I just got out of a relationship and I feel glad to be single again.

I was single for most of my life and struggled with dating. Every time I went on a date the girl would lose interest after the first date and ghost me. But I kept working on myself and told myself "as long as I love myself there will always be someone who will appreciate me" When I met this girl I was so used to rejection that I thought she would also reject me.

But on that first date she was different. She wasn't trying to run away after half an hour and making up an excuse but she was interested in everything I had to say. For the first time I finally thought that this date could lead to somewhere great. I met a girl who seemed to really appreciate me on the inside and was willing to give me a chance. All of those rejections seemed to have been worth the one girl.

As we went on dates I couldn't help but fall in love with her because I just thought that we had so much chemistry that I couldn't give this up. I actually felt a sense of uneasiness for some reason but I didn't want to run away from this relationship and self sabotage myself so I decided to give it a chance. I should have trusted my gut feeling but I really couldn't trust myself because I always thought anxiety about love was normal. I couldn't see the red flags that other men learned to avoid because I was a codependent who didn't know until it was too late. I didn't have many options but I should have just waited longer. It's worse being in a toxic relationship than alone.

I should have known that she was always obsessed with being pretty and sweet because she had to hide her dark side underneath. Her tone could turn extremely cold whenever things didn't her way. It wasn't a mistake, she didn't just have a bad day, it was who she really was. I wasted so much time believing her words.

I should have known that when she canceled dates last minute, she never cared. I always had to do the work of rescheduling like she was in demand and I was lucky to even have her. Her apologies were meaningless. She always talked about communication but she never communicated when I asked her to. She always demanded a lot from me but never gave back. When she gave things to me she expected me to give even more in return.

After the breakup she moved on to a new guy so quickly. I don't think I can ever date anymore. My life was much better when I was single. The toxic relationship traumatized me more than I expected. I'm still feeling the pain even though it already ended.

Not all women are like that but I feel like I need to just be single forever and focus on myself. The pain is showing us we need to set a boundary; maybe it’s showing us we’re going in a wrong direction; maybe it’s triggering a deep healing process. It's so important to focus on your individual healing and development of your self.

Please don't force yourself into relationships that feel bad. There is a very real cost -- not just for you, but for the people you interact with along the way.