As a disabled guy, I'm having some trouble abstaining from Porn and pre-marital sex.

rocknrollchuck · 2021-05-13T20:02:11+00:00

First off, sorry to hear you are struggling with a serious health issue. That can't be easy, and you have my prayers.

That said, I see a lot of stuff about you and what you want. I see very little about Him, except for one mention of God and one mention of the Holy Spirit. I don't see you mention about how you're living for Him but struggling, that you read your Bible at all, that you go to church or even watch a sermon online.

Christianity is about denying yourself to live for Him instead. We receive the indwelling Holy Spirit to help us with that. No, that doesn't mean we don't sin but it does mean that we are trying to live for Him and often fall short.

It doesn't sound like you really want to serve God at all, to be honest. Have you thought about why that might be?

redwall92 · 2021-05-13T19:52:55+00:00

Pick up hobbies that are within your physical limitations.

Looking at your post-history .. you can game with joysticks and take photos and grow weed.

Can you do some serious chess or other meetup worthy games?

Can you do some book clubs?

Can you learn a foreign language and then do meetups around those?

What hobbies can you succeed at (NOT "are you good at")? With hard work and determination? And some pain on the side? Get involved in those hobbies.

Rifleshoot · 2021-05-14T13:49:14+00:00

When I think about physical handicaps, I think back to the story of when Christ and His disciples saw the blind man. The disciples asked "who sinned that this man was born blind." Christ then said that neither the man nor his parents sinned, but rather the man was born blind that the works of God may be shown through him. So, I would say that you have two choices, the same two choices that everyone has: you can live for God or you can live for the self. Yes, it would be easy to deliver yourself into a live of wanton hedonism, seeking to fulfill every sinful desire, or you can live in the way that God has told us to live. Once you know Christ and know what it good, it is impossible to persist in sin and be truly happy with it. So yes, it is definitely easy to be bitter about your situation, and it's easy for the rest of us to simply say what you "must" do, but you've got to make the decision for yourself. You know what is right, and what is wrong. I recommend, if you aren't already do so, reading scripture. It always provides clarity for me, especially when I'm heavily tempted to sin.

redarcher99 · 2021-05-16T21:43:56+00:00

Briefly you need to repent of your sin, see that heaven with Jesus is better than the world, learn to resist temptation, become a more marriable Christian guy and find a godly woman to pursue.

When tempted, we must all ask ourselves: Do you want pleasure on earth for a short time and eternity in hell or to take up our cross on earth (Luke 9:23) for a short time and enjoy eternity in heaven?

Jesus gives a stark warning:
Matthew 18:8-9
8 If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. 9 And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.

I'm not saying to go around cutting off body parts, but here Jesus points out that it's better to be going to heaven with a disabled body than going to hell.

I watched a talk from Sam Albury who is a same-sex attracted pastor who talked about how he is convinced that living celibate for Jesus is better than indulging sexual sin. It wasn't this one but you get the idea: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAQ8S5gRvDY

Here are some more warnings that I find help sober me in the face of temptation:
Hebrews 6:4-6
4 It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, 5 who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age 6 and who have fallen[a] away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11
9 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men[a] 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Revelation 21:8
But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars--they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death."

The more you give into temptation, the more you rewire your the neural pathways in your brain to say that if you take that path you'll get pleasure. Hence the easier it becomes to keep giving into those temptations, forming those bad habits and risking loving sin more than God in a way that leads you away from God to Hell. However, God has made our bodies in a way that we can create new habits, form new ways of thinking and patterns of behaviour (Neuroplasticity).

Jesus knows what it's like to be temped. He knows what it's like to be single and tempted and yet choose to be faithful. As Hebrews 4:14-16 says:

14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,[a] Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Our temptations are common ones and God provides a way out:

1 Corinthians 10:12-14
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! 13 No temptation[a] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted[b] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,[c] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Temptation shows that you have a real faith and helps us mature:
James 1:2-4
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

The more you struggle with your sins and give into it the less marriable you are. At the moment you sound depressed, exhausted, guilty, conflicted, uncertain (as opposed to joyful, energised, forgiven, at peace and confident in your future). These are all unattractive qualities that give off negative vibes and hinder your chances of marrying a good and godly woman. The lie is that sexual sin only affects your sexual organs, it's actually affecting your ability to pursue your deeper desires of marriage.

If you're not already reading scripture daily and part of a church community then you need to do this to help you strengthen who you are in your relationship with God through Jesus. Ideally you need other men in real life (not just online) that you can do life with.

Praying you'll make a good decision, commit to following Jesus through your trials, get firmly planted in your faith and find a godly wife!

ISTANDCORRECTED63 · 2021-09-16T09:31:29+00:00

Well just so you know, they've done studies on disabled people and we have a higher capacity to experience enjoy and appreciate sexual pleasure and a hyposexuality is in fact a survivor mechanism because we are self-medicating with the endorphins that are released during an orgasm So I think you should double down and not feel any kind of shame because you always watching porn and getting off and have a female sex because it's all about your wellness and quality of life

Title	As a disabled guy, I'm having some trouble abstaining from Porn and pre-marital sex.
Author	Bruh-Nanaz
Upvotes	7
Comments	14
Date	May 13, 2021 7:34 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askRPC
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/nbp91j/as_a_disabled_guy_im_having_some_trouble/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askRPC/as-a-disabled-guy-im-having-some-trouble.755748 https://theredarchive.com/post/755748

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