Why do men always have a sob story?

level_up_always · 2021-05-10T18:58:59+00:00

because it works for them and it's easy to do in order to manipulate, women are more sympathetic and they take advantage

divination__ · 2021-05-10T20:49:36+00:00

To use it as leverage for ✨manipulation ✨.

If someone starts a relationship (of any kind) with you by trying to get pity out of you, it is not because they feel some special connection with you, it's so they can always play the victim in the relationship and guilt you into doing whatever they want. In the example of being cheated on, they'll probably use that to justify being controlling and jealous. I don't believe anyone who tells me their trauma from the get go - if it was truly traumatic you'd want to protect that vulnerable part of yourself. It took literal years, if not decades, to learn the traumas of my closest friends and even family. That's real trauma. It's fucking hard to talk about.

These men are faking vulnerability to get you to overshare so he can use that information against you, to foster an unearned sense of intimacy too quickly, and to make himself a victim. It is genuinely one of the first and most telling signs of sociopathy.

sewingmachinesavior · 2021-05-10T16:59:41+00:00

Women expect men to cheat, aka it’s not entirely a surprise. Men expect their ownership to be enough for the woman. I have seen women devastated by cheating. I’ve been cheated on, but never took it personally. It has everything to do with them, their insecurities, morals, etc, and absolutely nothing to do with me.

BUT, I don’t do second chances. I won’t go lookin for cheating. But if I find out, or have a gut feeling, it’s OVER.

Edit: Men take a huge hit to the ego when a woman cheats is my point. But it really means the man is emotionally neglectful, the vast majority of the time.

QueasyEducation5 · 2021-05-19T16:04:18+00:00

I think they use it to put themselves immediately into the ‘victim’ role. This way you are obligated to cater to their emotions because they are ‘victims’. They get to be skeptical of you so they can push through your boundaries as you try to prove yourself.

I’ve been cheated on. I’m not permanently scarred from it. I learned, I moved on. That sort of thing isn’t a big deal unless someone makes it a big deal. Does any one want to be with someone who lives their life around something in their past?

Title	Why do men always have a sob story?
Author	Zinnaah
Upvotes	32
Comments	7
Date	May 10, 2021 11:01 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/n91rio/why_do_men_always_have_a_sob_story/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/why-do-men-always-have-a-sob-story.792002 https://theredarchive.com/post/792002

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