I wasn’t sure where to post this. But I feel like you ladies ten to give very good, unfiltered advice.

My issue has been that I struggle with what I would call depression. I have been diagnosed in the past so I’m not diagnosing myself.

Essentially I wake up one day and realize I haven’t cared about anything for the last few weeks (months if it is spring). For example, I realized on Sunday that I haven’t worn make up in at least 2 months. I just didn’t even think to. I didn’t care enough that when my girls started playing with it I didn’t care. But I realized how tired I looked and that I’d like to put some make up on. That’s when I thought “I haven’t looked at myself and cared for months”.

The same thing with the house. I am not a tidy person by nature. And I can’t “see” it when I’m in this state of depression. It’s like it doesn’t exist. The last few days I’ve been noticing like “why is there a spoon on the book shelf?”

I think there’s several things at play... I get caught up with focusing on one thing that I forget other things. For the last 6+ months I’ve been very focused on weight loss. That tends to be at the forefront and I forget other things. Also stress is a big factor. I’ve been back at work after being off for 3 months (which were actually fantastic and I dream of quitting or cutting my hours way back). We’ve been settling into a routine again but it’s been hard with 4 kids and homeschooling and working (but not really working? I’m a massage therapist and I go days without actually getting work).

Essentially - I don’t know how to see that I am depressed when I am and then I can be proactive about doing things I need (like getting more sleep or forcing myself out with friends). I tend to get very isolated and I’ve lost friendships because I ghost people for months and just don’t see it. I read Atomic Habits and I almost feel like setting up automatic habits would help? I don’t know. I thought I’d get some feedback from other people to gets clarity! I realize this is disjointed and I hope it makes sense.