"Why are you so picky?"

_differentmentality_ · 2021-03-17T14:12:03+00:00

Never understood how being “picky” about who you date is a bad thing. If you’re not gonna be picky about the person you’re gonna spend the rest of you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with what the hell are you supposed to be picky about? You’re not buying a new pair of shoes, you’re choosing the man who could potentially be your future husband and father of your kids. If there was ever a time to be picky, this is it.

2021-03-17T13:52:55+00:00

Nope. Everyone has told me all my life I’m too picky (I’m 30, single 6 out of the last 7) and I don’t want to jump ahead because we just met, but I think I may have met an HVM, finally. And in real life. Through my work. Not OLD.

Be patient and keep the faith ladies. And end of day, no one is more important than you.

marlenemermaid · 2021-03-17T13:58:25+00:00

I feel it on personal level. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink alcohol and I’ve never smoked weed or used drugs and many men (especially on dating apps) told me that I am not normal. 😬😬

sleepysiri · 2021-03-17T14:46:18+00:00

People like that are such snowflakes! And I rarely use that word since conservative boomers made it their lingo.

It’s not racist to want someone of a similar culture, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard and I’m a first generation immigrant WOC.

I want someone of a similar culture, that means someone who shares the ideas I was raised with from my heritage as well as the values I picked up growing up with westerners. I need someone who understands my struggles and mixture of beliefs.

And drugs? How in the hell is it picky to find someone who doesn’t do DRUGS?

mijnomon · 2021-03-17T15:15:54+00:00

Knows how to groom himself and keep himself healthy/fit
Emotionally stable (no mummy issues, doesn't treat me like a punching bag or a therapist, not sexist/racist)
Has a relatively stable job and stable income
has hobbies other than drinking and football/gaming
Just a head taller than me
Honest with his intentions, doesn't treat women like objects (baby making machine, slut shaming, victim blaming, etc)
Not religious

As you can tell, I didn’t even put race/religion/cultural standards because it gets even worse when I reduce it to a certain group of people.. I’m 26 and I have 2 jobs (graphic design full time/3D printing part time), relatively easy going and funny, is emotionally stable (going to therapy), take care of myself (I’m fat but plus size fashion is a god send) and has a wonderful group of girlfriends who support me all the way.

I really think your standards are absolutely reasonable, men OUGHT to step up it’s ridiculous that we have to keep pushing back. What happened to all these men???

bizzybumblebee · 2021-03-17T15:21:56+00:00

next time someone says that i am just going to ask them "why do you have no standards?"

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-03-17T15:18:22+00:00

You are not too picky! You know yourself and know what you want, that is a very very good thing. Honestly other people are probably "too picky" too, just either aren't self-aware to know themselves, or doesn't think their criteria is "picky".

I'm currently not dating, but I don't want someone that watches porn. I feel like I'll get so much backlash for that one out in the general public if I tell people that. I also don't want someone that drinks alcohol or does drugs.

wrice05 · 2021-03-17T15:55:49+00:00

Just one more manifestation of society's gaslighting tendency to constantly manage expectations for men downward. The bar isn't just in hell, it was PUT there. Purposely.

burpleseaurchin · 2021-03-17T20:41:41+00:00

Popping in to rant about #2. Culture is NOT the same thing as race! So sick and tired of people conflating the two. You can't choose your race, but you can definitely choose what cultural norms you partake in & MANY cultural "norms" (ass backwards "traditions") are oppressive/harmful to women.

lucidlotus · 2021-03-17T19:10:05+00:00

I’ve been told this too when in reality I wasn’t picky enough.

Title	"Why are you so picky?"
Author	6cupsoftea
Upvotes	71
Comments	11
Date	March 17, 2021 4:48 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m6sh44/why_are_you_so_picky/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-are-you-so-picky.767124 https://theredarchive.com/post/767124

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