High-earning here means > 6 figures in the US.

Let me provide a list of why marriage is not worth it after some research.

  1. Marriage has absolutely NOTHING to do with raising children. Unmarried men have the same custodial rights as married men. They are entitled to fight for custody just like married men. If your partner (married or unmarried) suddenly leaves with your child, that is considered child kidnapping. Lastly, marriage does not give you a leg up in the custody battle afaict.

  2. 100% of your earnings, 401k contributions, stocks, and other assets that were accrued during marriage are up for grabs in a divorce. Given this, if you do marry, there is very little point in separating finances as it belongs to your spouse anyways.

  3. In a communal property state, 50% of those earnings described in (2) are entitled to your spouse in a divorce. A prenup will probably not save you from that as anything below 50% can be considered unfair from a judge's view. As such, a prenup doesn't really matter as you can't get around this 50/50 mark. Equitable property states are different but I would imagine it's gonna be close to 50/50 at the end of the day anyway.

  4. For the emergency medical decisions, you can just sign a medical directive that gives your non-spouse some rights to make decisions on your behalf. Besides, what's wrong with your parents making emergency medical decisions for you. Keep your parents close to you and it's all good.

  5. Filing joint marriage taxes has very little benefit if both partners make similar amounts of income. If your partner makes considerably less, there is benefit, but at the same time, you are more vulnerable to get absolutely reamed in the divorce court since your incomes differ widely.

  6. Many healthcare providers allow you to add a domestic partner for health coverage. Even if they don't, if your spouse does not even have healthcare, that says a lot about her income and job. If she is unemployed or doesn't even have a job that provides good healthcare, you're probably going to get reamed during divorce.

  7. Marriage allows you to avoid inheritance taxes, but inheritance taxes are only in a couple states so no big deal here.

  8. IRA benefits. Again, if this actually pertains to you, your partner is not making a lot of money.

  9. Social security benefits from marriage only applies if "if either you or your spouse don't qualify for your own Social Security benefits, you can receive the other spouse's benefits." Again, this doesn't apply for most people.

  10. If you share equal parenting responsibilities, that doesn't mean anything at the end of the day during divorce settlements. It's all about total household assets. The best way to combat women losing their career after child-birth is for equal male paternity leave.

Given the reasons above, I find very little practical reason to marry as the only thing it really does is give your partner 50% of all total assets accrued since marriage. Most importantly, marriage has nothing to do with raising kids as unmarried men have the same custodial rights to their children that married men do. When considering these facts, the only reason a high-earning man would marry is if (1) his spouse earns more than him (2) is unaware that marriage has basically 0 benefits for him and has nothing to do with raising children (3) is pressured to do it by his peers and partner.

You can hold the ceremony, but don't get license.