Finding HVW to connect with - a struggle

hopeful_flounder93 · 2021-05-16T15:40:46+00:00

It can be a bit of a struggle, not going to lie! I'm also in STEM, but luckily found some good ones. It's tough, but once you find even one, you're pretty much "set for life" - good people tend to hang around other good people, so you'll probably meet many through them.

I found it really easy to make friends at concerts... I know that's not an option now, but hopefully soon 😅 Many of my HVW friends are really active in the community, following all sorts of interests. One group is really into art shows/promoting art, I've found a few through work, and another (HVM in this case) organises a running club. I'd honestly just throw myself into things and see what kind of vibe I get! I do know some lovely people that try all sorts of things too, so even if you're both not regulars chances are you'll eventually cross paths with someone worth befriending - e.g., climbing, hiking, whatever! I'm trying Krav Maga for the first time next week, for example 😂

When I started my PhD, I really got on with one girl, who decided she wanted us to have a separate group of friends who weren't all just "nerds" - so she went on Bumble BFF and found two other girls we went on loads of adventures with! I'd recommend this too, with the added tip of once you find a couple people you like, invite them to do something in a group setting. I think that takes the pressure off and makes things a bit more interesting, so people are likely to keep coming back.

Don't get discouraged and above all enjoy your own company in the meantime 🥰

onefoulowl · 2021-05-16T20:32:57+00:00

Pretty much all my friends are pickmeisha's and gay men. I think women in today's society are conditioned to chase men especially in liberal western society. I however talk about having high standards with my female friends and cutting guys off if they do not put in effort chase you to try and instill FDS principles into them. A good sign for female friendships is when they don't immediately become unresponsive and disappear as soon as they meet a guy. Or are not serial daters and are comfortable staying single and waiting for a high quality guy rather than constantly moving from one shitty partner to another. Apart from that I have little advice to offer.

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2021-05-16T20:16:29+00:00

I feel ya—i’ve worked in IT for twenty years, and have only once worked with a woman who i could see eye-to-eye with.

Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2021-05-17T00:18:30+00:00

Start an FDS meetup. :)

Take the movement to a new level.

dkwantsdk · 2021-05-18T06:03:13+00:00

Have you tried women's professional organizations? AAUW, SWE, local women in science groups through meetup, women focused orgs at your workplace, etc. That will expose you to quality and respectable women in a wide age range.

Title	Finding HVW to connect with - a struggle
Author	thatIBchick
Upvotes	129
Comments	11
Date	May 16, 2021 12:31 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ndnd47/finding_hvw_to_connect_with_a_struggle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/finding-hvw-to-connect-with-a-struggle.754967 https://theredarchive.com/post/754967

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