How to improve self-esteem ?

Schhwing · 2021-02-25T12:26:34+00:00

Ouch, truly friendzoned by that one.

While you might be beta as fuck at least you’re aware and want to improve.

If you’re fat, lose weight. You do this by lifting weights and eating less.

If you’re skinny, build muscle. You do this by lifting weights and eating more.

Cardio is important but don’t overdo it.

Read books to expand your mind.

Get off social media.

Pursue a job/career that YOU want.

And finally, and this is the most important. Keep the focus on you. You hear about a “hero’s journey” and “you are the prize”. When you are low value, it’s easy to get caught in other peoples frames and also care what others think. This is bad for your self development. Spend some time disconnected from external distractions, especially your phone and connect with yourself. Also when you are with others keep your focus on yourself. This might sound arrogant or whatever but it leads to an authentic life.

Vicky-3 · 2021-02-25T14:08:58+00:00

1- let go of the voice that compares yourself to others and that tries to impress others.

Find out what make u happy,so that you seek your own approval.

It’s really about approval seeking.

People who don’t let that voice control them are more confident even if they haven’t accomplished a lot.

Work on your self BUT,learn to ignore,challenge and let go of that NEGATIVE VOICE IN YOUR OWN HEAD PUTTING YOU DOWN.

TheReapersEnd · 2021-02-25T14:04:06+00:00

Try to focus on one thing and one thing only for a couple of weeks.

I got back into fitness and lifting weights and was in the same spot as you a few weeks ago. I was indecisive, anxious, and in general just really held my personality back. I felt like a veil of submission and indecision was over my head and often I didn't even know it.

I am still not over the horizon, in fact I am far from it but hitting the weights every day, or at least do the thing I love the most, once a day was a game changer for me.

I feel much more confident and actually feel like I have the control and not be a submissive zombie, looking at social media the whole time.

So start with one thing. Maybe clean your room once a day. Or try to jog every day. Just one little thing and that will lead to other things, better things. Only walking the walk will set you free.

AltruisticBeautiful7 · 2021-02-25T11:25:55+00:00

Accomplishments and victories

OddlyHetero · 2021-02-25T14:54:14+00:00

Consistently do high-value things.

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2021-02-25T15:49:07+00:00

SELF IMPROVEMENT, the greatest confidence builder there is, homie.

ReasonableWealth · 2021-02-25T23:39:12+00:00

And for that girl, she probably didn't respect you enough/she thinks you're a punk due to weak body language and she decided to fuck with you.

Realize that body language/external subcommunication plays a massive part in how you're perceived. You can be the most toughest badass dude but if you carry yourself like a pussy they will treat you badly. Put more time into your external demeanor/masculine aura and try to limit spergy/autistic/pussy/beta body language as much as you can and you'll be fine.

Your self esteem doesn't really matter. Just know what exactly makes you happy, and go do those specific things, always be moving in an upward trajectory in life, and try to clear up any previous/childhood trauma (I personally didn't because some of it was useful) and your self-esteem should be good.

__TheDon__ · 2021-02-25T16:51:56+00:00

“Comparison is the thief of joy”

We all find ourselves comparing to other people who we THINK are doing better than us, or look better than us. However, if you stay in that mindset, you will find yourself miserable and depressed. Focus on the things you can control, and don’t worry about aspects that are out of your hands. Ofcourse it is easier said than done, but trust me it’s worth it in the end.

ImAnNPCbabydududuDU · 2021-02-25T17:03:44+00:00

Have you checked your testosterone levels? It's a world wide problem, so if you haven't please do so.

SamyCos · 2021-02-25T18:12:18+00:00

Sounds like you don't know how to manage your thoughts objectively. This leads to you feeling anxious and beating yourself up. I would recommend this book: Feeling Good-David Burns

UnbreakableButts · 2021-02-25T21:53:00+00:00

Ok so was that a date you were on that she pulled that shit or are you orbiting her hoping to get some cuz if it's the first she's a whore and you need to move on and start screening better, if it's the latter it's completely your fault start being more sexual and intent on what you want from women. It's all a numbers game, start asking random chicks for their numbers.

2021-02-25T22:51:25+00:00

Do do this by getting in shape, pursing your career, doing your passions, and hanging out with people you vibe with. Self esteem is something that grows naturally over time in the right conditions. Start doing what you are passionate about and start being that person you look up to. Learn to love yourself as a unique individual with strengths and faults. If you can love others despite their faults, you can love yourself too.

2021-02-25T23:12:33+00:00

Accomplish real things.

HerculesSeduction · 2021-02-25T23:16:37+00:00

Forge yourself

ReasonableWealth · 2021-02-25T23:33:25+00:00

You need 2000mg Ashwhaghanda every day for 30 days your brain gets overloaded too soon and you're neurotic. Also realize that most of the "natural/chad/alpha" whatever dudes are just talking off the top of their head, but they have subcommunications as if they're being genuine/honest/smart. Realize that you can be a total retard and still do well socially if you do it with the right "energy/intention".

You just need to know deep down that you're better than others, but still be courteous/nice and know when to step up your masculine energy.

Learn about the dunning krueger effect. This is why there's guys that are complete retards that slay. Example : I'm good at some topics I learned back in school, and I'm advanced in a high level and know more than 95% of people on that subject. One day I was having a discussion with a group of people and there was this one guy who didn't know jack shit about it he was actually saying things that were wrong/counter productive, but everyone's eyes were drawn on him and they were acting like he was the messiah or something lmao. In that situation, that guy was more confident because he doesn't know what he doesn't know whereas since I'm an expert on that topic I was a little more anxious because I knew exactly what was right/wrong that was being said and my communication/delivery got negatively impacted by this. So being ignorant actually helped that guy even though I knew more, and the audience was at a similar level intellectually to him so they related to his points more.

What I should've done was I should've developed a strong skill of reading the room, and assess everyone's potential knowledge level and relay it to them on that level, and realize that none of this shit matters because at the end of the day it's all laughs.

Mobile_Ad4660 · 2021-04-10T11:02:42+00:00

Bro......Drop her and Find someone else whose hurting like you do as well...

As men...we don't expect some ugly woman to be what we deserve....but that's just it...

We want a bad Bitch that'll Fuck us good ...not an actual genuine beautiful person who knows what you and also my own self might be used too...

Start with Losing feelings for the toxic and self centered hoe...

If she wanted you she would be there....

You know what ya gotta do.....

YamoTime · 2021-02-25T12:44:01+00:00

Get off Social media - Reddit, Facebook and seek a psychologist. You are aware of your betaness, but there are worse underlying issues - mother issues maybe?

I compare myself to other guys and how attractive they are to the girls,

Sounds like you could be also homosexual as well as If you are a virgin this might explain a lot, RP can't help with this, only professional help.

Title	How to improve self-esteem ?
Author	YamoTime
Upvotes	72
Comments	35
Date	February 25, 2021 11:18 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ls4dc9/how_to_improve_selfesteem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-improve-self-esteem.749987 https://theredarchive.com/post/749987

Comments

1- let go of the voice that compares yourself to others and that tries to impress others.