How to fix victim mentality?

mwcmu452 · 2021-06-12T17:25:13+00:00

Having victim mentality will definitely radiate beta vibes. Been there, done that. Learned the hard way. This is the core of nice guy mentality, where you always put yourself in the prey mindset instead of predator. Get disciplined and on your purpose, and learn the harsh truth that on this earth, as a man, no one cares about you but you. People will take advantage of you if you let them, including your girlfriend. You are either the prey or the predator, be the predator.

brave_snow02 · 2021-06-12T22:45:50+00:00

Stoicism helped me fix it a bit

Notorious6 · 2021-06-13T01:17:16+00:00

+1 for stoicism

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2021-06-13T05:40:38+00:00

1)Recognize the emotional perks gained from viewing oneself as a victim who has been maligned somehow.

A)You can get sympathy and validation from others' misguided concern over your largely self-imposed angst and drama.

B) you can avoid taking any emotional risks, you need not risk failure or rejection.

C) you don't have to take on the sometimes heavy weight of responsibility for pickung yourself back up and cleaning up the mess in your home. You don't have to do emotional labor of changing habits and beliefs.

D) You get the cold comfort of feeling pure, just, innocent, and righteous regardless of the sewage you're actually crawling through.

2) Recognize the beliefs.

A) "Bad things happen to me and are going to always keep happening, Therefore I should be angry and I should be afraid." In other words, bitterness.

B) "Other people or circumstances are to blame for my many misfortunes, and they are actively working to wrong me. Therefore I shouldn't stand and be counted." In other words, contempt and blame-gaming.

C) "Efforts to create change are destined to fail, therefore how dare I go down such a path!" In other words, Helplessness and Despair.

D)"I'm afraid I deserve the painful, frustrating things that happened, and I'm unworthy of my opportunities and accomplishments." In other words, shame.

E) "All my life other people have stolen from me the things I deserved." In other's words, feeling owed.

(Note that D and C are driving your oneitis and pedestalizatoon behaviors towards your GF. You're ashamed that maybe you don't really deserve to make her your fuck toy. Oneitis has everything to do with self-sabotage and manufactured helplessness.)

3) Flip the script.

"Although I'm hurt frustrated and feel alone, good things have happened often in my life. There are many new positive opportunities out there. There's always a middle path to getting what I want out of the situation."

"I recognize the many mistakes I've made and see how they're opportunities to improve my personal process, to make it work better."

"I have power to make a plan to change my unpleasant situation. I need only ask people I trust to help me be more accountable to that plan."

Jetrous · 2021-06-12T17:41:35+00:00

With time. Change your outlook on life. Remind yourself every time you start slipping into old mental models to not think this way. Find a way to think about the world that is effective and enjoyable FOR YOU.

danaw1992 · 2021-06-12T21:27:29+00:00

You wake up and feel like a victim? I don't understand. Maybe you sleep really deep and she fucks your asshole and when you wake up you feel you've been fucked and that's why you feel like a victim.

Title	How to fix victim mentality?
Author	Fearless-Fruit5344
Upvotes	16
Comments	8
Date	June 12, 2021 4:37 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/nyar2z/how_to_fix_victim_mentality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-fix-victim-mentality.782849 https://theredarchive.com/post/782849

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