Getting revenge - is it worth it?

huge_gap · 2016-11-28T18:13:04+00:00

In my experience with revenge, the person who ends up hurting most is you.

The best revenge is to divorce your wife and become the best version of yourself through hard work, exercise, diet, cultivating hobbies and friends that add to your life.

fnordsnord · 2016-11-28T19:24:33+00:00

I'm in my 50's. I've had a few experiences with both incandescent rage AND the long, slow acid burn of seething hate.

In BOTH circumstances, the time, energy, and treasure put into payback made me feel stupid when I finally go my payoff.

"He lost his job. Why aren't I happier. He had it coming."

"He got arrested. Why don't I feel triumphant."

In my case, what I discovered was that those guys who did me wrong got to live in my head rent free while I plotted and executed my revenge.

In the end, while I got a little satisfaction, it was disproportionately small compared to the effort and emotional energy it cost me to set it up.

Your mileage may vary.

aurelius_shrugs · 2016-11-28T20:55:25+00:00

Revenge is an inalienable human right.

That being said, your ex wife is trash. Neither her nor he deserve your effort.

If you're not divorced, do. Find another job. Fuck, move to another country.

theWolfeman88 · 2016-11-28T23:44:33+00:00

Divorce your wife, accidentally "reply all" of this dudes info/pics to everyone in your company through a proxy server/public computer, AND work on being the best version of yourself.

Too many punks get away with shit because you're supposed to "be the better man." Nah. Nope. Fuck em all. All it takes is one click and your entire company will find out how Johnny over there likes to be snowballed after getting his prostate finger banged.

Do it. Sometimes we gotta listen to the little red man on our shoulders.

Yashugan00 · 2016-11-29T00:01:33+00:00

Look at it this way: you own this secret, which gives you power and potentially control, as a defensive measure. As soon as you release this in the world, it will start a life of its own. You don't know how this will turn out, you have no say in that. It might get ugly, drama, recriminations, bad blood.

Which situation do you prefer.

Thizzlebot · 2016-11-29T06:30:39+00:00

He is currently supported by higher ups and I don't want to risk my position.

I'm all for petty revenge but you should never fuck with your livelihood.

quicklogaccount · 2016-11-28T18:07:29+00:00

Should I leak this info and try and ruin his reputation?

That seems hard to pull through without getting caught.

Assume both your (ex)wife and him will know it was you, but might be unable to prove it. Make that "might" a certainty, abuse computer and legal nerdery. They'll know it was you but it won't be proved it was for legal purposes.
What will they be able to do to punish you? They WILL do that. Who'll win in the end? Is it worth the hassle?

[deleted] · 2016-11-28T21:01:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Red_Invictus · 2016-11-28T21:50:14+00:00

I might be butchering the "original" quote but I fully believe it either way - seeking revenge on someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it.

The best revenge is living a happy life, the best possible you you can be. You probably aren't seeing it now, but, when both that loser and your trash ex wife see a better you, your own satisfaction with yourself will truly be "the best revenge".

I have had the experience of a former friend turned enemy at my place of work, and holding on to that seething hate over a long period of time until he eventually left on his own. It did absolutely nothing for me, and simply ignoring him, despite how hard it was, in the end, was the best option. I simply wish I'd let go of the rage sooner.

At the same rate this guy deserves it.

One other quip I have - I wish I could reference the reading exactly, but there's some RP concept talk "against karma." This guy doesn't deserve anything - that's you believing in a fair and just universe of some sort. TRP tells us that this is a bullshit illusion, we want to believe because it's comforting, or validating, in some way. In the end, let those two deserve each other, they really do.

TLDR: revenge probably isn't worth it. In terms of how much stress you are prolonging on yourself with this psychological fixation of revenge, why are two people who aren't worth the time of day from you worth expending this mental effort?

ifindshitt · 2016-11-28T21:52:12+00:00

just download some asian midget porn on your computer. boom, u got a virus. backup the pictures then upload them to your wives facebook or whatever social media u want.

???

profit?

BusterVadge · 2016-11-29T00:02:12+00:00

I wouldn't do it, but if you decide to, wait a long time, I'm talking like at least a year before you do anything.

1 - It gives you a long time to decide if you really want to go down that road.

2 - You have more time to plan an effective retaliation.

3 - Once everything is blown over suspicion will not be on you.

PantsonFire1234 · 2016-12-02T14:57:05+00:00

To quote our Emperor Trump - "I think maybe my greatest weakness is that I trust people too much. I'm too trusting. And when they let me down, if they let me down, I never forgive. I find it very hard to forgive people that deceive me. So I wouldn't know if you call that a weakness, but my wife said, 'Let up.'"

I always get even, does it hurt me to, perhaps. But it sets the line straight to everyone witnessing this that if they mess with me their gonna roll one day.

Now generally I'd say you should punish your wife more so than your co-worker. And you should punish your ex-friend more than him to. But punish them all in due time.

People won't agree with this but I stand by my opinion that fear is a great motivator to get people in line.

Title	Getting revenge - is it worth it?
Author	revengeornorevenge
Upvotes	3
Comments	19
Date	November 28, 2016 5:40 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5fczk8/getting_revenge_is_it_worth_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/getting-revenge-is-it-worth-it.78270 https://theredarchive.com/post/78270

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