Question about commitment

Laceandsilks · 2017-11-29T16:59:27+00:00

Your post directly conflicts with the RPW approach and is entirely inaccurate.

The thread has been removed and will not be approved. Do not push 'sex before commitment' to the women here.

Your inability to earn commitment is directly related to your vetting process and the men you target.

Rivkariver · 2017-11-29T14:38:12+00:00

I don't think it's inherent in men not to commit without sex. People did that for centuries when society enforced it. Society just doesn't anymore. I have talked to men who were teens in the 60s and they all went crazy about how they could sleep with women and not even have to marry them. At that immature age they took full advantage. If they were pressured by society to be different they would. In many ways it's not the best time to be a woman. In the name of feminism women gave up much of our power.

LateralThinker13 · 2017-11-29T14:44:39+00:00

it never works to have the relationship talk before sex. Men absolutely need to try sex with you in order for them to vet your relationship potential.

Simply not true. There's a large male demographic that does NOT require sex before relationship. This is all-or-nothing thinking. There's plenty of physical intimacy that can happen before full-on PIV sex. Also, you're assuming that you have to TALK about having a relationship to be in one. Sex is often a progression in a relationship - you meet, you date, you have sex, but at some point you are boyfriend/girlfriend. Some kind of commitment or exclusivity. Hopefully this is before sex.

If you have sex before any kind of relationship, you're setting yourself up to be a plate. "Why buy the cow if the milk is free?" And you're LESS likely at that point to get a relationship because if he can have all of you, but still play the field, it's good odds he will.

FwoGiZ · 2017-11-29T17:02:54+00:00

I am a man and I would never commit before having sex... I personally would never be able to be truthful. Any women that expect a guy to commit before sex is literally cornering a guy into lieing. I think the way you see things is way more realistic. Be nice, prove your worth and he'll have no choice but to consider you!!

paccountqp · 2017-11-29T17:03:50+00:00

Man here - would consider commitment before sex if the woman was a virgin. Otherwise - get bent.

Jikira · 2017-11-29T15:50:56+00:00

I agree with you because of my own experiences. If you are a high- value male, why wait! When you could literally have hordes of women.

My story

I agree let's be honest especially at our age there are very few guys who want to wait until marriage and personally I don't believe you should. I also believe you shouldn't sleep around either. When you are vetting a guy you should be asking yourself serious questions. You should know clearly what your goals are about finances, marriage, and kids. For me, my vetting stage for my boyfriend went like this.

Stage 1. I met him through a friend of a friend, we hung out and had casual conversations. I observed how he interacted with people and his friends. During this stage, there is no sexual tension or anything because we are more like acquaintances that see each other once or twice a month. This stage is strangely where I usually ask the serious questions. I would say something like this -> Me: Eww isn't weird that most of us will have kids. or Me: Man I can't see myself getting married in 10 years. This always works for me when vetting guys and it doesn't really come across as weird if you do it in a playful way.

In addition, I don't believe in the friend zone if you are single, when I was single I had a lot of guy friends including my now LTR. That was the pool I would choose from, this next step to was imperative I was looking for a long-term partner, so most guys did not pass my initial stage. If he didn't seem like he had a long-term goal I dropped him.

Stage 2. The guys who were left after stage 1 I would go on one-on-one dates, nothing fancy. Like a walk in the park or coffee. During this stage, I actually make it an effort to see if the guy is willing to pay for my food.

Stage 3. This is usually when I would have sex, after stage 2 I should have narrow my choices down to 1 then I start being a little more flirty and showing I want to be more than friends.

The reason I believe that sex led to a commitment to my scenario. Firstly, I am extremely picking about men I know that whoever I date I am going to give them my all. I don't want to be submissive to anyone. In addition, I probably won't feel any sexual attraction to the guy until around stage 3. Hah, for the longest time I thought I was asexual. Though I think stage 1 lasted almost a year and stage two lasted about a couple of months. Stage 1 is the most important stage for me because I get to see how they interact without the pressure of trying to impress me to get sex because we are just acquaintances.

My LTR made out on our first date I think we had sex on maybe our third or fourth date. I met him at 18 am now 21. We did not become exclusive, until like a month in and didn't say we were boyfriend and girlfriend until 4 months later. I never rushed him and pushed him into being exclusive both time he initiated.

It is funny because when we reminisce he always said we wouldn't be dating if we didn't have sex so early. Men want sex... there is no denying that we also know not men don't want sluts. I made it clear to my boyfriend that I was a slut but only for him. However, I also showed that I can offer more than just sex. I was very feminine around him. I only cooked and made things for him. I knew from stage 1 he was looking for something serious and didn't like the whole hook up thing. All I had to do was wait until he finish vetting me. lol

est-la-lune · 2017-11-29T17:16:17+00:00

There's a trade-off happening. Most men aren't going to give you a certain level of commitment (e.g. marriage) before you trade sex.

Men want to have sex, including the ones who see you as a long-term mate. He's going to lose respect for you if you give him sex too soon. Part of his vetting process is waiting for you to give him sex and under what conditions you're willing to do so.

A relationship is not a legally binding agreement. Men are willing to enter exclusive relationships for a variety of reasons, including because they want to marry a woman someday, or because they want safe, long-term sex. However, a man who refuses to enter an exclusive relationship will never marry that woman.

A woman who takes care to guard her sexuality is demonstrating value to men. If he's looking for value, he's willing to pay for value in the form of commitment.

Title	Question about commitment
Author	cuspids
Upvotes	6
Comments	9
Date	November 29, 2017 9:48 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7gc47j/question_about_commitment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/question-about-commitment.73841 https://theredarchive.com/post/73841

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