To add some context: I am living in eastern europe, 27 years old, raised by a very conservative baptist mother(minority religion here), been only with a 'worldly' girl years ago, changed university and switched career which stunted me a few years, still live with my mom(very common here) but have very good financial prospects for the future. I still go to church and do all the christian stuff because I am too used to it and all my 'social' network consists of christians, also I don't want to upset my old mother and make her suffer. I lived basically like a hermit for years, no interest in girls but all christian girls were also scarce or taken anyway but we recently moved in a church with many young people and a fair number of young couples which reignited thoughts of emotional and sexual starvation. I am even crushing on a girl which makes me extremely frustrated, if she didn't have a boyfriend I would ask her out,it is that bad! In all protestant churches here sex before marriage is a no no so I sometimes contemplate becoming an npc but man, it means i have to give up on a simple peaceful frugal life of video games and anime and bust my ass, but I am so starved of female affection and sex that I am willing to make that step. It doesn't help that everyone is asking that dreadful question and see other young church members holding hands and stuff when hanging out, it makes me angry and bitter, I sound like an incel. Is there anyone here in a similar position? How do you fight this urge, this longing? I feel like I am going to die alone and miserable.