Is Dating Even Worth It Right Now?

dntbfllikeidid · 2020-07-23T08:15:27+00:00

If I could go back in time to my 20’s I’d be focusing on finding and building a career, working on school and self improvement in general, as opposed to wasting my time with losers. Aaah, how I wish I could go back 10 years and re-do my life!

MalloryDame · 2020-07-23T06:32:52+00:00

[deleted]

painmakesyoustronger · 2020-07-23T13:39:26+00:00

My advice?

Do not go on dating apps.

Focus on school 100%.

If you happen to meet a guy during your time in school, great.

Now is the time to build financial security for the rest of your life.

Any quality man will notice your dedication to your studies and ask you out. Maybe he will find you in the library. Maybe he will get your number in class when he notices you asking a great question.

He will not appreciate you for you on Tinder. Or Bumble. Or at a party.

MalloryDame · 2020-07-23T11:07:30+00:00

Personally, I would not date but I'm a decade older than you and have had my share... However, if I could go back in time that's exactly what I would do. I regret not having focused on my career more (that's why I'm struggling financially), my needs, and my goals. Ultimately, the only good reason for one to be dating at your age is to experiment and see what you like, want and need in a partner so that in the future you can make better choices. (Also to fulfill any sexual needs you might have - do it in a healthy way). Definitely don't look for anyone to settle down and definitely always make sure to protect yourself emotionally, physically and mentally because there's a lot of shit out there ready to be picked up by unsuspecting victims.

My advice is that, but of course you should trust yourself and follow your gut. Believe me when I say there's no rush - people seem to want to pick "all the good ones" before they go but the truth is, more often than not, they're too young and immature to survive long-term. People need to grow alone first, then get together with someone else who's also gone through the journey. You can try the opposite but based on experience, it only leads to heartache and a lot of damage. Even those people who found their "soulmate" and got married young - some will definitely live a happy, fulfilling life, but most will just be miserable simply because they didn't take the time to get to know themselves and what they wanted/needed before making their choice, only to realize along the way it was the wrong one.

You're at the prime age for self-discovery and wasting that would be a terrible shame. You only get a few chances in life to do so!

CakeSprinklesUnicorn · 2020-07-24T05:41:44+00:00

Most guys in their 20s (and especially in college) are LVM who are looking to hook up or have short-term flings with no intention of marrying. It seems like most men don’t think of serious commitment or marriage until their 30s.

I’d say you have the right intuition. I wouldn’t really bother dating unless it was someone who had clear intentions of commitment.

jszly · 2020-07-23T06:58:17+00:00

What are you looking for? If you’re seeking out people you must be looking for something. As a 30 year old I can’t image OLD at 19. Sounds like a disaster waiting, but I idk we just didn’t have the option. When I was 19 I casually dated people I met through my friends circle or uni.

At that age, in retrospect, I personally would be getting to know myself better and focusing on setting future goals. Every relationship I had before 25 was a drain on my emotional health. I wasted time worrying about being good enough for others instead of good enough for myself. Focus on you.

With that said, I know a girls got needs! Just go on dates if you want, hook up if that’s your style but don’t if it’s not! and focus on friendships and yourself. Age does not matter in my opinion(within reason). Any 22 year old looking to settle down at 22 is delusional yes I said it.

If you’re legal and same maturity level who cares. Get nice guys to take you out, have good conversation with and use it to discover what you’re interested in. The handbook is great but experience is also the biggest teacher. It’s hard to apply things when you don’t have much experience dating. FDS is really for women who are done playing games, but unfortunately there are things you just need to experience to know. Like what the games are... Now at least you’ll know how not to get taken advantage of.

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