Long time lurker. Need help.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-05-21T18:25:04+00:00

The more fulfilling your personal life is, the easier it is to let go of that societal push for finding fulfillment through others.

If you can find successful, single women to look up to, you will see that their lives are anything but empty and alone. This article discusses some wonderful successful women and their thoughts and feelings. There are some gems of wisdom here:

https://www.thecut.com/2016/09/25-famous-women-on-being-alone.html

WittyImprovement · 2021-05-21T18:17:41+00:00

I feel you. I'm slowly learning to accept that being single forever is a true possibility for me. I think I'm doing much better with it now compared to a year ago. I'm still open to being in a relationship with a HVM but I don't want to let it consume me because that's not good for my mental health. My attitude towards dating now is 'if it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't'. Being single isn't bad at all if you have other things to enrich your life with like a career, hobbies, friends, etc. I plan on putting forth most of my social energy in the future towards make new friends (women, specifically).

myeggsarebig · 2021-05-21T22:13:28+00:00

I’m curious what you’re thinking about when you say love and marriage. How can you find a way to imagine yourself as the person you’re in love with and getting married to...maybe until you’re 30 or maybe forever. Treat yourself the way you’d treat an HVM that you’d consider marrying.

I’ve had experiences where I’ve been obsessed with the idea of love with a specific person. I couldn’t go 5 minutes without thinking of him. One day I woke up, I cried a river, I shaved my head, and I drove across country all by myself and never looked at him again. It had to be extreme for me to get away from that LVM because I was that obsessed. I went to LA and found some friends willing to take me in and cheer me on until I was ready to go back and marry my damn self.

** Shaving your head will keep most men away. Lol

level_up_always · 2021-05-21T20:25:37+00:00

this is literally the definition of mindfulness. meditation would help you sounds like you are having a lot of intrusive thoughts. a simple exercise you can do is when you realize you are thinking these thoughts (which is what mindfulness really is, meditation is just a concentrated version of it) say in your head or outloud "i reject that thought". you will literally have to do it over and over again hundreds if not thousands of times per day but it goes down a lottt over time even fairly quickly if you stick with it.

laffytaggy · 2021-05-21T22:14:59+00:00

It takes time. Honestly I think until I reached 35, i was internally obsessed because I still hoped deep inside that I would find a hubby. It wasn’t until (I mistakenly thought) I found the one and that failed/blew up in my face did I really truly learn to let go and create my own fulfilling life. Sadly we sometimes learn best by experience. I wish I had the insight you have at your age. Keep up the work, change isn’t easy.

Title	Long time lurker. Need help.
Author	xartalien
Upvotes	19
Comments	6
Date	May 21, 2021 6:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/nhyrsu/long_time_lurker_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/long-time-lurker-need-help.791907 https://theredarchive.com/post/791907

Comments