Picking a career, but my goal is to be a stay at home mom

YakCat · 2017-08-02T19:38:05+00:00

I'm an at home systems admin for a U.K. Company. I learned it all to become a stay at home mom. Prior to this I was a freelance writer. My husband is a machine learning and AI developer who works from home as well. He is very in demand (I'm so proud) and even though we fly to different places around the globe every month or so with him giving talks or working with teams, I can easily always go and work from there.

We do this with our primary goal of having children and being able to be at home with them. It takes time management but I do housewife things (though we have a cleaning lady once a week) and do the cooking. With my work involving a lot of script running for 10-15 min at a time, I'll caffinate my system and get things done. I know once we have kids, I'll hire VAs to complete a lot of what I do and supervise. My work involves tasks and not set hours so if a server goes down or a client needs something, it could take me a few hours. Generally though, I work 3-4 hours 5 days a week. I make more then I did as a starting partner at a law firm and my days are ours. Also nothing makes me happier then getting to have lunch with my husband and bringing him pots of tea throughout our workday.

I truly believe in women learning to code in order for them to provide a better home for their families. It's very easy to work from home and to do part time as it's a task based gig most of the time. I believe that we add an empathetic viewpoint that helps us sympathize with clients and be more patient. We can also stay at home and raise our families.

Get experience right now. Take any gig. Don't undervalue your pricing (I did that too long). Get your GitHub and Linked in good. Contribute articles and get involved in the conversations. Learn to do VR and AR as firms specifically are looking for women right now. You can work from home in computer sciences easily but you need experience and you're young and can get it. 5 years from now you can be at home managing a MySQL database or something and being a homemaker at the same time.

2017-08-03T11:22:27+00:00

Anything around programing/coding. I work remotely full-time as for a Software as a Service (SaaS) startup as an engineer and product manager. I'm self taught; I started my career as a corporate attorney and took a development bootcamp course and fell in love.

As an introvert, it's also massively fulfilling for me because I have the energy I need to spend with my family and synagogue without spending my energy on useless chit chat with colleagues. There are days I put my headphones in and work for 8 hours straight. This also allows me to not stress over a commute, hit the gym daily, and have dinner ready each evening. I commute into NYC about once a month via train but we are fine with this.

I'm also able to do super fast spurts of cleaning around the house. Do an hour of work, declutter for 15. Another hour of work, fold laundry, etc. This way at night I'm able to spend time relaxed with family.

I'd urge you to check out r/learnprogramming, though you are probably likely solid here with your CS major :)

Many cities also have Women Who Code or Girls Develop It type networking groups with fabulous Intro to Programming courses.

Also, PM me if you're looking at an internship or job any time soon. We are always looking for bright, talented engineers to join our team! Good luck to you!

Salohcin22 · 2017-08-03T01:44:03+00:00

Holy crap, I'd like a wife like this, haha. I'm computer Science as well and you have to keep in mind that girls still get hired 2:1 in the field, and while things can change fast, people will always be willing to mentor and teach programmers that are willing to learn, especially if it's a girl programmer.

I'm pretty sure its easy to do Part time as a contractor. While STEM isn't for everyone and can be Really hard, especially since guys care more about things and ideas, once you make it, you'll be set.

You can find a husband in Computer Science as well because the girl to guy ratios are abysmal, like 13:1 in my university before I graduated. You could make a ton of money for a time before children, and if you didn't find a husband in college, any Software Engineer job you land that has other young people will have plenty of single guys that are a lot smarter and honest than the average guy.

You can start your own business as well online, and after the rigor of Comp Sci, you'll be well prepared to teach your kids a ton of stuff.

cabbagewagon · 2017-08-03T03:50:28+00:00

I went through this same dilemma in college - went for two years changing majors almost every semester because of it (including CS). Now, I study early childhood education and I couldn't be happier. My thought is along the same line as yours - after raising my own children, I'd like to go back to work. Learning about children's developing minds and putting that knowledge to practice is so fulfilling and I know it will benefit my own children in the future. Not to mention, working in the nursery makes me feel wonderful in so many ways. There's nothing like feeding a baby or rocking a baby to sleep. :)

Granted, you have to be very patient and kind in child care or you will emotionally damage the children. Try volunteering or working in a daycare/school before choosing this career path - it's not for everyone. Babysitting does not equal working as a teacher, and it will not give you an idea of what it's like to work in a classroom.

Good luck finding your path.

tempintheeastbay · 2017-08-02T18:31:49+00:00

It is going to be really hard to do part time STEM work. There aren't really part time jobs, and taking time off for kids is going to be hugely stigmatized compared to if you did the education or something similar. My sister is a nurse and it's not part time, but she works nights (3 12 hour shifts) so she is home quite often with her kids. Just an option if you want to stay more with science.

I definitely don't think you're too young to consider it! (although that might be because I'm about the same age lol)

Banincoming · 2017-08-02T19:30:55+00:00

Why incur debt, if the degree will not make you more money than it costs?

Nyquil-Junkie · 2017-08-02T23:48:13+00:00

If you are aiming to be a SAHM why waste all that money on an education?

Nyquil-Junkie · 2017-08-02T23:48:42+00:00

If you are aiming to be a SAHM why waste all that money on an education?

Nyquil-Junkie · 2017-08-02T23:49:03+00:00

If you are aiming to be a SAHM why waste all that money on an education?

Nyquil-Junkie · 2017-08-02T23:49:54+00:00

If you are aiming to be a SAHM why waste all that money on an education?

myrpwi_account · 2017-08-03T13:51:30+00:00

Are to dead set on computer science and/or STEM?

Have you considered nursing? You can work weekends or nights. You work 3 12's and have 4 days off. You can do part or full time. Of all the fields you have the highest chance of finding a job wherever you go.

When your kids get sick, as a nurse, you will know the questions to ask the doctor and how to take care of your child. The entire profession is dedicated to taking care of others.

Pay is not bad either. When the children get older you could go on and get your NP. Community college degrees for RN are less then $10,000.

You don't have to do bedside, you could be a school nurse when your kids are in school.

2017-08-02T22:50:17+00:00

my ex-landlord commuted to her office 2x a week; that's it. she otherwise worked from home.

like it or not, if you work from home you are going to feel miserable at times. you can always leave work, and mentally it's reassuring to have a home sanctuary to retrench to from the stress and conflict work cultivates.

if you wanna be a stay at home mom, don't do it out of fear of irrelevance and obsolescence in the workplace. do it out of desire. feel your fears, but pursue your dreams. have hobbies, if you decide to stay at home, subscribe to computer industry magazines or literature to stay abreast as your kids grow so you're not oblivious to revolutions in the industry etc., and maybe take a course or two or something sporadically. raising children is a full-time occupation, though, but be assured raising good children with love and strength is a completely underrated but magnificent project management goal.

theevilhillbilly · 2017-08-02T23:13:57+00:00

I've seen a few stay at home jobs for computer science stuff.

I think it's called remote offices or something like that.

asteadyheart · 2017-08-03T01:01:52+00:00

Out of curiosity, are you dating anyone right now? Are you foreseeing a marriage happening when you hope/want?

As for Comp Sci, it's not very conducive to a relationship (unless he is also STEM) let alone motherhood. But, it is possible to work remotely as a contractor. You won't get any benefits, but as long as you keep up with the changes in technology, you can be hired as a freelancer and work from home when you have time.

It would be ideal if you don't have to work at all while rearing children, but if you live in heavily populated/expensive area (and unless your husband makes a fortune) then you will need to be flexible about it.

Child development can be useful, but you really don't need a degree in child development to be a good mom. In my experience, not that I am yet a mother, you just need kindness, open-mind, patience, and ability to go with the flow.

My recommendation to you is to keep with Comp Sci, or at least some marketable major where you CAN make money in the event you don't become a wife/mother soon after you graduate. If you graduate as child development and your desire to get married doesn't happen, then you might be stuck having to also go for a teaching credential which can add even more to your schooling costs.

Title	Picking a career, but my goal is to be a stay at home mom
Author	dessertmami
Upvotes	22
Comments	31
Date	August 2, 2017 6:10 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6r63bw/picking_a_career_but_my_goal_is_to_be_a_stay_at/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/picking-a-career-but-my-goal-is-to-be-a-stay-at.73236 https://theredarchive.com/post/73236

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