 children) | Copy

Depends what you're looking for. If it's plates then a girl that fucks on call is obviously beneficial. If you're considering a FWB or more then a ho is a no-go 😂. I've found that those that fuck quickly are often insecure, needy, have higher risk of cheating if you date them (due to the aforementioned traits) and are a pain in the ass with the constant shit tests. Those girls stay as plates with an eventual soft next.

For your last question, I don't believe that it's quite as black and white as "in to you = sex" - speaking from my own experience, it comes down to how you treat sex. If you put pressure on it then you're not going to get laid as she will feel like and eventually convince herself that she's doing you a favour and it's not for her. Over the past three years I've only ever been turned down twice. The first time was the standard "I'm too tired" to which I replied "thank god, honestly, I was only going there because I thought you wanted to" ..... Not even 10 mins later she was on top of me, unsolicited.... 😂 the second time was the standard "I'm not in the mood" to which I gave her the most flat out 'wtf' stare and said "what's wrong, are you I'll? I'm fucking hot, so you must be ill." 😂 She wanted to 'just cuddle' as in lay down and spoon, so I thought 'nah' and started to study while letting her lay across me while I read. Had sex in the morning. There are also times I will say (as an FYI and unsolicited) "I'm not in the mood tonight" which will also set you apart from what she's used to.

I honestly think it comes down to how you handle sex and the shit tests surrounding it. Don't put pressure on it. Be playful and DNGAF either way. Sex will then be on tap. It's the guys that get in a piss about her saying no that enable her to do so. Flip the dynamic on her constantly so that she's not the one leading the sexual side of whatever you've got going on. Just my input and what has worked well for me. Because I'm so playful and light-hearted with the topic, there are times Ive just playfully slapped a girl's ass that I'm messing with and told her to get in bed 😂

[–]Ciabbata31 points32 points  (6 children) | Copy

😂

[–]Chadster11320 points21 points  (5 children) | Copy

😂

[–]Dripshiro16 points17 points  (4 children) | Copy

😂

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

[–]Avicythe6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

You ruined it.....😂

[–]Alzatorus3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You reclaimed it.....😂

[–]Chadster1132 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You nailed it.....😂

[–]2319Skew11 points12 points  (8 children) | Copy

  1. No. If there's no passion it's over for her.

  2. A woman you just met won't fuck if she's not into you but may fuck if nothing better shows up. A woman you're already seeing will throw a BJ or pity sex your way. To keep you around.

  3. I try to fuck on the first date. It helps me understand what her sexuality is like and her interest. I also go in with no expectation of sex but by date 3 if there's no sex then I just bail.

[–]ddd13372 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Stupid question but I'll ask. Have there been situations where you weren't able to get sex on the 1st date but got it on the 2nd or 3rd? I just can't understand what's the difference for girl to fuck on the first date or 3rd date, cause my escalation doesn't change, probably attraction level with more dates going only decreases, she just gets more comfortable with me on the proceeding dates, but being comfortable doesn't mean attracted. Do you escalate differently if the 1st date wasn't successful?

[–]2319Skew11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

Not a stupid question. Long reply because I'll give you a few pointers.

There are tons of times where I don't get sex on the first date but I do have a high close ratio because I screen for women that give me IOIs that show high interest and am attractive enough to get a pass for making some mistakes. So my close on a first date is around 70%.

I don't downplay my sexuality or my advances since I'm trying to display that this is a sexual relationship so I don't change or adjust my advances much. If it doesn't go well on the 2nd date then I usually abort but there were times where I give it another shot and take it to a date #3 where if I don't score then I just next her.

Sometimes you get ASD because she's not in a good frame. That's OK. Still be outcome independent and have fun with her, make her comfortable that you're not going to fuck and leave, or judge her for taking 3 dicks that one time in college.

Remember, she wants to fuck you. You're your own worst enemy when it comes to dates. Keep the topic about her, spike her emotions, and make sure that you have solid logistics. For fucks sakes...KINO. I've shot myself in the foot so many times before because I didn't escalate through touch.

Here's something that works for me.

I like to take them out for a drive in 3 different places before I bring them home.

Not only does it give her the impression of 3 dates in 1 but it also spikes her emotions since I'm taking the lead, everyone in those venues knows me, I'm comfortable in that area, and we're always doing something new.

Try your own variant. Hit up 3 places nearby each other.

Usually, it's a park, coffee place, and a nearby restaurant or bar for me. Kino up each time you get progressively more daring but pull back occasionally so she's doing some of the chasing.

These venues are also low cost.

At the park, hold her close and let her talk about herself. When you're starting to get bored or you're noticing that she's getting really comfortable/not comfortable enough with you, then head up to a coffee place with a "I'm in the mood for coffee. I know this amazing place nearby, let's go."

Repeat with the bar but aim for a kiss on the bar. It's a lot easier to escalate towards sex when she's turned on.

If at any point you feel like she's pushing back too much or you're not getting any interest vibe from her then you have two wonderful plays.

You can go to the bathroom. MSG a friend to hit you up with a call in 10 minutes and then take the call on the date. Tell your date that you had a great time but something came up and that you'll be in touch.

You can either order her an uber or drop her off. This keeps the date possibility for round 2.

If you don't think there's a round 2 then you can just be direct "I don't think we're very compatible. I had a great time though and it was nice to meet you." Then just go.

Don't go into details. Don't defend your actions. Just bail. Had this work in my favor before where she hit me up right away and we fucked right afterwards.

Oh and bonus tip. Have at least 2 condoms on you and 2 in the car. Some women are down for raw dog but you don't want to get an STI or one of them pregnant. If she's offered it for you then she's offered it to another guy for sure.

[–]krunchtimer[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like to take them out for a drive in 3 different places before I bring them home.

Not only does it give her the impression of 3 dates in 1

I notice that when I've taken a girl to multiple places on the same date (IE: starbucks -> movie -> sit in a park -> my place) that sex tends to happen more often.

[–]ddd13371 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Appreciate the time you took to give us that info. By solid logistics you mean you always go on a date with car? Even if you are going to drink at bar?

Also nice thing with 3 different venues, that really makes her more comfortable with you and you get more social proof and she understands you do shit in your life.

As to condoms, I never fuck without wrapping it up. And yup I have more than one condom cause I like going multiple rounds.

[–]DucardthaDon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I go by the 2nd-3rd date rule for sex but this is usually with women of a high smv. When I have had sex on the first date it has been with women with low smv 4's, 5's hell even times there's been no actual date just straight to fucking and then I'm done with them for good.

[–]krunchtimer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I just can't understand what's the difference for girl to fuck on the first date or 3rd date

Has anyone ever considered sometimes this may be related to her cycle?

Example 1: 1st date she's ovulating, and fucks you silly. The next weekend... 7 days later... she's perioding. No sex.

Example 2: 1st date she's perioding and doesn't want you near her pussy. Next weekend... 7 days later... no period, she's g2g.

Maybe this happens a lot more than we realize?

[–]Alzatorus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Check my comment about 'plausible deniability' above

[–]Kabuki4318 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

If it's a "date" i make it clear it's gonna be wine dine and 69. No free meal ticket here

[–]acoltismypassport5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

My opinion has always been the following: unless she's injured, or is recovering from a health condition, sick, or otherwise immobilised (even, say, from her period,) then sex shouldn't ever be something she denies you.

I can literally only recall one incidence when a girl rejected me for sex outright, and that was my first relationship (pre-'TRP') when I was 19. Has never happened since, not even once.

Men and women are not that different. Ask yourself: if you were in good health and physically had the time, why would you NOT fuck your girl?

[–]krunchtimer[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

even, say, from her period,

Aside from the LTR I mentioned in my original post (when I was a needy beta) I have a deep gut feeling that the majority of times a girl refused my escalations was because she was having her period, and was too embarrassed to admit it.

But twice I've been with girls who admitted they were having their periods and were willing to give me a BJ as a sort of "substitute".

That might make for an interesting question here: "What do you say to a girl to get her to admit she's having her period and give you a BJ instead?"

[–]acoltismypassport1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You could be right there.

As for a compromise in the form of some dome or a handy/anal, it really depends on the girl. Some chicks are completely voided of all sexual desire when they're on their period; others view it as an inconvenience, and will offer up ass, their mouth or whatever as a temporary solution. In the case of the former, I've never forced it, as I personally get pleasure from knowing SHE is getting pleasure. With the latter, sit back and enjoy.

[–]slip-down0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes.

[–]aesky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

stop using sex for validation

[–]peachez200-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe you were just bad at sex bro

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

In my experience, if your dick isn't inside her at some point during a first date, you're not seeing her again. And even then not for sure



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