LTR wants me to delete pictures of me and other girls on my Instagram

KeffirLime · 2018-12-24T07:58:53+00:00

It's a comfort test, she will not reward you for complying, in fact it'll erode attraction. The more comfort you give her the less she has to work for your approval.

Caving in to her frame can only hurt you.

She chose to date you, she does not get to now edit things to her liking.

You're going to have to get comfortable making these calls, they're hard in the moment but it's kinda like dealing with a child. She'll throw a tantrum but it's whats best for her in the long run, it'll keep her interested and happy in the relationship.

Crowstarz · 2018-12-24T08:04:40+00:00

Do whatever the fck you want.if she feels threathened about some pics,that's a red flag already. Its all about you in the end.

itiswr1tten · 2018-12-24T08:42:35+00:00

You've gotten some decent advice. I'll add:

Internally remember that she is already attracted to you. Changing that guy too much doesn't reap benefits.

You messed up by saying the reason you won't remove the post is so not to hurt people's feelings. This is dishonest, and gave her the wrong idea that you're prioritizing other women over her. This is a common complaint in any relationship, "THESE GIRLS MATTER MORE THAN ME?".

I've heard it a million ways. Course correct not by explaining it to her, making a logical argument, or any of those other stupid masculine ways you'll try and convince her. Fix it by telling her when she brings it up again, which she will, "I understand how you feel. I've felt the same with past partners. But I've found happiness in our relationship and don't feel the past changes how happy I am with you in the present"

This is a sales technique called Feel Felt Found that validates her position before effectively dismissing it. Appeal to emotion

Smallville360 · 2018-12-24T09:45:19+00:00

KeffirLime says all, what a great post.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2018-12-24T12:08:25+00:00

She knew the terms when she signed up. I'd tell her I don't need to edit my life. If she keeps meeting my needs, she doesn't need to worry. If she's not comfortable with some photos, she can always leave.

Hold frame...they never really want you to break it.

You break frame, delete photos, she loses attraction...and get left with your dick in your hand wondering 'why, I did what she wanted'.

You did what she wants...signifies weakness. Put your wants first. Her emotional response to it, is her responsibility, not yours.

SmackinDatAss · 2018-12-24T15:01:54+00:00

> I told her I wouldn’t remove them because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

This was a mistake on two levels: First, you basically told her that you care more about those people's feelings than hers.

Most importantly, it was a mistake because you entered into her frame. The correct answer would be, "No, I like those pictures because they were taken at a fun time." You are keeping the pictures for your own reasons and not someone else's reasons.

Rkingpin · 2018-12-24T11:12:18+00:00

Ignore. Don't fall into her frame

flatox · 2018-12-24T13:49:34+00:00

Oh so she wanta you to delete the pictures, well best do what your mom tells you then lol

throwawaybpdnpd · 2018-12-24T16:22:23+00:00

Wow that is a huge red flag... don’t cave in, it will only get worst if you do.

Let her have her tantrum like a little kid

wheel_ · 2018-12-24T17:43:12+00:00

Don’t delete the pictures. They give you social proof. Frame up and don’t cave in.

[deleted] · 2018-12-25T01:28:43+00:00

Tell her to fuck off

821sleepingbag · 2018-12-24T14:21:14+00:00

Tell her to get fucked. DARE anytime she raises the issue in the future. Punish her by withdrawing your attention every time she does it.

Title	LTR wants me to delete pictures of me and other girls on my Instagram
Author	MoneyAndHoneys
Upvotes	7
Comments	18
Date	December 24, 2018 7:43 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a93180/ltr_wants_me_to_delete_pictures_of_me_and_other/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-wants-me-to-delete-pictures-of-me-and-other.71425 https://theredarchive.com/post/71425

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