Online but won’t respond?

mightbethrowawayyy · 2020-06-16T22:23:04+00:00

Girl, drop him. He’s not interested in talking to you. You’ve done everything you can. Now don’t text him again and if he texts you, I wouldn’t respond. He has lost his chance for good

curlygirl507 · 2020-06-16T22:23:37+00:00

This is normal. He just lost interest because he only wanted the chase. Just stop talking to him and move on.

FurryBellyButt0n · 2020-06-16T21:43:57+00:00

It's tough to have the self-awareness to instinctively know a person you were emotionally investing your time with is not reciprocating the same emotional investment you are with them. It hurts and it can feel shitty for sure.

It can feel like you "did something wrong" or it can feel like you want to reach out more because you sense them pulling away. Those feelings are valid and completely okay to feel, but take some time to reflect on their actions to be able to fully assess the situation without those feelings so you have full clarity on the situation.

The situation (take all feelings out of the situation before reading):

You and a potential love interest were talking long-distance to get to know each other on a personal level and he was consistently texting you throughout the day as well as initiating contact/virtual dates. This did not mean you two were considered a "potential love interest" on both ends (him feeling the same as you), just that you perceived him as a potential love interest and established a communication pattern via texting routine with him. Since he initially initiated, you are aware of when he is online and is available to text. You also know how simple it is to text or message a person as it's not very time consuming, even for the most busiest of human beings.
Once you two got into a text routine (or "texting trap" IMO), he sensed you were invested so he stopped putting any effort into reaching out to you or putting energy into moving the relationship forward. I am assuming this because him initiating occurred for a duration of time, was sustained, then subsided. To me that reads that he was interested, knows you are now hooked/invested, and now feels he can put minimal/low effort towards you.
Since you noticed distance and him not initiating, you started initiating conversations and virtual dates because you feel like there was something off between you two. And there is. But I don't think it's because he is busy because he had a life before he stopped texting you and still made time to do it. He knows when you are available to connect. He is choosing not to read your messages or respond to you. He is sending you a message. The message is he isn't interested right now and is putting minimal effort in because he knows you are invested.
You confronted him about him pulling away and he choose to tell you a standard answer because he is a non-confrontational LVM. He could tell you the truth, but he wants to know he can continue to reach out to you when he feels it's "right" for him, yet will not have the human decency to acknowledge your presence by even reading your messages. He even is avoiding you at this point because he would rather ghost you and send you that message than tell you what he is really feeling inside. That's not HV behavior IMO

The texting trap is a false sense of emotional intimacy and investment IMO and puts women in a bad position if they over-invest or read into their behaviors.

I am sure it hurts, but I wanted to breakdown the story of what their behavior is telling me as an outsider looking in. Keep staying strong Queen and do not text him.

He is telling you by refusing to acknowledge your presence. Why would you want to let that energy infiltrate your radiant spirit and presence? There are better things that await you

hopeful_flounder93 · 2020-06-17T12:11:17+00:00

Awww, you found your first avoidant! 😍 He will spend his entire life repeating this cycle with potential partners. Block & delete (they HATE that) 🥰

Title	Online but won’t respond?
Author	sfshia
Upvotes	16
Comments	8
Date	June 16, 2020 6:17 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ha9ftf/online_but_wont_respond/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/online-but-wont-respond.697091 https://theredarchive.com/post/697091

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