How regular should texting be before meeting up?

glittersparklesglitz · 2020-02-06T18:15:34+00:00

I like a lot of attention so I like it when the guy is in consistent contact and making effort.

traditsh · 2020-02-06T18:35:47+00:00

I like to get to know a guy before going on a date with him.

Texting is not a way to get to know someone. Texting is false intimacy. Are you looking for a penpal relationship or a real life partnership? Establishing a relationship through regular texting and no other means will get you one of those two things, and it's not the real life partnership.

I think you should have as much communication as it takes to find out he's not waving giant red flags and to establish that there is a baseline of chemistry. Otherwise, it's going to get old quick. If I were looking for a relationship and the person I'm talking too keeps drawing out texting, I'd get the impression we're looking for different things and lose interest.

A lot of what I've read here on FDS is that texting should be kept to a minimum. Don't ruin the mystery of your day-to-day life, he shouldn't know your schedule or routine. This is for safety but also to keep your options open. Texting is to check-in and set up dates until you're actively dating.

You need to get him into real life, on a date, in order to really vet him. How does he treat you when he has actual skin in the game? Texting is easy, it's casual. When you're in front of him, that's the real thing. Your schedules clash, but he's always available to text? Would he be able to make it work for his dream girl? Be less available over text.

I'd recommend dialing back the texting. You haven't been on a date and you're saying good night / good morning? You're being very available for a person you don't know. I'd set aside a couple of hours in the evening (before dinner or after dinner, but long before bed) where you're available for chatversations or calls. Any other time of day? Relax on responding, do it when it's compelling.

And get him to take you on a date!

NoThisIs-Patrick · 2020-02-06T19:35:05+00:00

I hate texting. I like a check-in text every once in a while, and a good morning text after a nice date to show he's thinking of me and wants me.

But I like a phone call most nights. My current dude calls me every night and talks to me for a long time. Sometimes we just sit on the phone together while I play on the internet and he plays vidya.

It's whatever you want. If you guys can't go on very many dates, I would suggest asking him to schedule phone calls with you when you're both chilling.

sadpourtoujours · 2020-02-07T06:52:03+00:00

A ton of texting should be not done. It creates a false sense of intimacy. He’s also likely to get bored of you quicker because you’re revealing too much about to yourself if you’re texting that frequently. In person should be the meat and potatoes. Not texting. Unless you’re a teenager that’s not how you get to know someone.

2020-02-07T11:27:22+00:00

You desperately need to read the book not your mother's rules

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