We hear time and time again "Watch how he treats his mom! It's how he will treat you / women". Okay, sure... but what about when it comes to standing up to her? IF he even does!

I don't know how much this has been discussed in this sub, but I've seen a rise in posts on how a man treats his mom, signs he could be a mommy's boy and warnings on those things etc. but I haven't seen much comments or warnings about this particular subject.

My ex was absolutely WONDERFUL to his mom. He'd always help out with the cleaning when we would go visit / eat there (something he never did for me, even after surgery - couldn't even bring me a glass of water), had great conversations with her, always a good time, never annoyed, treated her well.

And also!.. My ex's mother used to call me by his ex's name for years by "accident", would insinuate and straight up call me fat despite being in healthy (lower-middle) weight range (and she was in obese weight range), she'd buy me way too (obviously) small clothes, would make passive aggressive comments to me about how I "took her son away", etc. and often it was in front of him... And he'd say... nothing.

He would say nothing to her (which is weird as fuck because if my family talked to my boyfriend in that way I'd be SO upset) even after I had talked to him about how hurtful it was to me. Even after I asked him to please talk to her (hint hint... He refused). He said "naw, she loves you".

One time I was so fed up with it and going through too many things (this relationship would have me laughed the fuck out of FDS) that I told him I didn't want to go over. He got angry at ME telling me I was overreacting (RED FLAG).

Ladies, it IS a green flag if a man treats his mom with love and respect, but make sure there's no shit flags hidden behind it :( He was an absolute trash bag of a "man". Now... Is it that bad of a flag? No. But it's still a flag as it means he doesn't stand up for you being bullied or finds YOU to be annoying for not wanting to BE bullied and I don't want it to be ignored or pushed aside just because he "loves mommy" and "loving mommy is a green flag!".

TLDR; My ex was absolutely wonderful to his mom and he let her talk to me like trash during our entire 7 year relationship. Just because he's amazing to his mom, does not mean he will be amazing to you or women in general.

( Note : Also, YES I realize now that \I* could've said something to her. At the time, I had had a history of abusive relationships (he ended up being one of them lol), I was 18 years old, I was shy and was afraid to cause "drama" or cause a wedge between my ex and his mother as well as one between my ex and me. I'm very new to not taking shit from people, it only clicked to me now at 28. )*