I'd like to tell you a little story of my morning. I was sat in the bed after my shower, towel dried hair everywhere. He came in to talk to me and was looking at my crazy hair thoughtfully. My immediate reaction was "Oh he thinks my hair looks really awful and he's going to make a jokey comment about it". Normally, I would immediately try to preempt that to protect my ego with either a joke of my own or an accusatory "You think my hair looks awful!"

But I tried to just pause, not run my mouth. Instead he asked where a brush was, which again I instinctively felt could be a criticism. Instead of being defensive, I asked why. He told me he was wondering because he was going to offer to brush it for me (which he knows I love). So I told him, and he spent five minutes lovingly and slowly brushing my hair, and then kissed my crown. It felt really good, and so intimate. It built closeness.

I could have been a bitch. I've often been a bitch. And simply through my own reaction I'd have made him not want to do it, and have made us miss out on a really lovely little moment.

So the lesson is, assume the best of your husband, and don't assign him thoughts and feelings he likely isn't even having. You'll only end up being the loser from it.