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Unlikely-Marzipan
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[+][deleted] 6 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. I’m happy to not get married tbh - but if I do get married, he’s going to have to have money and be generous!
Oh and as long as he’s not controlling. I’m sick of being with controlling men like I was in my past.
[–]FDSxMuffinVSratFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's actually such a good way to look at it.
For me, I didn't used to prioritize looks. Now I think, well, if seemingly all guys are going to eventually cheat on me, if I'm going to take that chance, he better be hot.
Insert, hot generous, an astronaut. I've I'm going to risk taking a chance on someone, they better have something to offer.
[–]crazycraftyladyFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m so happy for you! This gives me hope lol I would say to keep soaking up these things while you’ve got them. He sounds really sweet and definitely knows how to treat a lady!
Kinda nosy, but you said it was still early and that he was planning an overnight trip. Have you guys slept together yet?
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks! That’s what I figured - I’ll just enjoy it while I can. Yea we have slept together (I didn’t follow FDS advice with that part 🤭) I do stay at his place sometimes - and every time he buys/ makes me dinner, gives me wine, and then takes me out for breakfast in the morning (or goes out to buy a coffee and brings it to me in bed).
Still early days (2 months) but I’m enjoying it while it lasts! His parents still seem to have a nice relationship, so I’m hoping he follows in those footsteps.
But if he changes and I discover anything LV then I’m out asap
[–]painmakesyoustrongerFDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Sounds alright, just be careful and take inventory of what you have to offer him big picture, because some men invest a lot up front because they’re getting a better payoff.
For example, access to your wealth were you to marry, living in your nice home for free/cheaply, sex, benefitting from your good credit.
Keep us updated!
ETA: it’s promising that you have had sex already and he’s keeping it up. Sounds like a man in love.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes such a good point! Something I’ve thought about too so I’m glad you bought it up, so it’s not just me being paranoid. Thank you!
How would you think you could get around this? Makes me feel like perhaps I should pay for some things to avoid this? Or is it more just if you marry or he lives with you?
To be honest, i think I’ll stay single for life and not marry or have a man live with me. Just don’t want them getting through any loopholes!
[–]painmakesyoustrongerFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don’t know enough to give you proper advice, but follow your gut. I’ve always paid my fair share or more with men only because a) I can afford everything I want on my own and b) I never want to feel indebted to them in any way.
I’ve had a “wealthy” man I dated try to lease a penthouse with me because I have impeccable credit and his was shot (I always background check immediately now), and he could never lease it on his own. I obviously declined.
You can never be too careful when it comes to your safety, money, credit or home. When things go south, you must consider the consequences.
If ever you feel concern, just talk to him about it. Great relationships are founded on great communication.
[–]sunset74420FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sister
Thank you. I don't know. Maybe it's because I have really been through some shit in the past few years, but it's really taught me not to take a guy who is very attentive/generous in the beginning at face value. If at any point you just get the gut feeling that something is just off, please listen to it. Don't dismiss it as paranoia. Watch what you tell this guy, and be wary of a guy that wants to help you with your finances or do shit for you around your house this early in the game. Especially if you did not ask him to. This guy may seem like the oasis in a desert of stingy, low effort dudes that don't listen, and maybe I am interpreting things the wrong way, but this amount of effort just seems inappropriate for the amount of time you two have been dating. He has enough money to drop 100s on dinner and offer to help with bills, and also has the kind of schedule where he can drop everything to help you do manual labor for the day? If any of this seems inconsistent with his living situation or what he says he does for a living, that is something to pay attention to.
And one other thing that got me curious - how do you know two months in that this guy's parents seem to have a good relationship? Just throwing it out there.
Have a good time and enjoy yourself. But please be careful.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
These are really good points and things I’ve thought I have to consider also. I’m such a sceptic that I just most times don’t think men are all that great and they must be always hiding something. He does have a good trade where he works for himself, and has been in it long enough that he can pick and choose when he works but a lot of guys around my area are like that, if they keep their living expenses fairly low.
Oh we have actually known each other for 2 years but just chatted for a while, as I had another boyfriend and then reconnected again more recently.
But not minimising your points - definitely keeping my eyes peeled and will leave if something seems off. I’m so over relationships as it is that I’m not bothered if I do end up single again, which to be honest, I’m assuming I will be one of the women that goes their own way soon enough.
I just figured I would enjoy being spoiled for the time being but maybe it’s not worth it.
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is great! I hope he keeps it up!
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[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FDSxMuffinVSratFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]crazycraftyladyFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]painmakesyoustrongerFDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]painmakesyoustrongerFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sunset74420FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link