I was treated badly by "friends" for years which made me into a suicidal recluse for the last 5 years.

Last year I got back into social media after losing about 70lbs and these bullies got back in touch.

I was nice to them and gave them closure and when they asked to hang out again I said okay because I was too forgiving.

They ended up being the same pieces of shit as they were before and just strung me along.

I think the only reasons they got in touch was for closure and when they got it they didn't care.

I could've gotten my revenge by just leaving them on "read" and ghosting them but my niceness and bitchness got in the way. I regret so much giving them closure now I know how it can affect someone not having it.

I've been waiting for months for them to get back in touch so I can do this and leave them without closure like someone did to me when I tried to apologise for something I did years earlier.

Years these fuckers bullied me and I'm still so bitter and angry about it all. They're living in my head rent-free whereas I doubt I even enter their mind.

I woke up this morning and the first thought was one of those with anger, I can't sleep because of them too.

I'd love to make them feel how I felt and see them face consequences for their actions. I'd love to heal my destroyed ego and have them know I was the one to get them back.

How can I just move on and let them get away with it all when they show no shame or remorse, when they go on as if I don't exist and seem happy, and when others in my town and old mutual friends treat them well as if they're not the scum they really are? Like others treating them well pisses me off too because don't they have morals too? Do they not care about what pieces of shit they are?

I'd never do anything because I don't want to get into trouble which I hate because it feels like I'm stuck unable to do anything.

I've read lots of things on here about getting over revenge how it's not worth it, it's bluepilled, it's childish, you should just forgive them even if they haven't asked for forgiven, it'll ruin your own life etc but even after I improved my life I'm still as bitter and angry. It's pathetic. I want them to want to hang out with me so I can reject them as a fuck you so they their egos are ruined like mine was and they realise how low they are.

I want to move on so badly and live a happy and successful life, I wish I could get amnesia for it all tbh.

I want them to know how I feel and get back in touch with the even though logically this will just give them fuel and they'll enjoy the fact I'm still bothered by it. But how can I just act like I'm not and be fake and let them get away with it by putting on a fake smile?

Does this feeling of wanting revenge ever go away without actually getting the revenge you crave? Are there any proven steps to do this instead of generic advice to move on etc? Thanks

Just for the record I won't do anything to get me into trouble lol