Why are emotional and empathetic men perceived as weak?

octocombo · 2020-11-29T05:51:00+00:00

the majority of people do NOT prefer leaders like Donald Trump (he didn't win the popular vote in 2016 or this year)
cultural history & categorization of emotional responses as "effeminate"
it makes people feel safer to have an authoritarian leader when their own lives are uncertain

cast-away-ramadi06 · 2020-11-29T05:57:16+00:00

I've finally understood this after talking to a lot of women about it. When a woman says they want an 'emotional' man, they actually mean they want a man that understand their emotions but doesn't show his. It's sad that men are expected to be emotionless in a public setting, especially in front of someone like his partner but it's true. Women don't truly care about a man's emotions.

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SherbertBacon · 2020-11-29T05:25:58+00:00

I just can never seem to wrap my head around the idea that men who are emotionally open and empathetic are weak

Some of it's cultural. But some of it also a confusion between "emotional" and "neurotic." William Wallace after his wife gets raped and murdered is "emotional." Tristan getting laid because he weeps learning the death of his brother in Legends of the Fall is "emotional." Goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway: women find these dudes attractive.

What's probably seen as unattractive are neurotic types. Guys who are highly sensitive to situation and context, and very reactive to it. That shows instability and lack of confidence. Think of the guy who flips out when any little thing goes wrong.

We always tell each other our fears and experiences and it always puts me at ease and feeling less isolated from everyone else. Such men are rare though.

Yeah to me these sound like who are just comfortable talking about emotions. They're comfortable feeling them and recognizing them, and they're good listeners. But they aren't neurotic.

But it seems most people just prefer leaders like Donald Trump who only wish to divide and conquer instead of unifying their people.

IMO Donald Trump is not alpha. He's a rich loser that people label as "alpha" because he keeps accidentally flopping upwards and says inflammatory things. Most people follow the outcome and confer successful assumptions onto the recipient. That's why he has a following

2020-11-29T06:59:48+00:00

Honestly? I don't fucking know. While I would say a degree of stoicism is expected at an instinctual level, it seems that we've dialed it up to 11 over the course of history.

While Odysseus did see fit to hide his weeping from onlookers, the Homeric heroes were figures of rich passions, joy, melancholy and anger; Achilles' greatest moment is his moment of empathy for Priam and his memory of the father he'll never see again.

I'm tempted to blame the enlightenment and the scientific revolution.

passepar2t · 2020-11-29T07:05:23+00:00

For the record, Donald Trump is a weak and emotional man. I have no idea why you chose him as an example. Wanting to divide and conquer is not the opposite of being weak and emotional.

Laytheblameonluck · 2020-11-29T07:25:46+00:00

They aren't considered weak, people are neutral on that, but their openness is considered an easy target by the weak, at the bottom of the hierarchy.

Warmth and Competence are leadership qualities.

GunnzzNRoses · 2020-11-29T07:32:32+00:00

There's a big line between privately handling your emotions with your partner (being open in the right ways), versus letting your emotions come out in ugly ways because you don't address them.

Q-bert_dragonbreath · 2020-11-29T05:19:15+00:00

They aren't.

TLorrai · 2020-11-29T05:25:17+00:00

Because to be a man is to compete and to fight for your place in society. Someone has to protect the tribe. Someone has to fight the "enemy". Emphasizing with your opponent puts you at a disadvantage. So women have selected men who were, for lack of a better word, winners. These men consistently passed on their genes and inspired other men to be like them.

This is still prevalent in today's society it just manifests differently. The non-empathetic sociopaths are the ones at the top who do whatever is necessary to get ahead. These are the rich "go-getters" who occupy the upper economic bracket. Not saying all wealthy people are sociopaths. It just takes a certain mindset to get there. As for the normal rest of us, these stoic leader types still excel in their environments. Whether that's work or relationships. They can think rationally about what they want and how to get it. They're usually smart enough not to hurt people along the way. It's why the "player" is so attractive to women. He says what he wants and tells you what he expects of you. If hurts your feelings then you can move on. It's not always pretty but the directness of his presence is still magnetic. The caring "nice-guy" might not want to make a bold move since it may jeopardize the relationship or make you feel uncomfortable.

TLDR: Life sucks and strong men do what it takes to make it better. Feelings be dammed.

Title	Why are emotional and empathetic men perceived as weak?
Author	Mayhem977
Upvotes	4
Comments	23
Date	November 29, 2020 5:11 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/k33m0y/why_are_emotional_and_empathetic_men_perceived_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-emotional-and-empathetic-men-perceived-as.732606 https://theredarchive.com/post/732606

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