Girls who succeeded on online dating, I have questions!

Elegant-Stop · 2020-07-07T19:33:49+00:00

You can absolutely do everything right and still only find men that want hookups. The handbook helps you quickly weed out the guys that say they want to get to know you but really just want to hook up.

When a guy is really interested in you (which is harder to accomplish with OLD imo) the rest is easy. I wish I had a “hack”, but really you just have to live your best life until the right HVM comes along.

BasieSkanks · 2020-07-07T19:34:49+00:00

I’ve been seeing someone I met online since March. So far, so good, although he’s still on probation. I think the biggest thing for me was stating that I wanted a long term, serious relationship. Be unequivocal about it. The guy I’m currently seeing wants the same thing and we had a discussion in our first conversation where we basically agreed that we would like to work towards something long term and serious. Doesn’t mean that will happen, but it’s nice to know we are on the same page. All his actions since have pointed towards that. I ended up getting fewer matches and responses, but the responses I did get were of better quality. I know OLD gets a bad rep on here, but I find it a lot easier to screen men online. They drop many, many cues in their online habits that you could potentially miss in real life.

Summerisle7 · 2020-07-07T20:11:02+00:00

I am married to a man I met 5 years ago through OLD. We are very happy and I truly believe he's HV.

Online dating is strictly a way to widen your pool of people to meet. It's just a cross-section of men, no better and no worse than the men you'd meet at work or through friends or in a bar or in a meetup group or whatever. You have to strictly vet them and not put up with any disrespect whatsoever, same as you'd do with someone you met "organically." Chatting online before meeting in person gives them the opportunity to lie and manipulate; but also, as someone else said below, gives you more opportunities to evaluate them for green and red flags.

I have so many tips and do's and don'ts that I learned over a year of OLD but I don't want this comment to be too long, lol. Once you've met in person and decided to start dating, the way to proceed is the same as if you'd met any other way. For the online stage in particular, I guess my biggest learnings were: 1) Don't keep chatting forever, if he doesn't ask you out on a real date (day + time + place) within a week or less, ghost him. And 2) Any raunchy or misogynist talk or profanity, ghost him.

RadioactiveJoy · 2020-07-07T19:35:43+00:00

I met a bunch of really amazing men. It just didn’t work because our futures didnt align. I have a very particular vision of my life. I have land and will be building my forever home so I can take care of my grandmother as she gets older. I don’t mind going on vacations or having property in another country that we could visit. But my home is my home, I’m not leaving.

I seem to attract/be attracted to men with careers or jobs that can make them move to a new country or across the continent. There’s also a bunch of other peculiarities with my wish list so my choices are narrow lmao. I quit the apps over covid though.

Deadgirl1888 · 2020-07-07T23:28:27+00:00

I think it was luck and also having firm boundaries. I saw him on bumble and sent him a message I got a good vibe from him and conversation was easy and nothing inappropriate. My dog was having severe anxiety issues at the time so we picked a restaurant close to me that my dog could also go to. He spent a long time calling places. We met up ate a ton of good food and talked until they closed down. When we left the restaurant he didnt make any moves on me and asked if I wanted to go out again in a few days. Then he told me he wanted to be exclusive and date and the last year and a half I've been with him have been really healthy and happy.

mightbethrowawayyy · 2020-07-07T21:44:43+00:00

Not really. I’ve been on dates with quite a few men from OLD and no one has ever remotely mentioned hookup. I would say it definitely has something to do with the topics you talk about (before first date) and how you present yourself on the date. If you make them feel you’re a respectable person, then it’s not very likely that they ask you for sex.

_wannaseemedisco · 2020-07-07T20:11:02+00:00

Luck. It's still early stages though, I'll report back in a few months.

Title	Girls who succeeded on online dating, I have questions!
Author	GlamorKiss
Upvotes	22
Comments	11
Date	July 7, 2020 1:57 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hmv0ao/girls_who_succeeded_on_online_dating_i_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/girls-who-succeeded-on-online-dating-i-have.715304 https://theredarchive.com/post/715304

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