What’s going on here?

[deleted] · 2018-12-14T17:19:39+00:00

You left her hanging for too long and didn't show enough interest.

The shit is push-pull, not push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push some more.

t0rches · 2018-12-14T17:04:48+00:00

You came off as

too detached that it was just confusing and wishy washy.
you acted reactively to her.

I'll explain.

i see where you're coming from with waiting two weeks to text her, and being aloof to her not engaging in the phone call and ending it. however, you went a little too hard on this. two weeks is too long to wait to text a girl you just hooked up with once. she's obviously hooked because she immediately called you, but you probably lost some momentum in those two weeks. also telling her not to call you back. if you wanna talk to her then you wanna talk to her, so talk to her.
ending the call and telling her not to call you back was effectively shutting yourself down because she wasn't engaging enough. don't let her actions determine yours.

Overall hoes gonna be hoes and she's probably sleeping with some other dude now who she was busy texting and i wouldn't take it personally, follow up by hooking up with her again and see if you can gain that momentum back.

Ricklogical · 2018-12-14T17:38:23+00:00

You sound like an asshole playing games.

When you text someone think of it in real life. You walk up and say "Sara" she walks up and says "yeah" and you just sit there playing on your phone in front of her for an our till she says "?" then you stand there and play on your phone 2 more hours then look up for a moment and say "call me"

Imagine her side of it, you don't know how to communicate, or every time you went to communicate you were suddenly so busy you couldn't complete your action.

She calls anyways and you do alright, but then threw her off with the 3-some comment which apparently she didn't want to give you an answer of 'no' probably because she's not socially conditioned to respond like a bitch, even though bitch vibes are definitely present in the way she responds.

She began to show you about as much interest as you have shown her, in reaction to facing verbally these facts. She still wanted to talk but now she's busy. Most people, regular busy adults, ARE generally in the middle of something when they get a 'call me' out of nowhere from someone they haven't really heard from in 2 weeks that they really wanted to hear from 1 week and a half ago but didn't.

You've got better shit to do and she's looking to find herself in the same situation. You told her not to call back, when she said she would call you back. She disobeyed your request and called back anyways, you don't control her and she still wants to communicate with you.

She rings twice and remembers you said not to call and gives it up. She tosses her phone wherever and goes back to her life. Without you, because you are a pain in the ass and a waste of thought, expectation and attention.

When you are texting you are in her frame, when you are talking on the phone, you are less in her frame, but still very much in her frame. Months after being with her, all of this might change, or weeks, or whatever. Once you know her well enough to intuitively guess her next move, or her reactions to most of your typical social behaviors. Shit like that. At that point, you know her well enough, she probably thinks about you, talks about you with the people around her nonstop. Till that happens, any distance puts you in her frame, or the frame of whatever little group of birds she's twittering with.

I'd never fuck you again, but she might be more patient. Be less dismissive unless she's plate #3 on the way out because you have better options. She's something you want to enjoy and fuck, not a robot you can have on call.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-15T00:16:19+00:00

I told her to not call back.

Depends on how you said this but this could've easily been read as you coming off as butthurt.

The convo lasted 5 minutes. So I didn’t get around to setting up a date.

wtf how. My conversations are 2 minutes max and I get a place and time as well as some quick flirting.

I think she's trying to see if you'll chase her right now but that's a wild guess.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2018-12-17T01:47:07+00:00

She lives two hours away? Then you should already have had a plan in mind and possible logistics...

Why did you msg her, then? What was the purpose?

She's wanting you to lead...and you just played in vague circles. To me, it comes off like you didn't have an intention, or plan, or anything....and were like...just weirdly fucking around on the phone.

Skuggasveinn · 2018-12-14T18:45:51+00:00

We got some Sherlock Holmes motherfuckers here.

_the_shape_ · 2018-12-14T17:50:53+00:00

Ah, the good ol' "there's this one chick" scenario. The truth is, that at it's core, this usually boils down to an issue centered on a lack of abundance.

You need to acquire a taste first for closing deals, then you move on to closing bigger and better deals, not spending your time being thrown around by "maybes".

The better deals, of course, become more easily obtainable the better the product - that means, of course, you.

CainPrice · 2018-12-14T18:51:22+00:00

You were being weird and confusing.

You texted her, out of the blue. She responded promptly, indicating that she is interested and possibly down...then you didn't respond.

A full hour later, she texts you again, further indicating her interest...and you didn't respond for another hour.

Then all you text back is "call me", and she calls immediately, further indicating her interest and that she's possibly down...

Then you don't set anything up and just kind of chat about her job. WTF? She's wondering what you were even texting her about. You're supposed to be setting up your next hook up and you're chatting about her job?

Then, out of the blue, you ask if she's down for a threesome, she has to go for some reason, and you tell her not to call back.

You're being weird and confusing and even a little creepy.

She's already hooking up with you. She's already responding promptly to your communications. All you have to do is set up the hook up, and you're shitting around sending weird-ass, random texts, then waiting two hours to respond, and when you finally do start talking you chit-chat about her job? What the fuck?

Title	What’s going on here?
Author	Kidcurry
Upvotes	1
Comments	13
Date	December 14, 2018 4:52 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a66jdj/whats_going_on_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/whats-going-on-here.70659 https://theredarchive.com/post/70659

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