Should I make amends ?

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-02-18T19:47:16+00:00

Do not make amends or contact him back. He is desperate for attention, and the minute you give it to him, he’s won. You owe him nothing, no explanation will change who he is as a person, and anything you say is providing ammunition for him to further manipulate you or a potential future partner. It’s over, for very good reasons, and he whether he misses you or not, it doesn’t change that he did not show you the proper care, respect, or love while he had you.

Write him a letter, talk about all of those feelings, talk about the good and the bad and explain why you ended it, how he messed up.. and then instead of sending it to him, burn it. 🔥

EveSerpent · 2021-02-18T20:56:45+00:00

You don’t need to forgive him ever.

If you really want to, you can decide to forgive him without contacting him. If you tell him you forgive him, then he knows he can get away with the same behaviour in his next relationship. He shouldn’t believe that is true.

AyemHerself · 2021-02-18T21:39:05+00:00

Don't be fooled. He isn't acting this way out of concern for you.

If he had respect for you, you may not have broken up in the first place AND he would respect your wishes to cut him off now. Instead, he's chosen to blow up your phone and demand your presence by any means necessary.

Reaching out to "make amends" will not have the effect you want. It will only communicate to him that being pushy and demanding will work to monopolize your time.

All you can do is block him every time he reaches out again and wait for him to get bored.

Summerisle7 · 2021-02-18T20:57:02+00:00

Block and delete him on all platforms.

FurryBellyButt0n · 2021-02-19T01:37:42+00:00

Right now you are probably hurting and taking things hour by hour or minute to minuity by obsessing about this to get a sense of closure because you are feeling so many emotions and I want to affirm that this is a totally normal reaction when you feel deeply hurt and/or trying to process what you just went through because you are still dealing with the initial unexpected shock of it.

Do you have a friend or a therapist or some type of natural support (colleague, a personal journal to do journaling or a reflective therapy workbook you can get off amazon on healing, friend, pastor, support group, FDS, etc.) you can turn to and/or process these feelings and the anxieties/fears or concerns you have without having to resort to any temptations to reach out to the ex? Find at least 1 or 2 outlets and/or other coping outlets to focus on when you are feeing uncertainty because we often runinate on those negative feelings rather than focusing on what you need from the feeling.

You need to find out why you are resisting this so much AND TRYING TO ALLOW US/FDS TO JUSTIFY YOU REACHING OUT TO YOUR EX! We don't roll like that on FDS! You know what we stand for and you know you DO NOT DESERVE CRUMBS FROM LVM/NVM BECAUSE IT'S BETTER TO BE ALONE THAN WITH SOMEONE THAT MAKES IT SEEM LIKE LOVING YOU IS A CHORE!

Forgiveness is a process that takes time, healing and reflection. If you want this to be an authentic path to becoming a Queen and empowering yourself, stop being nice to men. They don't deserve our empathy. They don't deserve our time. We deserve our time, but no-one else is entitled to it. He did what he did, you felt what you felt, and it is what it is. What is there else to say? Why do that to yourself when you know it'll only hurt you because he is a LVM that didn't respect you as a human being an equal because you were a woman? Why disrespect yourself like that?

Introambi1 · 2021-02-19T01:12:32+00:00

Thanks everyone for your answers, I appreciate all your responses. I’ve considered your suggestions and I’ve decided not to reach out because I don’t need to. I was going to do it for my sake in my own time but you’re right, I can free myself on my own. Thanks FDS squad 💕💕💕

Title	Should I make amends ?
Author	Introambi1
Upvotes	10
Comments	8
Date	February 18, 2021 7:23 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/lmuu64/should_i_make_amends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/should-i-make-amends.792584 https://theredarchive.com/post/792584

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